CaveGirl

My ABF and I separated 5 weeks ago, by me sending him away back to his family in another state. Hoping he would get help. He wanted help it wasn't an ultimatum.

last week he ended up in the ER after going on a binge, he checked himself in because he was afraid he was going to hurt himself. Hadn't heard from him in a week and I was feeling weird about it. Worried.

So I hear from him on Saturday and he has started taking Wellbutrin and Antabuse and going to meetings. He was talking about taking care of so many things, none of this he ever did during other "I'm gonna clean up times". Even eating better!

We talked about so many things with love and kindness, he came clean about a lot. It was a really nice talk.

We did not have a horrible break up, he was more the loving annoying drunk than the mean spiteful kind. It wa just really hard to live with. It was destroying his life. We have chosen to stay in each other's lives in some way for now with a minuscule potential of revisiting our feelings once he has some real time under his belt.

While I am not hanging on to hope for us, I feel like he is finally headed in a great direction. I'm really happy for him and hope he stays on this path. He actually sounded like a man not a kid who was in trouble. I'm so proud of him.

I well know it is early days and he could easily unravel again. Just want to put good thoughts out into the world for him, because I do love him so.

dandylion

CaveGirl.....I also hope that he continues on the path to recovery.
It is possible if he really wants it bad enough and is willing to do the work that is required.....

As much as you care for him...and, I am sure that his family does, also....it is a path that he must walk by himself...with no excuses and no enabling.....

dandylion

MsPINKAcres

CG,

sounds like he is making some healthy decisions ~ good for him.

hope that you continue to make the same healthy decisions for you & one of the wiser suggestions that was given to me in dealing with someone early in recovery was to base my decisions on their actions not their words or intentions.

wishing you both the very best

hopeful4

I hope he is successful in recovery. I also hope you continue to take this time for some R&R, peace, and recovery from all of this in your life as well!

CaveGirl

Yep I'm taking care of me, and I've been down the 'I'll change' road with him many times before, but this was the first one where he seems serious. And it probably because no one is enabling him anymore. He gets zero financial support from anyone.

I'm detaching but very hopeful for him. I won't be shocked or shattered if he messes up... But I really do hope the best for him, he's lovely underneath it all. He's got some bad troubles.