My experience of early recovery
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
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My experience of early recovery
Hi all
At the insistence (
) of super V, I am posting in this forum my experience of early recovery. I hope this helps everyone who is struggling right now. Be patient, work hard (at recovery) and the reward will come.
A small note about early days as I've read some recent posts on relapses. I know in my early days I felt like I was bombarded with the messages: 'one day at a time'; 'dont give up'; 'have a plan'; 'forgive yourself'; and 'you're not a failure'. I remember that these phrases usually went over my head. They felt condescending and plastic. At that time, the usual thoughts streaming through my head was: 'I am struggling'; 'why does the world hate me'; 'why am I such a useless piece of crap'; 'why cant I stop'; and 'I dont deserve love or compassion'.
Over time and with reflection, I came to the realisation that the messages of support as above are essentially true and that the negative thoughts were without substance. But I had to get through the early days (the first month) to gain that realisation. And it was hard, no ifs and buts about it. What got me through was having a plan, having lots of support from family, friends, professionals, SR and AA (basically anyone who was nice to me ), resolve (not the epic type rather the gritting your teeth, pacing the floor and constantly repeating the phrase 'it will pass' like a mantra type) and basic rules of operation.
By plan, I mean a recovery plan. It took months to figure out something that worked for me. I adopted a shotgun approach and tried almost everything ranging from AA, AVRT, psychologists (CBT), psychiatrists, D&A specialists, Buddhism, meditation, exercise. Eventually I whittled it down to a daily/weekly routine. I've stuck to this plan through thick and thin. The plan has also changed over time, eg, at the beginning I went to AA meetings at least 5 times a week and now I go 1-2 times per week. It is really really important to have a plan.
Support is also super important. And by that I mean POSITIVE support. Folks who recognized that my negative thoughts and self loathing were a figment of my twisted imagination. Folks who knew that I was really a worthy person and helped me to gain that realisation. Find those folks, stick to them like glue.
Finally, by basic rules of operation I had to follow very very simple processes. Do not go back to my old haunts. When walking pass a liquor store, make sure I walk 30 steps beyond the entrance before looking back. Stay in the bus from point of entry to destination (do not get off early). Do not pick up the first drink, etc,etc. Nowadays they look kinda dumb but I needed these rules badly in the first month.
So, I do get it when I hear about relapses and the struggle of early sobriety.
Its not easy.
It does get better.
Never, never, never give up.
I hope this helps. Please join us in the 24 hour recovery thread !!
At the insistence (
) of super V, I am posting in this forum my experience of early recovery. I hope this helps everyone who is struggling right now. Be patient, work hard (at recovery) and the reward will come.A small note about early days as I've read some recent posts on relapses. I know in my early days I felt like I was bombarded with the messages: 'one day at a time'; 'dont give up'; 'have a plan'; 'forgive yourself'; and 'you're not a failure'. I remember that these phrases usually went over my head. They felt condescending and plastic. At that time, the usual thoughts streaming through my head was: 'I am struggling'; 'why does the world hate me'; 'why am I such a useless piece of crap'; 'why cant I stop'; and 'I dont deserve love or compassion'.
Over time and with reflection, I came to the realisation that the messages of support as above are essentially true and that the negative thoughts were without substance. But I had to get through the early days (the first month) to gain that realisation. And it was hard, no ifs and buts about it. What got me through was having a plan, having lots of support from family, friends, professionals, SR and AA (basically anyone who was nice to me ), resolve (not the epic type rather the gritting your teeth, pacing the floor and constantly repeating the phrase 'it will pass' like a mantra type) and basic rules of operation.
By plan, I mean a recovery plan. It took months to figure out something that worked for me. I adopted a shotgun approach and tried almost everything ranging from AA, AVRT, psychologists (CBT), psychiatrists, D&A specialists, Buddhism, meditation, exercise. Eventually I whittled it down to a daily/weekly routine. I've stuck to this plan through thick and thin. The plan has also changed over time, eg, at the beginning I went to AA meetings at least 5 times a week and now I go 1-2 times per week. It is really really important to have a plan.
Support is also super important. And by that I mean POSITIVE support. Folks who recognized that my negative thoughts and self loathing were a figment of my twisted imagination. Folks who knew that I was really a worthy person and helped me to gain that realisation. Find those folks, stick to them like glue.
Finally, by basic rules of operation I had to follow very very simple processes. Do not go back to my old haunts. When walking pass a liquor store, make sure I walk 30 steps beyond the entrance before looking back. Stay in the bus from point of entry to destination (do not get off early). Do not pick up the first drink, etc,etc. Nowadays they look kinda dumb but I needed these rules badly in the first month.
So, I do get it when I hear about relapses and the struggle of early sobriety.
Its not easy.
It does get better.
Never, never, never give up.
I hope this helps. Please join us in the 24 hour recovery thread !!
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