Rubyx

I'm in much better spirits today than the previous 2 days thanks to a good night's sleep. I'm looking forward to today. One thing I have going for me is the fact that I am moving next week and have a ton of things around the house to keep me busy. That and my new dog :-). I can't help being worried about this weekend though. Not only is it the fact that it merely being " the weekend " a huge trigger for me but we are going to my parents for Easter dinner on Saturday. Dinner at my parents means a huge drunk fest. I don't know how I'm going to survive this without drinking. Asking them not to serve alcohol is not an option and not going is not an option. I'm moving 6 hours away and this will be our last family dinner together for a while. I'm considering coming down with some mistery illness but my mom will be pissed if we don't show after going through all this trouble to prepare a nice dinner. Not sure how to cope with this.

Dee74

Hi Ruby, I wish I had a dollar for every time I read 'not going is not an option'.

If you were ill, not going would become an option, if you had car trouble not going would become an option, if the weather was bad not going would become an option...

I understand that people may not be pleased or disappointed - but at this point in your recovery why is not going to something you're scared you may drink at not an option?

D

least

If it's going to be a big drunk fest, why go at all? Put your sobriety as your first priority.

Steely

If it's going to be a drunk fest it would be horrible. Does your family know you have stopped?

If you really really really can't get out of it (you can, don't go) get a plan set up to cover the scenarios you might see occurring.

If all fails, then just bolt. You will be so glad the next day and will establish even further the foundations of your sobriety.

Saying NO is difficult at the start but becomes so much easier each time we do say NO! You take back control of your own life.

Rubyx

The only reason I'm even entertaining the idea of going is because I know how hurt my mom and my sister will be if I don't go. The only excuse I can come up with for not being able to attend would be having something awful like the stomach flu. An excuse I have used before and my mom well knows it.

I haven't told anyone I've quit drinking yet, not even my hubby who is out of town right now, because they've heard it all before so I was waiting till I had a couple weeks under my belt to say anything. I will tell my husband though when he comes home on Friday.

Also to clarify, although mostly everyone drinks alcohol, the drunk fest usually involves my dad, my brother in-law and myself.

I know that the solution seems simple and probably is but it doesn't seem simple to me.

On the one hand if I do go and not drink it will be very empowering but I don't feel strong enough right now. I guess I know what I have to do but don't know how to do it without pissing people off.

Steely

I know "they have heard it all before" but wouldn't this be a great opportunity to let them know that you mean business. Empowering, as you say.

For your family to be pissed off because you are trying to get sober doesn't sound very supportive.

Sometimes you've got to **** people off but they get over it. Alcoholism is a bigger **** off and you don't get over it so quickly.

thomas11

I think the issue is how much of a priority quitting drinking is right now in your life. If it the #1 priority, then sacrifices will have to be made. I'll use myself as an example. I not only am learning sobriety, I am in a family squabble right now, and I'm not on either side, I'm caught in the middle. So, I get out of town or make other plans when family events happen (Thanksgiving, Xmas, NYE and now easter). Its that important to me. I know people are being hurt from my absence, but I need to make sure I'm ok first. Probably not a good example, but I think you can get the gist of it.

Steely

I think that's an excellent example and the issue is one of how we view the importance of our sobriety. From your posts it seems that your sobriety is very important.

Not only is it family with drinking going on and you expected to join in, but there's also a family squabble! Danger, danger lol. Unless you feel really strong in your sobriety I'd give it a miss, they'll get over it. You will be really proud of yourself.

Whatever you decide I really pray you don't drink.

Soberwolf

I simply wouldn't go