Day one
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 3
Day one
Hi to all! Once again starting day one but this is the first time that I have actually sought out help from the world. I will be 40 in a couple of weeks and decided that I need a change. I have drank heavily for the past 6 years. Affected my relationship, my weight, and my mood. My boyfriend and I have always drank together. He's home 7 days at a time. But then I started constantly drinking even when he wasn't home. I can go a few days without drinking but when he comes home I start back. He wants to slow down in drinking but I think if I don't stop completely then it's just gonna get worse. He's supportive about me quitting but won't quit himself. Makes it hard with the temptation. I want to stop and show him that it can be done and how much of a better person I would be and how not drinking would make him feel better. He has been drinking for 10 years. He doesn't drink when he is away for work but drinks nightly when he is home with me. It's a battle!! I know I need to start with myself. I just need support from others. People that understand. He doesn't right now even tho he says he does. He doesn't think he has a problem or he just doesn't want to stop because he is not like a crazy drunk. But i do think he feels like he needs it nightly when he's home. Sorry for the rambling.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,880
Here are some links to some great SR threads that you may want to check out, Mesha:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-115-a.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-115-a.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,880
This is another link to a great thread about the importance of a plan for sobriety and recovery:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...highlight=psst
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...highlight=psst
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
Hi and welcome Mesha 
Having a partner who drinks is a challenege but it needn't be a dealbreak., Thats why places like SR exist - for support
you can do this...I'm really glad you found us
D
Having a partner who drinks is a challenege but it needn't be a dealbreak., Thats why places like SR exist - for support
you can do this...I'm really glad you found us
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
hi...if you truly are ready to stop drinking..his drinking would not be a temptation. I have had a drinking problem my entire life....10 years ago I quit (when I was truly ready)...still went to family parties (with heavy drinking)...still my kids had beer in the fridge...beer was my drink of choice. But I was DONE...I just looked at it as soda. I maintained being sober 8 years...then for the last 2 years...I drank again. One day I thought I could just have a beer...and I tried it 2 years ago and hadn't been able to stop...until a month ago.
Presently, my b/f has a bottle in the house and is out at a bar having a drink. I DONT CARE. I don't care because I am done...I look at is as it is his "soda". Iook at him as a different problem than me.....I "glow" in the fact that I do not have nor do I want that problem anymore.
I'm not saying you are not ready...but if you are ready...and willing to fight for your health (and set the example for your partner)....than you have to keep your "problem" in check and not worry about what others are doing.
As the days go by it gets easier.....and you will feel better...and being sober is so much better than being controlled by alcohol.
Presently, my b/f has a bottle in the house and is out at a bar having a drink. I DONT CARE. I don't care because I am done...I look at is as it is his "soda". Iook at him as a different problem than me.....I "glow" in the fact that I do not have nor do I want that problem anymore.
I'm not saying you are not ready...but if you are ready...and willing to fight for your health (and set the example for your partner)....than you have to keep your "problem" in check and not worry about what others are doing.
As the days go by it gets easier.....and you will feel better...and being sober is so much better than being controlled by alcohol.
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