Pressmetilihurt

I've read the whole book. I can figure out the steps. I've seen many 4th step formats. I don't want to float away either. I notice that when I go to meetings I don't use.

Coldfusion

I think it is a good idea to have a sponsor help you with the steps. It is good to have another opinion of whether you have the right ideas about how you are doing the steps.

SoberLife90

My sponsor told me if I don't get a sponsor I'm sponsoring an idiot. Meetings may keep you dry, but the psychic change is a direct result of the steps.

Berrybean

Why don't you want to get a sponsor?

I didn't want to either. In fact I put it off for months and months, convincing myself that I was different from everyone else, and didn't need one. Actually I just wasn't willing to ask for help (since then I've realised that most areas of my life improve if I let people help me). It was fear and pride holding me back. But it took a long, long time for me to get honest with myself so I could see that. I suppose that's why I do need a sponsor. Step 5 you'd need to find someone, and if it's a sponsor (or at least someone in AA) they can help you figure out what your step 4 is telling you and how to deal with that new information. And as far as making amends without a sponsors guidance? Well, I'd have been set to make some proper damaging blunders if I'd not had my sponsors advice.

Thing is, all the stuff about getting a sponsor and working the steps is (like everything in AA) suggestion only. It took me a while to realise that it's 'suggestion' like someone writing a cake recipe might suggest using eggs. Of course, as an adult with free will we can go ahead and decide not to add the eggs. But then we can't really complain too much if we don't get the cake we were hoping for. I was not adding eggs and getting miffed that things weren't getting better. It took my boss sending me for counselling because I was getting dangerously depressed and confused (where I just pretty much lied by omission about every part of my life and feelings that I spoke about) for me to realise that I needed to actually take the suggestions that had been offered to me, and finally was desperate to summon up the willingness that I needed to start a healthy recovery in earnest, and this started with a simple sentence... "Would you consider sponsoring me through the steps?""

Carlotta

This is not a very kind thing to say but I guess your sponsor knows you better than we do.

Soberwolf

Only you can really answer that

OldTomato

I would recommend getting a sponsor, they can offer new insights to the book and the steps that you may have overlooked. It'll also be a helpful experience if you ever decide to sponsor someone yourself!

Bunny211

I won't pussyfoot around it...Hell yes you need a sponsor!

ScottFromWI

Why not just try it and see?

LostLilly

My sponsor has been amazing for my recovery personally. I can share everything with her and she gives great advise. She has also introduced me to more people then I ever would have met on my own. I hope to someday be a sponsor and help others the way I have been helped.

Lilly

Tailor

I've heard that there's only two ways you shouldn't do the steps, first is by not doing them! And second is doing them without a sponsor!!!

Fly N Buy

My best thinking bought me a seat in the rooms. The same brain that kept me drunk couldn't get me sober. A guide who has come through the darkness I found to be very helpful, why wouldn't you want to work with someone?

Delizadee

Another way to look at it is, we put so much effort and energy into out drinking, many of us if not all have to put just as much work into our sobriety. Having as many tools as possible in our arsenals to stay sober will likely be more of a help than a hindrance.

Sponsors are a great support. If you have one that doesn't work for you you can get a different one. The other thing I've found is that the stepwork becomes something you will learn to incorporate into your daily life if you do them right. And doing them right may mean something different each time you take a poke at them.

Good luck on whatever you choose and I hope you find peace and happiness through your work ☺

Anna

I hope that you do what's right for you.

48heath

I suggest asking this question in the 12 step forum.

Jackedjohn

That is completely up to you. No 2 people have done recovery the exact same way. If the 12 steps are something you really want to try and don't understand them, sure get a sponsor to help you. If you were struggling with math you would get a math tutor. My only suggestion would be to be very careful who you select. Get someone who is interested in your success in recovery and not THEIR success as a sponsor. I walked away from popular recovery because in my opinion there are better options... again in my opinion. The key is to find what works best for you. If you find it in a sponsor and the steps... great, but just know that if it isn't something that sits well with you there are other options.

MIRecovery

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has
thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program

Grendhar

The people I have listened to in A.A who haven't drank in a long time seem to credit it to having a sponsor.

Give it a try and tell us how it is working out.

Mountainmanbob

A good moral sponsor has helped many with good being the key word.

Actually let's change that with moral being the key word.

MM

IvanMike

Yes because self-deception is hard if not impossible to spot.

What worked for me was asking a man who had been clean a long time, who had integrity and was comfortable in his own skin, and knew what it was like to be me to sponsor me. He didn't agree to but suggested we get to know each other and had me call him every day. He guided me through the steps and a lot more. - Simply put, he was a guy who had been where I was and had gotten to where I wanted to be. He kind of scared me, as did a a few other guys who obviously weren't full of crap. Recovery isn't for the faint of heart. It helps to have a guide.