I hate myself!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
Posts: 18
I hate myself!
Well, I blew it. I can't believe I let myself drink again! I embarressed myself so much in front of my husband. He found me lying passed out on the couch with toilet paper hanging out of my pants! How could I have done that?
The worst part is I had also let our puppy outside with no fence and forgot about him. Thank god he didn't run off.
That behavior is outragous! I hate myself so much for that. I was doing so good with 4 days sober and then I go and make an ass out of myself.
I normally would never abmit to anyone that this happened, but I need to be honest with myself and share my humiliation. Maybe that way I can get myself the help I need.
I have to work in two hours, but I plan on going to a meeting first thing tomorrow am.
Hockeychica
The worst part is I had also let our puppy outside with no fence and forgot about him. Thank god he didn't run off.
That behavior is outragous! I hate myself so much for that. I was doing so good with 4 days sober and then I go and make an ass out of myself.
I normally would never abmit to anyone that this happened, but I need to be honest with myself and share my humiliation. Maybe that way I can get myself the help I need.
I have to work in two hours, but I plan on going to a meeting first thing tomorrow am.
Hockeychica
Castaway
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 783
******{Hockey}}}},
You'll find no one judging you here! We've all been there dozens of times.
And see, your puppy stayed by you so you're not that awful!
You NEED to go that meeting and get back on the right track. I'll pray for you today. Let us know how your meeting went.
Sandy
You'll find no one judging you here! We've all been there dozens of times.
And see, your puppy stayed by you so you're not that awful!
You NEED to go that meeting and get back on the right track. I'll pray for you today. Let us know how your meeting went.
Sandy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
Posts: 18
Thanks Ted. I am determined. I just hate it when I get those moments of weakness and I think that I am better than this disease. It's the alcohol talking, telling me I can just have a few.
I am commited to this. I need to forget about lastnight and work on today!
I am commited to this. I need to forget about lastnight and work on today!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Today is a new day, and if you go to bed sober it's been a good one. Get to that
meeting, and keep going. Get a sponsor. Reach out. Don't drink. Be honest, open minded and willing. Sobriety is a gift that is yours if only you do a few simple things.
Keep on keepin on we love you and are behind you.
God Bless
Love Rowan
meeting, and keep going. Get a sponsor. Reach out. Don't drink. Be honest, open minded and willing. Sobriety is a gift that is yours if only you do a few simple things.
Keep on keepin on we love you and are behind you.
God Bless
Love Rowan
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
(((Hockeychica)))
I'm sorry you feel humiliated and embarrassed. The more my disease progressed, the more humiliating the stories became. All you can do is pick yourself up and carry on. Yes, we all have been there. Move forward and draw strength from the painful memories. You can turn things around. Good luck on day one. You have our support. Take care...
Talia
I'm sorry you feel humiliated and embarrassed. The more my disease progressed, the more humiliating the stories became. All you can do is pick yourself up and carry on. Yes, we all have been there. Move forward and draw strength from the painful memories. You can turn things around. Good luck on day one. You have our support. Take care...
Talia
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
I thought I was stronger than alcohol for a long time. But I went about proving it to myself the wrong way... I've finally accepted that if I have a drink, the odds are practicaly nil that I'll stop there.
So I avoid that first drink now. And I am stronger than alcohol after all.
A lesson learned chica...
And you're stronger because of it.
So I avoid that first drink now. And I am stronger than alcohol after all.
A lesson learned chica...
And you're stronger because of it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
Posts: 18
You all are great. (Excuse me while I wipe the ters out of my eyes.) This is the most painful lession I am learning in life right now. I will pick myself up and move on. I am glad I have all of your support. That means the world to me. I am going to that meeting tomorrow morning. I know I will be ok tonight at work in the mean time.
Thank you all for your support, you have helped me more than you know. I look forward to getting better and returning the favor.
Thank you all for your support, you have helped me more than you know. I look forward to getting better and returning the favor.
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
I'm thinking back to my very painful memories. Sometimes that's what it finally takes, for it to sink in. We are powerless over alcohol. It is a tough lesson to learn. I hope your husband will be forgiving and understanding. I hope he realizes how painful this is for you. Within time, you will hold your head up high again. My thoughts are with you and are heart felt. We all make mistakes. We must learn to forgive ourselves.
Talia
Talia
garden variety alcoholic
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tehachapi, CA
Posts: 85
At least you had your pants up, I was found , more than once after some soberiety, passed out, soiled undies, in a pile of puke, pants around my ankles.
The good news is, that the only way that you fail in recovery, is if you quit trying.
The bad news is, that it can always get worse.
The good news is, that the only way that you fail in recovery, is if you quit trying.
The bad news is, that it can always get worse.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 131
Hockeychica,
Try not to beat yourself up over last night. We've ALL been there girl. My neighbors once found me completely wasted in my hallway wearing nothing but a smile. They tried to sheppherd me back to my apt, but no one (self included) knew which one I lived in. I woke up the next day next to a bottle of vodka wearing an unfamiliar shirt. We have to learn from it and move on. Stay strong!!!!
-bea
Try not to beat yourself up over last night. We've ALL been there girl. My neighbors once found me completely wasted in my hallway wearing nothing but a smile. They tried to sheppherd me back to my apt, but no one (self included) knew which one I lived in. I woke up the next day next to a bottle of vodka wearing an unfamiliar shirt. We have to learn from it and move on. Stay strong!!!!
-bea
just j
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: chicago,illinois
Posts: 174
Oh Hockey,
I am sorry and really feel for you. I can feel your pain. At least you USED tp!!! I love the mix of compassion and humor in this thread. I can relate to it all. We do all have our stories and one thing that did help me to fess up was to share the rotten truth with my husband, who knew some but not all and it was so humbling, embarrassing and just hard. You were right to come here and share it. thanx!!
just chalk it up to learning and going through the process. find a meeting like you said and go!! you will feel better. Jalyn
I am sorry and really feel for you. I can feel your pain. At least you USED tp!!! I love the mix of compassion and humor in this thread. I can relate to it all. We do all have our stories and one thing that did help me to fess up was to share the rotten truth with my husband, who knew some but not all and it was so humbling, embarrassing and just hard. You were right to come here and share it. thanx!!
just chalk it up to learning and going through the process. find a meeting like you said and go!! you will feel better. Jalyn
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Hi chica my name is lee, and I am an alcoholic . god you brought back some memories for me , like you ,alcohol took me to places , and with people I did not want to be .
Hang in there girl, get to a meeting , several in fact . Share your situation with them, it is a blessing to be able to get it off your chest , and you will not be judged .
Ring people from AA , especially if you feel the need to drink, I found driking huge amounts of water helped me early on too. Take that pup for a walk! I had a new pup when I first got sober, and he was such a Blessing ! ( thats him in my Atavar)
All I can advise you , Chica , is remember DONT pick up the first drink under ANY circumstances
get to meetings +++++
You have to surrender to win
Good Luck Chica
Keep coming back
HUGX
Lee
n
Hang in there girl, get to a meeting , several in fact . Share your situation with them, it is a blessing to be able to get it off your chest , and you will not be judged .
Ring people from AA , especially if you feel the need to drink, I found driking huge amounts of water helped me early on too. Take that pup for a walk! I had a new pup when I first got sober, and he was such a Blessing ! ( thats him in my Atavar)
All I can advise you , Chica , is remember DONT pick up the first drink under ANY circumstances
get to meetings +++++
You have to surrender to win
Good Luck Chica
Keep coming back
HUGX
Lee
n
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Fl.
Posts: 34
Keep trying
For months I kept trying to tell myself "I will only have a few this time".
Well, maybe yes, maybe no. But it only takes one drunk to do something stupid and kill yourself. It is the obsession of every alcoholic that we can control our drinking. The pure and simple fact is that we cannot. Drinking is not an option for us. We must COMPLETELY abstain. Keep in mind- and you know it deep inside- that if you take that 1st drink again, that any number
of horrible things could happen to you. When you get an urge- you must know that alcohol is like POISON to your body.
Hang in there. You can abstain. You have to!
Well, maybe yes, maybe no. But it only takes one drunk to do something stupid and kill yourself. It is the obsession of every alcoholic that we can control our drinking. The pure and simple fact is that we cannot. Drinking is not an option for us. We must COMPLETELY abstain. Keep in mind- and you know it deep inside- that if you take that 1st drink again, that any number
of horrible things could happen to you. When you get an urge- you must know that alcohol is like POISON to your body.
Hang in there. You can abstain. You have to!
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: east coast
Posts: 2,440
(((Chica)))
Don't be so hard on yourself, and surely don't hate yourself. As I've heard a few times in this post, we have all been there. It's not a pleasant place to be. My grandma used to say that it's ok to make mistakes as long as we learn from them. Learn from this. Go to the meeting. Keep posting, and whatever you do, don't give up.
Sherry
Don't be so hard on yourself, and surely don't hate yourself. As I've heard a few times in this post, we have all been there. It's not a pleasant place to be. My grandma used to say that it's ok to make mistakes as long as we learn from them. Learn from this. Go to the meeting. Keep posting, and whatever you do, don't give up.
Sherry
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