thomas11

I have an opportunity. I hesitate to even post this because I am going to open myself up to criticism. My parents are going on an all inclusive vacation in Mexico this week and have done so for 9 years. They are retired and are doing what retired people do. I have a contentious relationship with my folks, particularly my mother. I have the opportunity to join them. At their age (particularly my father), I'm not sure how many opportunities I am going to have to do this. Never done it before. They want me to join them. I want to spend as much time with my father as I can, but I also know what these all inclusive resorts entail. Lots of drinking, napping, eating, drinking, more napping etc...I don't want to do that. My father, god bless him, is very honest and tells me "that's what we do". Well, that's fine, but for me its a one way ticket to bendersville, and I really don't want to do that.

At the same time, my father is not long for this world, I may not have this opportunity again, so I am inclined to take it. Not to drink myself crazy, but to spend time with my father.

suki44883

This cruise is only for a week or so. Surely you can spend time with your father after they are home from the cruise. I suggest you check your motives about this. Just my humble opinion.

Zufrieden

Hi,
Contentious relationship with parents.
Confinement to a ship.
Bottomless glasses of free alcohol......?
No criticism but I second Suki's suggestion that you check your motives and, motive/intention aside, your history and willingness to rationalize drinking around special occasions, particular moods etc....
You have sounded really good lately. It would be a shame to see that go away.
Best wishes.
Jonathan

least

What they said.

Dee74

You have a difficult relationship with both of your parents best I can understand it, Jeff. I know both of them have really stressed you out.

Confined quarters - bad idea.

You're coming off oxys and it's been only a little while since you drank again.

all inclusive - bad idea.

This is not an opportunity, man - at least not in the way you mean it.

I had to learn to be my own parent Jeff.

I had to learn which ideas were good ones and which ones were simply opportunities for my inner addict, and his toddler brain, to go ape****.

D

silentrun

You said it is a one way ticket to 9 days of drinking. That is enough time to get some dangerous withdraw even if you do manage to quit once you get back. 2 drunks drinking together isn't really quality bonding. You know what the answer is. Would your wife be going? If she is that is really unfair to subject her to all that.

Time2Rise

I suggest you be brutally honest with yourself. If it were me, I wouldn't go because at this point in my sobriety, I know with almost 100% certainty I would drink. And this time I am prepared to make major sacrifices in order to stay sober.

But this is about you. Do you want to stop drinking for good? If so, then what is the probability that you will drink on this vacation? 30%, 50%, 70%, 99.9%?

BlissWithin

I've been following your story for a long time Jeff. This situation, as somebody already pointed out is another attempt to rationalize your drinking. Please, don't do that.

Coldfusion

I really don't think this is a good idea, Jeff. All-day drinking is not a good environment to be in.

ScottFromWI

You knew the answer before you even posted the question Thomas.

thomas11

No disrespect to anyone, I have to talk to my wife for awhile.

Rcvringaddict30

As everyone above said, I would definitely think hard on this one and reevaluate your motivations.

One thing I will tell you, is that I was sober before my wedding for a few months in 2008 …
My honeymoon was at an all-inclusive resort in Cancun… I was off to the races after that and I never stopped drinking.

I can tell you with 100% confidence that I would definitely be drinking if I was going there again. I too have also rationalized drinking on special occasions, so I know where you're going with this. It's a slippery slope. Good luck!

suki44883

My thoughts on this...Thomas, you need to decide if you are going to be a drinker (even an occasional one) or not. Regardless of the situation, if you truly want to be a non-drinker, then you need to do whatever is necessary to protect your sobriety. You need to not put yourself into situations you know are dangerous to your sobriety.

Bottom line...Do you want to be an occasional drinker or do you want to be a non-drinker? Only you can make that choice.

thomas11

Scott, we may not agree on everything, but you are right. I need to take a pass. And I will. Thanks.

Dee74

There was really only one good choice you could make Jeff.
You made it

D

Berrybean

Def best to pass on this one.

If you really want to spend more time with them, could you arrange a different weekend excursion. Maybe somewhere where you have more of an escape route and there is less focus on drinking to go together. My partner went to Berlin with his father (first time away with his father ever at the age of 50). Plenty to do and plenty of time-out opportunities for when they drove each other insane. Worked out pretty well, but after a weekend they'd had enough - a whole week is a LONG time.

PurpleKnight

Hey Jeff, sounds like a good decision to give it a miss!!

. . . sometimes the difficult decisions are the right decisions!!

ccam1973

Good decision Jeff.

Hawkeye13

Well done

Why don't you plan something with your Dad that's alcohol free?
Maybe a nice cabin rental weekend someplace pretty with a hot tub
so you can rehab your knees and do some cooking and have some
nice father-son talk?

Fluffer

Good decision, Thomas. I can personally vouch for the fact that all-inclusive resorts in Latin America don't bring out the best in us.