jimmyhow

I've been avoiding social situations since new years eve and have managed to stay drink free (my personal record). I have no desire to drink when left to my own devices but know I will struggle with socializing with drinkers. How long did you wait before venturing back into these situations? Or do you still avoid them as much as possible?

Jim.

FreeOwl

I had to be in situations like that for work, so it wasn't really a choice in some instances...

But my general approach was if it felt remotely like "testing the waters" - I didn't do it.

When you're in a solid place, it won't feel like testing the waters, it will simply feel like a conscious decision....

"I'm going to go to this concert even though it's at a bar, because I know that I will be OK going and not drinking, because I have a clear plan and I know what I will drink instead, I know what I'll say if asked or offered a drink, I know that I will leave if I am feeling at risk and I have a clear plan to leave and get home that is not dependent upon anyone else if leaving is what I need to stay sober".

If any of that feels tenuous or challenging or fake or not true for you - strongly consider not going.

ScottFromWI

Depends on what you mean by "social situations". I pretty much avoided anywhere that alcohol was served for a couple of months. I now have no problem being at events like weeddings, family gatherings etc where alcohol is present. At 3 years plus sober though I still rarely, if ever, go to a bar or any other event where the sole reason to be there is drinking alchohol. I simply don't have a reason to be there. I will eat at a restaurant that also has a bar, but i really can find no good reason to spend any time in a regular bar.

What it really boils down to is how you feel about it, and also ask yourself what your motivations are for going into these types of situations.

thomas11

I think many of us are different. I can be around people drinking without a problem. It wasn't always that way, but it is now. I would say it would be wise to avoid any and all situations that would tempt you.

Soberwolf

I think around 4 months for my neice's christening and then my first sober christmas at mrs sw

My last real craving came just after I got through everything so cautiously il suggest anything from 6-12 months for things like gatherings & such

tomsteve

How long before you 'test the water' and be around drinkers?

i failed tests many times.
i dont test myself anymore.
i dont go around places with alcohol unless i have a legitimate reason.
im done playing russian roullette.

jimmyhow

Thanks for the replies and I wont be doing it any time soon. There's a family birthday party and I won't be going.

ALinNS

I am in the same boat as Thomas, we are all different, being around people drinking has never been a trigger for me, now if I did it often that is a different story. My better half and I have been to a couple of taverns as there food is amazing and I was fine, never felt my AV talking at all.

All I can suggest is be aware/mindful, if something tells you to try just one, I suggest you leave, take a deep breath and focus on staying sober.

All the best
Andrew

Anna

I tested and failed very early on, so decided to stay away for quite some time. It was many months before I was able to around alcohol and be comfortable.

AAPJ

For me it depends on what kind of drinkers I will be around. Social drinkers? No problem. The old drinking buddies I know who pound down drink after drink? No thanks, I avoid them.

jimmyhow

It would be a mixture of both for me, but I know of at least a couple of people who're going who can turn a 'bit of lunch' into a steaming bender and they would expect me to be in on it. I'm not ready for that sort of pressure.

Dee74

for me it was until I knew I would no longer struggle, Jim.

I waited until I knew for certain that I preferred being sober and I wanted to live this way.

For me that took a few months - 4-5 maybe.

I worked up to it - I did social things - coffee, movies, pizza - but not anything where alcohol was the central them e or the reason for being there.

Thats not to say that being out with drinkers again was easy either - it was very weird for a while - but I genuinely had no desire to join them.

Now it's just like white noise - I don't register if people are drinking or not

I left those guys who always wanted me to join in behind too. That's not me now.

D

least

I never had much problem with being around drinkers, other than finding drunks obnoxious. But it was a few months sober before I was in that situation, and I felt strong enough in my sobriety that I wasn't tempted to drink by being around it.

I was an at home alone drinker, so rarely drank anywhere else.