Rough day
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 16
Rough day
I see facebook posts and pictures of my wife and daughter. i can't do anything but cry.
I'm trying to stay strong because i know that the sober life is the only way i can be happy and not hurt anyone, including myself.
I don't feel as if i'm going t lapse or fall back into a pit of drinking, i do however just feel alone and ashamed of myself. Losing my wife and daughter is the single most devastating thing i could have imagined and i was the reason.
I'm trying to stay strong because i know that the sober life is the only way i can be happy and not hurt anyone, including myself.
I don't feel as if i'm going t lapse or fall back into a pit of drinking, i do however just feel alone and ashamed of myself. Losing my wife and daughter is the single most devastating thing i could have imagined and i was the reason.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
The repercussions and guilt can be very strong. But you are absolutely correct that staying sober is the only way you have a chance to regain the trust of those around you.
Do you think perhaps that since part of you addiction revolved around being on the computer that staying away from things like Facebook might be a good thing for a little while? I believe you mentioned you are trying to find an AA meeting you like and you have a visit to a therapist planned? Spending time here on SR and concentrating on some of those other things might be a lot more helpful right now.
Do you think perhaps that since part of you addiction revolved around being on the computer that staying away from things like Facebook might be a good thing for a little while? I believe you mentioned you are trying to find an AA meeting you like and you have a visit to a therapist planned? Spending time here on SR and concentrating on some of those other things might be a lot more helpful right now.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,203
Well I have been through the same infrared, my daughters were teenagers at the time and I had contact then and have contact now they are adults and I am sober
I don't know if alcohol was the reason infra but either way the best thing you can do is to not drink and be the best person you can be, not least because you have the right to see your daughter unless you do something that means it is taken away
I cried a lot too and sometimes, if I dwell on it I still feel emotional but I feel less wretched if I keep doing the right things
I don't know if alcohol was the reason infra but either way the best thing you can do is to not drink and be the best person you can be, not least because you have the right to see your daughter unless you do something that means it is taken away
I cried a lot too and sometimes, if I dwell on it I still feel emotional but I feel less wretched if I keep doing the right things
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI 
The repercussions and guilt can be very strong. But you are absolutely correct that staying sober is the only way you have a chance to regain the trust of those around you.
Do you think perhaps that since part of you addiction revolved around being on the computer that staying away from things like Facebook might be a good thing for a little while? I believe you mentioned you are trying to find an AA meeting you like and you have a visit to a therapist planned? Spending time here on SR and concentrating on some of those other things might be a lot more helpful right now.
Do you think perhaps that since part of you addiction revolved around being on the computer that staying away from things like Facebook might be a good thing for a little while? I believe you mentioned you are trying to find an AA meeting you like and you have a visit to a therapist planned? Spending time here on SR and concentrating on some of those other things might be a lot more helpful right now.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by saoutchik
Well I have been through the same infrared, my daughters were teenagers at the time and I had contact then and have contact now they are adults and I am sober
I don't know if alcohol was the reason infra but either way the best thing you can do is to not drink and be the best person you can be, not least because you have the right to see your daughter unless you do something that means it is taken away
I cried a lot too and sometimes, if I dwell on it I still feel emotional but I feel less wretched if I keep doing the right things
I don't know if alcohol was the reason infra but either way the best thing you can do is to not drink and be the best person you can be, not least because you have the right to see your daughter unless you do something that means it is taken away
I cried a lot too and sometimes, if I dwell on it I still feel emotional but I feel less wretched if I keep doing the right things
She is also not biologically mine, but i've been there since she was 9months and she is 4 now. i've raised and supported her, i've educated her and been there when she was the happiest and when she was sick. i've seen her first nose bleed and i've seen her cry. She is as much my daughter as the birth father. I love her so much
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I know it's hard, but I would stop torturing yourself by looking at FB infrared.
It's just going to make you sad, angry at yourself and usher in self pity.
You need to focus forward not back.
You don't want to go back to being that guy again - you have to change and move forward, for your own good as much as anyone elses
Put your energy where it will do most good - your recovery
D
It's just going to make you sad, angry at yourself and usher in self pity.
You need to focus forward not back.
You don't want to go back to being that guy again - you have to change and move forward, for your own good as much as anyone elses
Put your energy where it will do most good - your recovery
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Infrared, I'm sorry for the pain you're feeling. Please be kind & patient with yourself as you heal. None of us intentionally hurt those we love. Alcohol turned me into someone I didn't even recognize - the guilt & remorse held me down and kept me from moving forward. It's fine to acknowledge the mistakes made, but please don't dwell on them.
totfit
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Ft Collins, CO
Posts: 1,273
I am not one that believes everything happens for a reason. The thing I think is that we can make it a reason. We can make it a reason to change. I have had the same thing happen to me, wife and little girl. I am now however living a life I really could not have imagined afterwards. Married again for going on 17 years with a 14yo son that is doing wonderfully. Work a job I absolutely love (most of the time). Equal to the top physical shape at any point in my life (factoring in age of course). At 56 I don't run as fast, but run more miles than I ever have. Life is good. It used to irritate the hell out of me too when people said things like I just said, but it is all true. Is life perfect? No. I would not change anything I have done in my life though leading to what I have now as I would not want to change now for anything. Just tried to take the next step, imperfectly in the right direction. That is how I wound up where I am at. I hope you can several years from now look back and say the same thing. By the way I do have an absolutely wonderful relationship with daughter and "grandson". I even get along with the x-wife. I hope you are amazed.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by totfit
I am not one that believes everything happens for a reason. The thing I think is that we can make it a reason. We can make it a reason to change. I have had the same thing happen to me, wife and little girl. I am now however living a life I really could not have imagined afterwards. Married again for going on 17 years with a 14yo son that is doing wonderfully. Work a job I absolutely love (most of the time). Equal to the top physical shape at any point in my life (factoring in age of course). At 56 I don't run as fast, but run more miles than I ever have. Life is good. It used to irritate the hell out of me too when people said things like I just said, but it is all true. Is life perfect? No. I would not change anything I have done in my life though leading to what I have now as I would not want to change now for anything. Just tried to take the next step, imperfectly in the right direction. That is how I wound up where I am at. I hope you can several years from now look back and say the same thing. By the way I do have an absolutely wonderful relationship with daughter and "grandson". I even get along with the x-wife. I hope you are amazed.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by Jamie1
Perseverence of sobriety will hopefully re-unite you with your loved ones. I just got tears in my eyes 
Just keep on trucking and don't forget to have hope.
Just keep on trucking and don't forget to have hope.
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