hope778

Hi, I'm hope778, and I'm an introvert. "Hi, hope."

Man, the past week has felt like an eternity simply because so much has happened. My AH left for rehab, and I have attended my first Al-anon meetings. While this is a big step for anyone in our shoes, I feel this is a leap for myself. Anyone out there also an introvert? Anyone out there tend to "deal" with things internally? Anyone out there like me who prefers to think it out and cry it out on their own, then convince yourself you feel better and move on about your day? If you're like this, like me, I want you to know there is a much much healthier and more FULFILLING way to process your feelings and emotions that come alone with loving an addict. And that is with community. I know that sentence probably just shot a rush of anxiety through your body if you're introverted like me. Anxiety increases at the thought of speaking in front of people, talking to people, baring your problems for the world to see. But I can promise you.. I do not regret for a split second going to these Al-anon meetings. I'm on the other side now and can promise you, it may be uncomfortable the first few moments you're there, but once others speak you will instantly connect to what they're saying and feel your heart slow down, your breathing calm, and your mind will experience such peace that you simply cannot achieve on your own.

An experienced Al-anon-er shared something today that his past sponsor told him years ago. The keys to a fulfilling life as someone who loves an addict is this:
1) Mind your own business
2) Get a life
Think about it....

Thanks for reading.

ladyscribbler

Another introvert over here. I was mortified at the idea of leaving my comfort zone, opening up and sharing personal business with STRANGERS. I didn't talk much those first several meetings. A lot of times I still don't, unless I chair a meeting or get called on to read or share, but just sitting there, absorbing those years of wisdom from people who I now call my friends has opened up a new world to me.
I think there's a difference between being an introvert and the tendency to isolate because of fear and shame (which I also do).
Great post, thanks.

Ann

At the time when I went to my first meeting, I hadn't opened up to anyone, that was before my SR days and I had a ton of "stuff" bottled inside of me.

I just cried my first 3 meetings, I knew that I was finally among safe friendly people who actually would understand me and my life...and they did.

It was such an enormous relief to just open up and let it out...I didn't have to be careful what I said or how I said it because these people had all been there and were safe friends.

Meetings literally saved my life. I recommend them to anyone. Don't be afraid, there is nothing to fear.

I am so glad you found the courage to go, Hope, and I promise you that it gets even better over time.

Hugs

Turtle76

Another introvert here 😂 I also just started meetings after my ABF left for rehab. I was terrified to go, but so glad I did. I still haven't found the courage to speak. I definitely do bettter one on one than in groups when it comes to sharing. I agree with LadyS that there is also the shame factor. I think that is what was holding me back, more than the introvertedness. I wasn't even sharing my situation with close friends anf family. Now, I have opened up to some close friends and this is where my intovert qualities come into play. My very well meaning friends were trying to keep me busy and were calling to check in on my alot in the beginning. I was appreciative, but found it exhausting. I can only take so much time with others, before I need a break to "recharge." So, I've backed away a little, but need to be careful that I don't isolate.

Glad to see you are reaching out. It so much better than trying to "fix it " all alone. Continue to find the little joys in this journey.

hope778

I agree. Their guidance has shifted my focus and given such hope. I haven't spoken up much either yet. I feel like in early recovery there are so many emotions to try to process. I am not sure I can get them out in a way they make sense yet!

hope778

Thank you for the encouragement. I've learned that even if I don't feel like going, I never regret it. I always get something out of it and feel better afterward. I too hope it gets better over time and I continue to choose to lean on these individuals who have leaned on those before me.

hope778

I understand about needing to spend time alone recharging. That is me all the way. My mind easily gets cloudy if too overstimulated then processing thoughts is almost impossible. I also think part of my recovery plan will be meeting with a professional one on one. I do much better in that setting too! Wishing the best for you! Looks like we are in the same boat right now.

Jorgenss

A fellow introvert here, you are not alone in that area either!

hope778

Good to know Totally out of my comfort zone going to meetings, but I'm doing it! I haven't regretted it once yet.