How did it go for you?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 226
How did it go for you?
I'm wondering how reaching sobriety worked for others.
Was it years of trying or just one day you said no more?
What was your mentality? Did you have doubts in the beginning or did you convince yourself you could do it?
Before you quit was there a point that you just didn't think you could do it?
Did you live or stay with someone or do it by yourself in the beginning?
Did you smoke when you drank?
I'm struggling right now cause I feel like it's easy to make a plan but hard to implement it. I think maybe part of it is because my plan is always based around a phone or tablet for support and really I only lean on this forum (nothing against this forum it's great) and my one good friend. But her hours mean she's not available when that critical moment of getting home without buying more is key. I feel lonely alot and I think having someone in person may help. Maybe I just want to drink more than I want to quit. I mean I never stick to my plan and if I can't do that then I'm never gonna quit. I think it's had enough effect on my life I should want to quit more. I know a plan is crutial but not if I just throw it out the window. But I digress.
Was it years of trying or just one day you said no more?
What was your mentality? Did you have doubts in the beginning or did you convince yourself you could do it?
Before you quit was there a point that you just didn't think you could do it?
Did you live or stay with someone or do it by yourself in the beginning?
Did you smoke when you drank?
I'm struggling right now cause I feel like it's easy to make a plan but hard to implement it. I think maybe part of it is because my plan is always based around a phone or tablet for support and really I only lean on this forum (nothing against this forum it's great) and my one good friend. But her hours mean she's not available when that critical moment of getting home without buying more is key. I feel lonely alot and I think having someone in person may help. Maybe I just want to drink more than I want to quit. I mean I never stick to my plan and if I can't do that then I'm never gonna quit. I think it's had enough effect on my life I should want to quit more. I know a plan is crutial but not if I just throw it out the window. But I digress.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
I payed lip service to sobriety for over ten years. I obviously wasn't serious, as I never quit. But then I had a moment of clarity where I knew I had to quit drinking. Really needed to quit. So I did.
I drank two weeks later. After that I must have gotten serious about it, because I haven't drank in over five and a half years.
I don't know why you can't stick to your plan. It can't be any harder for you than it is for anyone else trying to quit. But when you are drinking, stopping seems impossible. When you quit, staying stopped is easier. You have to have faith that you can do it.
I drank two weeks later. After that I must have gotten serious about it, because I haven't drank in over five and a half years.
I don't know why you can't stick to your plan. It can't be any harder for you than it is for anyone else trying to quit. But when you are drinking, stopping seems impossible. When you quit, staying stopped is easier. You have to have faith that you can do it.
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Hi, Vendetta.
I tried for years. It was progressing and I knew it, but I just couldn't put a stop to it. In 2014-2015 things started to really get bad and I tried in earnest. I didn't think I could do it, and I relapsed both times after just a few weeks.
Then a DWI got me VERY serious. It was now or never. I finally coughed up the money and got real medical help. I still didn't think I could do it.
Even now I don't really believe I can...but I AM doing it, 18 days now and counting. But my mentality is that this is a fight to the death, and I'm going to give it my all. I adopted a warrior's mentality -- no softness or weakness. One of us will die -- addiction or me -- and it ain't gonna be me.
I don't have any super close relationships IRL right now so I'm in this alone, with help only from my treatment providers.
I've never smoked, so that's not part of the picture for me.
Can you go to a meeting after work instead of directly home? Make sure you don't have money or cards on you on the way home? Stay out until after the store closes?
I tried for years. It was progressing and I knew it, but I just couldn't put a stop to it. In 2014-2015 things started to really get bad and I tried in earnest. I didn't think I could do it, and I relapsed both times after just a few weeks.
Then a DWI got me VERY serious. It was now or never. I finally coughed up the money and got real medical help. I still didn't think I could do it.
Even now I don't really believe I can...but I AM doing it, 18 days now and counting. But my mentality is that this is a fight to the death, and I'm going to give it my all. I adopted a warrior's mentality -- no softness or weakness. One of us will die -- addiction or me -- and it ain't gonna be me.
I don't have any super close relationships IRL right now so I'm in this alone, with help only from my treatment providers.
I've never smoked, so that's not part of the picture for me.
Can you go to a meeting after work instead of directly home? Make sure you don't have money or cards on you on the way home? Stay out until after the store closes?
Thanks to the support of my friends here, I never gave up. I kept trying til I got it right. 
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
I spent about three years drinking and, in the last year, I knew I needed to stop. But, I always thought I could stop when I wanted to, I just didn't want to yet. The denial! Of course, I couldn't stop when I wanted to and, on the verge of losing everything, I stopped. I was mainly on my own, except for the books that showed me the way. After about 3 years of recovery, I found SR and have been here ever since.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I drank for many years - I wanted to stop for a long time but I wasn't putting any action behind that desire to change.
My life was about drinking. I needed to change my life.
That's a huge undertaking and it needed a lot of commitment and effort.
I needed a lot of support too.
It was tough but it remains the best thing I've ever done for myself, Vendetta.
D
My life was about drinking. I needed to change my life.
That's a huge undertaking and it needed a lot of commitment and effort.
I needed a lot of support too.
It was tough but it remains the best thing I've ever done for myself, Vendetta.
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I never thought I could quit. I certainly couldn't have done it on my own. I checked myself into detix then inpatient rehab. With support on the outside.
I've made a couple of friends in AA and I keep in touch. They understand. I come here daily, without exception. I do still smoke but I'm taking chantix and hoping I get the same urgency to quit smoking that I had to quit drinking. First things first. Drinking had to go.
You can do it.
I've made a couple of friends in AA and I keep in touch. They understand. I come here daily, without exception. I do still smoke but I'm taking chantix and hoping I get the same urgency to quit smoking that I had to quit drinking. First things first. Drinking had to go.
You can do it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 387
Don't want to be the fly in the ointment, but here it is: I started at age 17, realised I need to stop at age 18 and it has been over 20 years of little success. I managed 6 months once, 3 months a couple of time, etc. I'm not always trying, but I have been since May, when I finally educated myself and I managed about 6 weeks, then relapsed, and have been stuck on a 3 day cycle since then.
I stopped smoking nearly a decade ago. Cold turkey, no cravings. I wish I knew how I did it.
I'll tell you this though, I'm never going to stop trying. Ever. Two days sober and one day drinking is still far better than drinking everyday (and nobody flame me please, I am not advocating moderation, just saying that the journey to sobriety still feels better than daily drinking).
KP
I stopped smoking nearly a decade ago. Cold turkey, no cravings. I wish I knew how I did it.
I'll tell you this though, I'm never going to stop trying. Ever. Two days sober and one day drinking is still far better than drinking everyday (and nobody flame me please, I am not advocating moderation, just saying that the journey to sobriety still feels better than daily drinking).
KP
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 579
Was it years of trying or just one day you said no more? Years of wanting to quit or moderate and trying at times. Looking back never really tried seriously. A better statement would be: "do or do not, there is no try" Jedi Master Yoda 
Dec9 I woke up in a cold sweat and a panic that I could never quit. 50 days sober now.
What was your mentality? Desperate
Did you have doubts in the beginning or did you convince yourself you could do it? No and No. These things did not enter my head. I felt I had no choice. Do or die-there was only a strong fear of failure.
Before you quit was there a point that you just didn't think you could do it? Yes, I was never a daily drinker. After failing to quit or moderate I came to accept it was just a part of life. I never had a bad medical report so I just figure I would continue until I did. Besides I only got drunk 2 to 4 times a week.
Did you live or stay with someone or do it by yourself in the beginning? I went to AA Dec 9 on my own. Ultimately everyone quits by themselves, no one can do it for you. Getting help from others (AA & SR) was a big part of it for me.
Did you smoke when you drank? Yes and still do. I was told to wait a while before quitting smoking. It's on my list.
Dec9 I woke up in a cold sweat and a panic that I could never quit. 50 days sober now. What was your mentality? Desperate
Did you have doubts in the beginning or did you convince yourself you could do it? No and No. These things did not enter my head. I felt I had no choice. Do or die-there was only a strong fear of failure.
Before you quit was there a point that you just didn't think you could do it? Yes, I was never a daily drinker. After failing to quit or moderate I came to accept it was just a part of life. I never had a bad medical report so I just figure I would continue until I did. Besides I only got drunk 2 to 4 times a week.
Did you live or stay with someone or do it by yourself in the beginning? I went to AA Dec 9 on my own. Ultimately everyone quits by themselves, no one can do it for you. Getting help from others (AA & SR) was a big part of it for me.
Did you smoke when you drank? Yes and still do. I was told to wait a while before quitting smoking. It's on my list.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
You ask a lot of good questions in your OP. I never smoked when I drank. Before I quit I tended to be a binge drinker; binging every now and then... because of emotional pain and stress, depression, and insomnia. There were times when I just wanted to get drunk. I knew it was unhealthy, but I guess I was not in a good place. When I quit I just quit. I didn't have too bad of withdrawals; mainly insomnia and that was hard because insomnia was such a problem to begin with. But it started to get better and now it just gets better and better and better. I started counseling last year and told my therapist that the main reason I needed counseling was because of insomnia, depression, and stress.
So it's been a work in progress to address the issues. She challenged me quite a lot.
There are a lot of people who quit drinking independently. They just quit. My dad just quit and when people asked why he didn't drink anymore he shrugged his shoulders and said: "I had enough of it and don't want anymore, I guess." He quit in his forties and didn't look back.
So it's been a work in progress to address the issues. She challenged me quite a lot.
There are a lot of people who quit drinking independently. They just quit. My dad just quit and when people asked why he didn't drink anymore he shrugged his shoulders and said: "I had enough of it and don't want anymore, I guess." He quit in his forties and didn't look back.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 701
I was a 7-day-week drinker. I thought for many years that one day I would just learn to "moderate". Obviously that never happened! Then after routine blood tests, I found out my liver enzymes were slightly elevated. That made me really look at things differently, but not enough to quit drinking right then. Two RN's I was on a girl's "drinking trip" with told me to just stop drinking a couple of days before my follow-up test and I'd be "fine". I did that, and sure enough my test turned out good. How did I celebrate, you ask? By getting wasted with my RN friend and two other drinking buddies. Then it was back to my usual drinking self. I decided one night about 2 months later that I was only going to have a couple of glasses of wine. Like usual, I killed the bottle in no time. The next morning my "Ah ha" moment came. I decided that I had to quit. That was 17 months ago.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 874
The first time, I started cutting back one beer a night. And, I started pushing my start time an hour later every night - until I made it to midnight. I'd actually done 1 full day! I somehow used that to quit for about a year the relapsed for several years.
The second time I got really sick and went to the ER - the Dr. baker acted me and I was held in a detox for 72 hours before I was released. I was furious because they had no reason to do that, but look back on that as a forced sobering up and I was glad it happened. I later actually got a letter of apology later - they'd made a mistake and the baker acting was meant for another patient in that ER!! I stayed sober 12 months that time.
Last year, I wanted to quit and my daughter just made it happen. That was last Feb., she took a bottle out of my hand and that was that and poured it out. I knew it was an opportunity to quit and have some help, so I did not sneak out for any.
Do you have someone to "babysit" you for a night or two?
The second time I got really sick and went to the ER - the Dr. baker acted me and I was held in a detox for 72 hours before I was released. I was furious because they had no reason to do that, but look back on that as a forced sobering up and I was glad it happened. I later actually got a letter of apology later - they'd made a mistake and the baker acting was meant for another patient in that ER!! I stayed sober 12 months that time.
Last year, I wanted to quit and my daughter just made it happen. That was last Feb., she took a bottle out of my hand and that was that and poured it out. I knew it was an opportunity to quit and have some help, so I did not sneak out for any.
Do you have someone to "babysit" you for a night or two?
Alive in the Superunknown
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: 30.47ºN, 98.15ºW
Posts: 1,460
Originally Posted by chrcarlson 
Was it years of trying or just one day you said no more? Years of wanting to quit or moderate and trying at times. Looking back never really tried seriously. A better statement would be: "do or do not, there is no try" Jedi Master Yoda Dec9 I woke up in a cold sweat and a panic that I could never quit. 50 days sober now.
Dec9 I woke up in a cold sweat and a panic that I could never quit. 50 days sober now.You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Originally Posted by vendetta
..I wish I had someone to babysit me. I think if I could just beat a few days I would have it. I want it so bad.
If you can't do it alone, go into detox for a few days.
Reach out to AA and ask if they can connect you with a short-term sober companion. A sober companion is a babysitter who will remain with you to make sure you don't drink.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 226
I hope tomorrow I can post day 1 again. I even asked my friend if she would go to a AA meeting with me and she was firm with me about being serious but was glad to go. Ito hard for me to find but I'll search my posts where the link was gave to me.
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