Tired
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 58
Tired
I can't pull myself away from this site today. I'm reading so many posts that I could have written about myself. I'm finally sober after a 3 day bender. The anxiety, guilt, and embarrassment is at an all time high. I feel bloated and swollen and dried out. My lips are so chapped and sorry - my breath reeks. My hands are shaking, per the usual. I have no recollection of the weekend. I've let my family down again. I never thought it'd happen again, but now that it has, it's time to start moving forward. I need a plan. I don't want to be the chronic relapser with nothing to offer to our SR community. I appreciate any help, kind thoughts, and good vibes.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
You can do this. One day at a time. Set it in your mind that you don't drink, no matter what. Once you have that set, what actions will you take to follow through? Quitting is more than just talking about it. Or thinking about it. Quitting takes action. Keep posting. Put together a plan. Keep coming back. Even when you're feeling better. Keep posting and reading. Every day.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,323
Thank you for coming back and posting. I know how difficult it is, and i too have had multiple setbacks.
It really is about taking the action to keep yourself safe. If that means taking yourself away from situations/people/places/things that allow you access to alcohol you may consider that?
I know i took some measures such as giving up my wallet/cash to my parents/girlfriend...Going to AA meetings and talking about myself and how i'm feeling...Alot of support and guidance is offered but you have to WANT it!
Come to SR every day and post a sober commitment. This has helped me immensely this past year.
You're NOT alone in this. But you can do it. Just don't drink TODAY.
Findingtheway
It really is about taking the action to keep yourself safe. If that means taking yourself away from situations/people/places/things that allow you access to alcohol you may consider that?
I know i took some measures such as giving up my wallet/cash to my parents/girlfriend...Going to AA meetings and talking about myself and how i'm feeling...Alot of support and guidance is offered but you have to WANT it!
Come to SR every day and post a sober commitment. This has helped me immensely this past year.
You're NOT alone in this. But you can do it. Just don't drink TODAY.
Findingtheway
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Carrie you can do this. I too was (am? I hope not anymore) a chronic relapser. Shame filled day after shame filled day. It took a couple of things to get me out of the loop. One, I had to come to the bright realization that sobriety wasn't just going to be handed to me on a silver platter. It legitimately was going to suck for a while, there would be cravings to fight through (but I don't wanna fight…. wahhhhhhh!!!!), lifestyle changes (great, no more popping into the only freaking social outlet that I have), jealousy of those that could drink normally, tsunami's of emotions to deal with regarding things both big and small that I had always "opted out" of feeling/dealing with by drinking, along with a whole host of other small adjustments. It just isn't that pleasant to go through such a big shift and anytime the going got rough I bailed out via a binge. You just have to accept that some parts of this are going to be uncomfortable, annoying, difficult and well, if I'm honest, sad. But as you start to flow through it the bright spots start to call to you and make it easier to go on. You find and see something worth fighting for. In the beginning (even if you have experienced extended sobriety before) it is hard to see that.
The other thing for me was getting outside help. For whatever reason (I chalk it up to being a whiny baby) I couldn't manage alone. Not to imply that anyone who reaches out for help is a whiny baby, there are a whole host of reasons to seek help, but mine was for whiny baby purposes primarily… I digress. In any case, I went to an outpatient addiction center. I credit getting sober to several different strategies and techniques I learned from the center specialists as well as my fellow alcoholics here at SR. In addition to those techniques I chose to take advantage of prescription medication that helps lessen cravings. I found it enormously useful to give me that extra push. Throughout threads that mention medication there are always a few posts that seem to hint that medication is the easy way out or somehow cheating. You know what? While I might have a single second of "ugh, I am so weak and they are so strong" I quickly move on to "I don't give a sh*t" because I did what I had to do to save myself from the misery of being an active alcoholic. This isn't a chess tournament you know? You don't get kicked out or lose the prize for "cheating"
You need to get a plan together for yourself. You also need to accept the fact that not all of this will be fun. But I assure you with all of my heart that some of it will be fun, and it only gets better.
The other thing for me was getting outside help. For whatever reason (I chalk it up to being a whiny baby) I couldn't manage alone. Not to imply that anyone who reaches out for help is a whiny baby, there are a whole host of reasons to seek help, but mine was for whiny baby purposes primarily… I digress. In any case, I went to an outpatient addiction center. I credit getting sober to several different strategies and techniques I learned from the center specialists as well as my fellow alcoholics here at SR. In addition to those techniques I chose to take advantage of prescription medication that helps lessen cravings. I found it enormously useful to give me that extra push. Throughout threads that mention medication there are always a few posts that seem to hint that medication is the easy way out or somehow cheating. You know what? While I might have a single second of "ugh, I am so weak and they are so strong" I quickly move on to "I don't give a sh*t" because I did what I had to do to save myself from the misery of being an active alcoholic. This isn't a chess tournament you know? You don't get kicked out or lose the prize for "cheating"
You need to get a plan together for yourself. You also need to accept the fact that not all of this will be fun. But I assure you with all of my heart that some of it will be fun, and it only gets better.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
You've already helped someone with your posts, me. By reminding me what it's like 'out there'.
Five years one month sober. You can do it, too. Remember what triggered you. Remember how you feel now and realize you never have to feel this way again.
Best to you.
Five years one month sober. You can do it, too. Remember what triggered you. Remember how you feel now and realize you never have to feel this way again.
Best to you.
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