Tired of being regretful
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 89
Tired of being regretful
Hi All,
Almost 48 hours since my last drink.
My problem is not that I cannot go days, weeks, or even months without drinking. It lies in the fact that I cannot stop once I start. And that I end up making a fool of myself each time I drink.
And so it happens almost invariably every time I drink, that I do things that I deeply regret the next morning, things which I may not even have any memory of doing once I am sober.
I am a mean drunk, and I vent out rather easily when I am intoxicated.
The ritual of checking my phone after a night of drinking- those few moments are heart racing- hoping, begging that I hadn't texted something stupid to someone.
I want to put an end to this mess I find myself in. I want to wake up guilt-free, happy and knowing that I haven't done anything idiotic the night before.
Any input / advice is much appreciated.
Thank you.
Almost 48 hours since my last drink.
My problem is not that I cannot go days, weeks, or even months without drinking. It lies in the fact that I cannot stop once I start. And that I end up making a fool of myself each time I drink.
And so it happens almost invariably every time I drink, that I do things that I deeply regret the next morning, things which I may not even have any memory of doing once I am sober.
I am a mean drunk, and I vent out rather easily when I am intoxicated.
The ritual of checking my phone after a night of drinking- those few moments are heart racing- hoping, begging that I hadn't texted something stupid to someone.
I want to put an end to this mess I find myself in. I want to wake up guilt-free, happy and knowing that I haven't done anything idiotic the night before.
Any input / advice is much appreciated.
Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
I know how you feel, I drank this way too xoxo
Once started keep going, blackout, then I would try to piece together to previous night....... Not fun.
Xoxo
Just keep going, it becomes normal after a while to say to no to drinking
Once started keep going, blackout, then I would try to piece together to previous night....... Not fun.
Xoxo
Just keep going, it becomes normal after a while to say to no to drinking
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Stick around on SR, there is a ton of support, and most of us aren't able to say no to that second drink once we have the first, I know I haven't been able to. I have had stretches of sobriety, and eight now I am on Day 9 and determined that this will be a sober year for me.
I know that I need to have a plan to occupy the time I would have been drinking. I have been exercising, reading, doing things with family, and I have a sober buddy who I am checking in with several times a day (we are both committed to sticking with sobriety this time!)
I am far from an expert, and have screwed up many times, but I really want sobriety, and I like waking up not feeling like crap and trying to muddle through the day.
The first days are the hardest, and you are already past the first two! You can do this!!!:-)
I know that I need to have a plan to occupy the time I would have been drinking. I have been exercising, reading, doing things with family, and I have a sober buddy who I am checking in with several times a day (we are both committed to sticking with sobriety this time!)
I am far from an expert, and have screwed up many times, but I really want sobriety, and I like waking up not feeling like crap and trying to muddle through the day.
The first days are the hardest, and you are already past the first two! You can do this!!!:-)
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 89
Thanks for your replies.
The last couple of years have been nothing but one long binge for me. Frankly, I am surprised that I have managed everything else in my life the way I have.
But it's beginning to finally catch up with me now, and the need to stop is becoming more and more apparent.
Planning on taking it one day at a time, and I'll do well to remain sober for the rest of 2016.
The last couple of years have been nothing but one long binge for me. Frankly, I am surprised that I have managed everything else in my life the way I have.
But it's beginning to finally catch up with me now, and the need to stop is becoming more and more apparent.
Planning on taking it one day at a time, and I'll do well to remain sober for the rest of 2016.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Rf,
Hi and welcome. You found the place the can save your life.
It did mine.
Having a friend to talk to about this problem is a gift.
We drunks love to talk about booze. Normies don't.
I talk here. I've been to a few AA meetings and sharing is limited and awkward during the meeting. After is ok, but most people have lives and giddyup.
I get red flags anyway when a person is to talky when I first meet them. So...it takes time.
But here, I can type till my thumbs are sore. I can read till my eyes are dry. It feels right.
Ask questions...read up. Get well.
Hi and welcome. You found the place the can save your life.
It did mine.
Having a friend to talk to about this problem is a gift.
We drunks love to talk about booze. Normies don't.
I talk here. I've been to a few AA meetings and sharing is limited and awkward during the meeting. After is ok, but most people have lives and giddyup.
I get red flags anyway when a person is to talky when I first meet them. So...it takes time.
But here, I can type till my thumbs are sore. I can read till my eyes are dry. It feels right.
Ask questions...read up. Get well.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Welcome RegretFree!
I was one hot mess of regret when drinking. The only way I could reclaim my life was to put the alcohol down.
I've never "regretted" that decision.
Stick around, SR was a life saver for me.
We're here for you!
I was one hot mess of regret when drinking. The only way I could reclaim my life was to put the alcohol down.
I've never "regretted" that decision.
Stick around, SR was a life saver for me.
We're here for you!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
Gosh, I remember those heart-pounding searches through my phone to see what I had done the previous night. What a horrible way to start a day.
You don't have to go through that anymore.
You don't have to go through that anymore.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 341
The morning after is the worst, especially when you remember bits & pieces of the night, and it makes your heart beat out of your chest, ugh. I would just lay there mortified some mornings.
I can never just have a couple drinks, there's no stopping me once I start, and the strange thing is, the rational me is aware of it at the time (slow down!!) but the AV totally ignores that voice until it disappears.
Congrats on 48 hours, that's a great start.
I can never just have a couple drinks, there's no stopping me once I start, and the strange thing is, the rational me is aware of it at the time (slow down!!) but the AV totally ignores that voice until it disappears.
Congrats on 48 hours, that's a great start.
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