New Here, and sad on Christmas
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 2
New Here, and sad on Christmas
I'm married to an alcoholic. We have a business together and there is no escaping his nastiness. I finally broke down and signed up for this forum because today, Christmas, he spent most of the day getting trashed in our basement, crying and being nasty. The rest of my family sat uncomfortably upstairs with me. I can't take this anymore.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,783
Welcome to the family. 
I am sorry for what brought you here. Have you ever gone to AlAnon? They can give you support for your situation. We also have a 'friends and family' forum here you might find helpful.
I hope you can find some peace in your life.
I am sorry for what brought you here. Have you ever gone to AlAnon? They can give you support for your situation. We also have a 'friends and family' forum here you might find helpful.I hope you can find some peace in your life.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Lt,
Welcome and good for you for reaching out. I owned a restaurant with my AXH for 22 years and I know it might be difficult to leave. I use to tell my X that I was taking a night class, because he would never "let" me attend alanon. After 34 years together we divorced last year. One of the last things he said to me was that "alanon was the last nail in the coffin for our divorce."
He hated it because I was "slowly healing" and he wasn't. Go to the friends and Family forum. There is a lot of stickies you can read about helping yourself.
Hugs my friend, and there is hope for all of us.
Welcome and good for you for reaching out. I owned a restaurant with my AXH for 22 years and I know it might be difficult to leave. I use to tell my X that I was taking a night class, because he would never "let" me attend alanon. After 34 years together we divorced last year. One of the last things he said to me was that "alanon was the last nail in the coffin for our divorce."
He hated it because I was "slowly healing" and he wasn't. Go to the friends and Family forum. There is a lot of stickies you can read about helping yourself.
Hugs my friend, and there is hope for all of us.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,203
Glad you are reaching out Lucky Trigger.
Try and have the best Christmas you can despite him.
There is only so much a partner can take - it sounds like you are at the point where you have to put yourself and any children you may have first
Try and have the best Christmas you can despite him.
There is only so much a partner can take - it sounds like you are at the point where you have to put yourself and any children you may have first
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
That sucks.
Having been an alcoholic in denial of the impact to a spouse, I cringe at stories like yours.
Maybe he will come around to sobriety one day. Maybe he won't. Unfortunately, that's something beyond your control.
You have found a great place to get yourself some support and understanding, as well as education. Coming here is a fantastic first step to taking care of YOU - which is where your focus needs to be when you're in relationship with a person struggling with addiction.
Welcome.
Having been an alcoholic in denial of the impact to a spouse, I cringe at stories like yours.
Maybe he will come around to sobriety one day. Maybe he won't. Unfortunately, that's something beyond your control.
You have found a great place to get yourself some support and understanding, as well as education. Coming here is a fantastic first step to taking care of YOU - which is where your focus needs to be when you're in relationship with a person struggling with addiction.
Welcome.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
Welcome to SR,
I'm sorry that you had to deal with that.
I was once that person. Drinking till black out on a day that should have been spent with family and friends. By the grace of God, I'm free.
There is always hope.
Use this site and the wisdom you can gain here to try and make your life better. So glad you found your way here.
I'm sorry that you had to deal with that.
I was once that person. Drinking till black out on a day that should have been spent with family and friends. By the grace of God, I'm free.
There is always hope.
Use this site and the wisdom you can gain here to try and make your life better. So glad you found your way here.
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