blueberry2015

Deal with someone who is drunk and argumentitive? Its my mum, shes been drinking since early afternoon now has started on the vodka.... Ive tried to be so calm with her, ive ended the conversation twice but keeps calling me back. I cant hack this right now. Mum can be vulnerable when shes had too much, its a hard act to juggle as if she thinks I dont want to talk to her that will esculate.... Ive said I will talk to her tomorrow, shes not happy. Feel like my head is going to explode. Ive taken some herbal remedy to calm myself down.

Opivotal

I would suggest NOT dealing with her. Don't answer any more of her calls. Most likely she won't remember anything of the conversation tomorrow.

Take care of yourself blueberry.

Free7777

Just leave - she's an adult

Saskia

Definitely don't answer her calls. I know that can be hard for some of us to do. When I finally got up the guts to do that, my life became more manageable.

DoubleFelix

I agree with Opivotal and Free; talking to someone who is drunk and argumentative is next to impossible, they're just not in the space to listen. I think the best way to deal is to take space for yourself and check in with them later. I know this is easier said than done.

Sorry you're in a tough spot, blue. I've had to deal with a drunk parent before too and know how tough it can be.

PurpleKnight

Be assertive, only talk to your mum and tell her you're only going to talk to her when she's Sober.

It's a reasonable request that I used to always state to my dad.

There is not somehow some free licence to say whatever or act however you want just because you're a parent!!

Hang in there Blue!!

Soberwolf

I second Op's post don't answer your phone I'm sorry this is happening Blue

Here if you want to talk rant etc

Sean30

I've been there very recently drunk on the phone calling those close to me again and again. They dealt with it by not answering my calls. There's no reasoning with someone drinking. In the morning when she sobers up is the time to talk. Good luck mate

blueberry2015

Thanks x I tried to get to a meeting tonight but having battling with a one way system and nowhere to park im back home again - she called four times when I was out. My son answered and told her to stop calling.

Its so hard as something like this is a trigger, but actually a little drive around has done me good. Im just gonna tell everyone in the household not to answer the phone, we've caller display so that helps.

Ive told her in the past not to call me when shes been drinking but alas that all gets forgotten about..... I really dont need this tbh. I cant handle it.

Last call was about 40 mins now, so hopefully thats the last of it for this evening!

dcg

On phone? Either don't pick up, or answer and put the phone on mute and watch tv and occasionally pick up the phone to say, "oh, okay" and rinse & repeat until they hang up.

Healthygoals

I agree with everyone else. As hard as it is, don't pick up the phone. I love caller ID for that reason!

FreeOwl

The three most effective ways to deal with a drunk are;

don't engage with them, just get away.

choke them out
(this method should only be attempted by individuals trained in proper technique and as a last resort to protect themselves or others)

handcuff them
(this method should only be employed by law enforcement)

PurpleKnight

There is no harm in answering a phone, saying "you've been drinking, I'm not talking to you unless your Sober" and hanging up the phone.

Putting a few boundaries in there is the only way forward!!

Berrybean

Yep - and explain you're unplugging to phone for the rest of the evening, and that you love her and will talk tomorrow if she's sober and wants to.