Day 18
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 113
Day 18
Day 18 is done and I'm finding AV is creeping in more and more and the struggle is becoming more difficult. But I'm staying strong. No, I cannot ever moderate my drinking. Why do I keep playing that conversation in my head that maybe I can be stronger next time and just drink without becoming mean and causing hangovers. Ugh. I want that voice to shut up!
I rejoined my gym and plan to go often especially for Zumba class where I can release lots of stress.
Thank goodness for SR and M&Ms.
I rejoined my gym and plan to go often especially for Zumba class where I can release lots of stress.
Thank goodness for SR and M&Ms.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 290
Hi DaisyBee, congratulations on 18 days!
The conversation that keeps replaying inside your head that you could do things differently is probably universal in early recovery. I don't know anyone who 'sucessfully' changed from alcoholic to controlled drinking - there seems to be a line that we cross somewhere in our drinking careers and there is no way back. Your addicted voice will try everything to focus in on the good times but ignore the misery alcohol caused.
But you are aware of whats happening and even more importantly talking about it which is great - that more than anything will help you through it. You can do this...its so worth it!
Good luck with the Zumba
The conversation that keeps replaying inside your head that you could do things differently is probably universal in early recovery. I don't know anyone who 'sucessfully' changed from alcoholic to controlled drinking - there seems to be a line that we cross somewhere in our drinking careers and there is no way back. Your addicted voice will try everything to focus in on the good times but ignore the misery alcohol caused.
But you are aware of whats happening and even more importantly talking about it which is great - that more than anything will help you through it. You can do this...its so worth it!
Good luck with the Zumba
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Margate, UK
Posts: 549
Hi, I was the same at 18 days. Still am sometimes at 115 days. But you've got to keep in mind what it was like when you were drinking.
You're doing it! You're free from the routine of getting drunk! That's amazing
Now you've just got to keep fighting the AV. M & Ms and gym are good
You're doing it! You're free from the routine of getting drunk! That's amazing
Now you've just got to keep fighting the AV. M & Ms and gym are good
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 113
I had a very vivid dream las night that I drank and had to start over with another Day 1. I'm so grateful it was only a dream!
My plan:
1. Visit/post at SR daily
2. Home is an alcohol free zone
3. Tangible rewards at milestone dates (new hair treatment was for 14 day, new handbag at 30, etc)
4. Avoid all drinking friends and social gatherings for first 90 days then reassess
5. Each day, Focus only on not drinking TODAY
6. Accountable to my husband and dearest friend
7. Eat as many M&Ms as necessary to curb cravings
8. Exercise 3 times per week
9. New "go to" drink when out is soda and cranberry with lime
10. Never forget what it feels like to wake up hung over and filled with anxiety and dread while parched and soaking of sweat without any memory of the night before.
This is how I've stayed sober so far. It's taken a lot of effort. I'm encouraged by others who are ahead of me blazing the sober trail. It gives me hope.
My plan:
1. Visit/post at SR daily
2. Home is an alcohol free zone
3. Tangible rewards at milestone dates (new hair treatment was for 14 day, new handbag at 30, etc)
4. Avoid all drinking friends and social gatherings for first 90 days then reassess
5. Each day, Focus only on not drinking TODAY
6. Accountable to my husband and dearest friend
7. Eat as many M&Ms as necessary to curb cravings
8. Exercise 3 times per week
9. New "go to" drink when out is soda and cranberry with lime
10. Never forget what it feels like to wake up hung over and filled with anxiety and dread while parched and soaking of sweat without any memory of the night before.
This is how I've stayed sober so far. It's taken a lot of effort. I'm encouraged by others who are ahead of me blazing the sober trail. It gives me hope.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
Daisy,
I think we have a lot in common based on your threads.
Like many here, I had the hardest time accepting that I could abstain but could not control. Still struggle with that, but its true.
So I have come to think of it like being a diabetic -- everyone else can eat sugar but not me.
Not always easy, not always nice, but those are the facts, so deal with it Dorothy.
When I quit smoking 35 years ago, the key was that I never wanted to have to quit again. With drinking, the withdrawal was not as painful, so this was not as strong a message at fist, but now, I am there.
Hang in, it will get easier, then harder, then easier, then at some point it will just be.
I think we have a lot in common based on your threads.
Like many here, I had the hardest time accepting that I could abstain but could not control. Still struggle with that, but its true.
So I have come to think of it like being a diabetic -- everyone else can eat sugar but not me.
Not always easy, not always nice, but those are the facts, so deal with it Dorothy.
When I quit smoking 35 years ago, the key was that I never wanted to have to quit again. With drinking, the withdrawal was not as painful, so this was not as strong a message at fist, but now, I am there.
Hang in, it will get easier, then harder, then easier, then at some point it will just be.
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