The What-If List....
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Join Date: Jan 2014
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The What-If List....
I got a text message from my Dad tonight....
it's the anniversary of his father's death.... 48 years ago... the Grandad I never knew.
Dad was lamenting in that message.... what if his Dad hadn't died so young. What if he'd had his Dad's influence around. What if he'd not gone off in so many destructive directions in his own life. What if he'd been a better Dad....
I texted him back my own view of my loss... my own wondering what-if I'd gotten to know my Grandad... what if my Dad had been around more... what if I'd had those men in my life to guide me.... what if I'd not spent so much of my life so far as destructively as I have.
But then I also said but what if we turned our what-if's to the things that can actually matter. What if's in the rearview mirror are a never-ending rabbit hole of regret that is pointless. What if's looking back on remembered events can never change anything.
What if we embraced living our lives as deeply as possible - starting RIGHT NOW.
What if the next fifty years we focus on making each day count for all it can.
What if we were grateful for our time together with family, friends, the meaningful moments together in our lives TODAY, tomorrow, every day to come.
What if we said I love you more often.
What if we said "I love YOU" - to OURSELVES. Right now.
What if we what if to the horizon - instead of to the bygone scenes we cannot replay.
What's on YOUR what if list?
it's the anniversary of his father's death.... 48 years ago... the Grandad I never knew.
Dad was lamenting in that message.... what if his Dad hadn't died so young. What if he'd had his Dad's influence around. What if he'd not gone off in so many destructive directions in his own life. What if he'd been a better Dad....
I texted him back my own view of my loss... my own wondering what-if I'd gotten to know my Grandad... what if my Dad had been around more... what if I'd had those men in my life to guide me.... what if I'd not spent so much of my life so far as destructively as I have.
But then I also said but what if we turned our what-if's to the things that can actually matter. What if's in the rearview mirror are a never-ending rabbit hole of regret that is pointless. What if's looking back on remembered events can never change anything.
What if we embraced living our lives as deeply as possible - starting RIGHT NOW.
What if the next fifty years we focus on making each day count for all it can.
What if we were grateful for our time together with family, friends, the meaningful moments together in our lives TODAY, tomorrow, every day to come.
What if we said I love you more often.
What if we said "I love YOU" - to OURSELVES. Right now.
What if we what if to the horizon - instead of to the bygone scenes we cannot replay.
What's on YOUR what if list?
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
This is a really good thought, FreeOwl. You're full of great messages lately! Is it the lamp, or the VitD?
I recently read a book called, "The Toltec Way" and one of the exercises in the book is to stand in front of a mirror and say, "I love you," every day. She also suggests saying, "I'm sorry. Thank you. I forgive you." Powerful exercise, even though it feels odd the first couple times.
I think it is along the lines of fake it till you make it, or act "as if."
I recently read a book called, "The Toltec Way" and one of the exercises in the book is to stand in front of a mirror and say, "I love you," every day. She also suggests saying, "I'm sorry. Thank you. I forgive you." Powerful exercise, even though it feels odd the first couple times.
I think it is along the lines of fake it till you make it, or act "as if."
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
You read that book? Ha. The "recapitulation" exercise and some of the meditations I still do. That mirror thing is pretty cool, who knew?
I didn't do the massive step work she outlined. Easier softer way, and all that. The writing of and understanding of all past events. It's exactly like 12 Step stuff, though.
I didn't do the massive step work she outlined. Easier softer way, and all that. The writing of and understanding of all past events. It's exactly like 12 Step stuff, though.
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