sickk&tired

I've been reading through posts this morning, and have been wondering a lot of stuff I was hoping someone could help me with.

I'm on day 16 of sobriety, and have now been in various situations where there was drinking going on all around me. I've abstained and been fine with it, but as I was watching "normal" drinkers drink, I started wondering: what is the difference between them and me? Do they really have a drink while not obsessing about the next one? Do they really ENJOY the taste of the drink, and would rather have a milder fruity drink other than the straight shot of whatever? How come they know how to stop, and I don't?

Also, I've read over and over again that I should stay away from people that drink........but everyone i know drinks, to some extent. I have my heavy drinking friends that I am consciously staying away from, but then there's everyone else: those friends that have get togethers where 10 people split 2 bottles of wine. Am I supposed to steer clear of them too? That will leave me and my plant.

I guess I'm just frustrated as hell, I'm doing this one day at a time and its working, but I'm still SO MAD THAT I CAN'T DRINK LIKE THEM!! How come they get to be buzzed and I can't, because it will lead to more? WHy are they able to control themselves? HOW are they able to control themselves?

I'm sorry I'm so whiny, I'm just really pissed of all of a sudden and feel like if I don't let it out I will start kicking people here at work. Meh.

kckman

s&t, I really cant answer any of your questions regarding why they can drink and I cant. I have to make my own choices. I know for sure once I get started drinking that is what I am going to do. It is better for me to choose to abstain. I have to live with that. Hey if you need to kick someone at work I am sure you know someone who needs a good kick. Go ahead if it makes you feel better. Just remember for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. good luck, congrats on being on sober day 16.

sweeks

Hey S&T....I'm sorry that your having a hard time. I don't really have any advice I just wanted to pop in and give you a hug.

Dan

I still get angry sometimes when I see people enjoying red wine with a fine pasta dinner. But it quickly dissipates, and I think it's because I finally accepted the fact that I can't stop after just a glass or two.
And truly accepting that was not an easy thing for me...
I envied them the buzz for a long time. But I made peace with myself over time.
It's all about, for me anyway, keeping in mind what happens when I drink, and being realistic and honest about the outcome. I tried, and tried and tried to drink in a so called normal fashion. I don't have that in me.
So today, I hang on to that precious acceptance, and I use it to deflate angry sentiments about others drinking when I'm with them.
I have more of a social life now than I ever did when I was still getting loaded.
16 days eh...
Wonderful!

junem

As an alcoholic I can never grasp the drinking habits of the social drinker. I WOULD FEELING VERY UNSATISFIED if I drank **** them.. I also cannot understand why seeing unlike me who cannot drink, they pass up on a drink when it is offered. It is an alcoholic's inability to understand such things.

JenniBooty

Congrats on day 16.

I just wanted to let you know that your doing really great.

sickk&tired

THank you all who posted....I've calmed down a bit, I guess its not a matter of finding answers to these questions, its just a matter of accepting that the fact is that I am not a normal drinker, or ever will be.

I guess its just hard to imagine that there are peoplw who when they see any kind of alcohol they don't immediately wanting it more than anything. And while I've been passing on drinks for the last 16 days, it still bewilders me that while I'm passing b/c it could kill me, people actually pass on drinking innocently b/c they don't feel like it.

I was also reflecting today on the days where alcohol didn't control my life....when I did stop after i felt I had too much, or when not drinking for a 24 hour period wasn't a struggle.

Thanks for listening. =)

lulu70

Hey S&T--Congratulations on Day 16!! That is totally awesome!!!

As far as being angry about other people being able to drink when I can't, I think you hit what has been bothering me right on the nose. I actually came to somewhat of a solution for myself as I was thinking about what I could say to you. Funny how we can help people and not even know it. Anyway, many people look at alcoholism as an allergy. If I think about it that way, it makes it easier for me to accept that I cannot drink like other people. Just like a diabetic has to watch what they eat and take their insulin. I need to not drink and work a program of recovery.

I really can't believe I had forgotten this simple way of thinking. Thanks for helping.

(The allergy thing is an easy way to explain to people why you are not drinking as well. "I can't drink alcohol because I am allergic. It makes me sick." It's the truth, after all!)

Love and hugs--

sickk&tired

Hi Lulu-

You're so right! I mean I've thought of the allergy thing before, but not for too long. It does help to think of it as being parallel to a diabetic not being able to have sugar......thank you for giving me a new perspective!

I'm still mad, but not as much =).

Dan

And I'm sure your co-workers are relieved