New here...
Sober since 1st January 2016
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 58
New here...
Hi,
I've abused alcohol for 20 years now, I'm 38. I went through all of the clubbing in the 90s and done loads of Coke and ecstasy back then. I don't really do drugs now. Recently I've got to the point where if I have more than say 3 drinks, i can't consciously stop until I pass out. If there isn't enough alcohol in the house I either go out and get some (drunk driving) - or have to binge on food before I can sleep (very rare as I always have loads of wine!). I probably do this twice a week minimum.
I've got a couple of family members who are really sick at the moment so I've tried to stop drinking so I can be there all the time, and I can, for a week or so... Then some other person inside my mind persuades me that getting blotto is a very good idea because "I deserve it", and that ****** up logic gets me back to square one.
So - How do you break through the barrier of a few weeks and make it permanent? I've got a great job and am pretty fit but I have to battle these drink binges just to keep the status quo.. I can't grow as a person in any meaningful way, and I get depressed when I'm trying to be strong for my family.
Any thoughts, ideas would be wonderful. I feel so close to sorting things out once and for all - but always fall short
Cheers,
PS: some of the stories on here are truly inspiring, I fully intend to have one myself soon! X X
I've abused alcohol for 20 years now, I'm 38. I went through all of the clubbing in the 90s and done loads of Coke and ecstasy back then. I don't really do drugs now. Recently I've got to the point where if I have more than say 3 drinks, i can't consciously stop until I pass out. If there isn't enough alcohol in the house I either go out and get some (drunk driving) - or have to binge on food before I can sleep (very rare as I always have loads of wine!). I probably do this twice a week minimum.
I've got a couple of family members who are really sick at the moment so I've tried to stop drinking so I can be there all the time, and I can, for a week or so... Then some other person inside my mind persuades me that getting blotto is a very good idea because "I deserve it", and that ****** up logic gets me back to square one.
So - How do you break through the barrier of a few weeks and make it permanent? I've got a great job and am pretty fit but I have to battle these drink binges just to keep the status quo.. I can't grow as a person in any meaningful way, and I get depressed when I'm trying to be strong for my family.
Any thoughts, ideas would be wonderful. I feel so close to sorting things out once and for all - but always fall short
Cheers,
PS: some of the stories on here are truly inspiring, I fully intend to have one myself soon! X X
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Welcome, Gerd 
For me, it took a decision. I wanted to be sober and experience life in a different way than I had been as a drinker. I had to commit to it. And to renew that commit daily if necessary, multiple times daily even.
It's a hard habit but it certainly can be broken. You can pick a specific program, or take elements from many programs (AA, SMART, LifeRing, AVRT/RR, Women For Sobriety). Some only come here to SR and that is their main form of support. Really just depends on you, and what you need and want.
Congrats on your desire to get sober. You've found a great community here and a load of resources to uncover
For me, it took a decision. I wanted to be sober and experience life in a different way than I had been as a drinker. I had to commit to it. And to renew that commit daily if necessary, multiple times daily even.
It's a hard habit but it certainly can be broken. You can pick a specific program, or take elements from many programs (AA, SMART, LifeRing, AVRT/RR, Women For Sobriety). Some only come here to SR and that is their main form of support. Really just depends on you, and what you need and want.
Congrats on your desire to get sober. You've found a great community here and a load of resources to uncover
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi and welcome Gerd
Honestly just posting here daily helped me break that cycle.
It was a lot harder for me to look at that drink as something I 'deserved', when I could read in black and white how self destructive it was for me, and others.
When you get cravings, or you run into stress, or whatever your triggers are - post here first - we'll help get you through
D
Honestly just posting here daily helped me break that cycle.
It was a lot harder for me to look at that drink as something I 'deserved', when I could read in black and white how self destructive it was for me, and others.
When you get cravings, or you run into stress, or whatever your triggers are - post here first - we'll help get you through
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by GerdMuller 
Hi,
I've abused alcohol for 20 years now, I'm 38. I went through all of the clubbing in the 90s and done loads of Coke and ecstasy back then. I don't really do drugs now. Recently I've got to the point where if I have more than say 3 drinks, i can't consciously stop until I pass out. If there isn't enough alcohol in the house I either go out and get some (drunk driving) - or have to binge on food before I can sleep (very rare as I always have loads of wine!). I probably do this twice a week minimum.
I've got a couple of family members who are really sick at the moment so I've tried to stop drinking so I can be there all the time, and I can, for a week or so... Then some other person inside my mind persuades me that getting blotto is a very good idea because "I deserve it", and that ****** up logic gets me back to square one.
So - How do you break through the barrier of a few weeks and make it permanent? I've got a great job and am pretty fit but I have to battle these drink binges just to keep the status quo.. I can't grow as a person in any meaningful way, and I get depressed when I'm trying to be strong for my family.
Any thoughts, ideas would be wonderful. I feel so close to sorting things out once and for all - but always fall short
Cheers,
PS: some of the stories on here are truly inspiring, I fully intend to have one myself soon! X X
I've abused alcohol for 20 years now, I'm 38. I went through all of the clubbing in the 90s and done loads of Coke and ecstasy back then. I don't really do drugs now. Recently I've got to the point where if I have more than say 3 drinks, i can't consciously stop until I pass out. If there isn't enough alcohol in the house I either go out and get some (drunk driving) - or have to binge on food before I can sleep (very rare as I always have loads of wine!). I probably do this twice a week minimum.
I've got a couple of family members who are really sick at the moment so I've tried to stop drinking so I can be there all the time, and I can, for a week or so... Then some other person inside my mind persuades me that getting blotto is a very good idea because "I deserve it", and that ****** up logic gets me back to square one.
So - How do you break through the barrier of a few weeks and make it permanent? I've got a great job and am pretty fit but I have to battle these drink binges just to keep the status quo.. I can't grow as a person in any meaningful way, and I get depressed when I'm trying to be strong for my family.
Any thoughts, ideas would be wonderful. I feel so close to sorting things out once and for all - but always fall short
Cheers,
PS: some of the stories on here are truly inspiring, I fully intend to have one myself soon! X X
boy, you're tellin my story in so many ways....
Getting through those weeks for me was about;
1 - making a firm and total decision and not allowing any more loopholes
2 - making active changes in my routine to support my choice of sobriety
3 - supporting my sobriety with active DAILY recovery (AA, SR, Therapy)
4 - Having a plan ahead of time - how would I respond in situations when offered alcohol, what would I do INSTEAD when I felt a craving, what was my specific non-alcoholic drink of choice, etc.
Stick here and read and post and learn and embrace it all... you can shift your life for the better!
Sober since 1st January 2016
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 58
Wow thanks guys. So much support in such a short amount of time. I've been reading a load of stuff on the site and there are so many, "that's me right there" moments it's ridiculous.
I'll try and do it this time by posting here every day and trying some of the things people are discussing.
Everyone mentions AA though, is it really possible to go permanent sober without AA? I just don't think I could go to meetings, not yet anyway. Thing is, it looks like it's the only way if you're really serious about quitting?
I've already tried Alan Carr, Craig Beck, Liz Hemingway etc. They get you motivated for a while, but then you fall off the wagon. It's not so much that I feel my willpower gets exhausted, it's more I just push sobrietary down the list of my priorities in favour of having a good time. And yeah, that 'good time' is miserably sitting there abusing people on Facebook (for example) whilst in a blackout. The next morning is always time to squirm!!
I'll try and do it this time by posting here every day and trying some of the things people are discussing.
Everyone mentions AA though, is it really possible to go permanent sober without AA? I just don't think I could go to meetings, not yet anyway. Thing is, it looks like it's the only way if you're really serious about quitting?
I've already tried Alan Carr, Craig Beck, Liz Hemingway etc. They get you motivated for a while, but then you fall off the wagon. It's not so much that I feel my willpower gets exhausted, it's more I just push sobrietary down the list of my priorities in favour of having a good time. And yeah, that 'good time' is miserably sitting there abusing people on Facebook (for example) whilst in a blackout. The next morning is always time to squirm!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 74
Gerd- I have been thru treatment a couple of times- had to do AA for a while- I can honestly say I learned a lot thru AA, I worked the steps, but eventually found it to be depressing, of sorts. You just have to find- by experimenting with various methods, what will really work for you. I am currently reading "Rational Recovery" by Jack Trimpey- & it really works for me! But, like I said- you will have to figure out what will work best for you- to get & stay sober! You will find lots of good support, advice here! Best of luck!
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Reading the Big Book helped me, especially the part in the back with all the personal stories. I don't like everything in it. It's similar to the Bible, imo, in that there's wisdom and truth in it, but not all of it is something I'd embrace for myself. I read it mostly out of curiosity, and out of desperation, and a desire to make a change. I thought that if I were truly ready for change, and truly open-minded (as I claimed to be), then I should be willing to consider all options.
It might be that you'll benefit from a customized approach. Many of us have.
Many have quit with and without AA, but I do think you have to be serious to quit, yes. Motivation to quit seems to be the key, no matter the program.
It might be that you'll benefit from a customized approach. Many of us have.
Many have quit with and without AA, but I do think you have to be serious to quit, yes. Motivation to quit seems to be the key, no matter the program.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
Originally Posted by GerdMuller
Everyone mentions AA though, is it really possible to go permanent sober without AA? I just don't think I could go to meetings, not yet anyway. Thing is, it looks like it's the only way if you're really serious about quitting?
Sober since 1st January 2016
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 58
Originally Posted by ladyboo
Gerd- I have been thru treatment a couple of times- had to do AA for a while- I can honestly say I learned a lot thru AA, I worked the steps, but eventually found it to be depressing, of sorts. You just have to find- by experimenting with various methods, what will really work for you. I am currently reading "Rational Recovery" by Jack Trimpey- & it really works for me! But, like I said- you will have to figure out what will work best for you- to get & stay sober! You will find lots of good support, advice here! Best of luck!
I think I'll give it a whirl - thank you. I feel much better already
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,877
Welcome to SR, GerdMuller.
You might want to check out this SR link and AVRT:
Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
You might want to check out this SR link and AVRT:
Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: sydney nsw
Posts: 785
Hi Gerd, welcome, you sound like me.. I am older than you 50 but can relate to your past lifestyle.. Done all the raves, pills, speed, acid and loads of alcohol.. It took years for alcohol to take control of me.. I drank partied and suddenly I couldnt ride a hangover without a hair of a dog.. I stopped drugs years ago except the occasional joint here and there. However, alcohol stuck with me. It was a daily habit until 11 days ago.. I used booze as a friend, destresser, relaxant etc.. Lately, the last couple of years my weekend morning coffee cup was always full of wine.. I was drunk by 10-11am.. Had to sleep it of and start again when i woke up.. I tool loads of sick leave from work as was simply too hangover to cope.. It was a viscious cycle and only I could break it.. I am not an AA kind of a person but use SR as my main support to inspire to stay on this sober road.. I have chosen to do this and I WANT to so this for health and relationship reasons..
You have come to a good place here with wonderful people.. Be honest here as you dont need to hide anymore.. We all been down a similar path in some ways..
You can do this if you really want to.. As I said only 11 days clean but I am feeling so much better already..
You have come to a good place here with wonderful people.. Be honest here as you dont need to hide anymore.. We all been down a similar path in some ways..
You can do this if you really want to.. As I said only 11 days clean but I am feeling so much better already..
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 544
Gerd said: " it's more I just push sobrietary down the list of my priorities in favour of having a good time. "
Hi Gerd. The next time you consider drinking and having a good time, remember to think it all the way through. How long does the good time really last?
Here's my idea of a good time: having fun with people who are my true friends, going to bed sober, and waking up early without a hangover - remembering everything I did the night before.
Hope you stick around here a while. Lots of wise advice.
Hi Gerd. The next time you consider drinking and having a good time, remember to think it all the way through. How long does the good time really last?
Here's my idea of a good time: having fun with people who are my true friends, going to bed sober, and waking up early without a hangover - remembering everything I did the night before.
Hope you stick around here a while. Lots of wise advice.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,574
Hi Gerd! It's great to have you join the family. You sound positive, determined, and ready to do this. We know you can. Sharing here helped me so much - you're never alone with your struggle. We want to help.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 39
You can certainly abstain from drinking without AA. Some people need a group face to face type setting. I much prefer privacy and enjoy the anonymous nature the internet offers. I prefer to be spiritual without organized religion as well. A lot is made of social media and it's negative aspects ( most of which I avoid: no Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc...) but the vast knowledge here is an invaluable. I rarely ever post but I read here several days a week when I need a reminder of why I actually feel better physically but more so mentally.
Last edited by JCMJ; 10-15-2015 at 04:12 PM. Reason: Left out word
Sober since 1st January 2016
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 58
Originally Posted by SoberLeigh
Welcome to SR, GerdMuller.
You might want to check out this SR link and AVRT:
You might want to check out this SR link and AVRT:
Just read all of that. It's so simple and powerful. I'll endeavour to read some book on the subject. I need a name for my AV though now!
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