Still on the hook?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,697
Still on the hook?
Nearing 100 days and its power is still there but weakening. I felt it going out to the bar. Why would i go to a bar? Stupidity, playing with the devil or both.
People like to have a drink and unwind.
I want to be social and people appreciate a designated driver. I need to face it head on. No being on the fence. No living scared in sobriety or hiding from alcohol. Its there like it or not.
I had a strong urge being at the bar seeing drinks and shots. The urge was quick and impulsive. I didnt need to drink. Its simple that it takes a long time to unlearn something.
The pulses were mental and psychological cues from a long history of use and abuse. I kept my sobriety on the my mind. I can go out. I can have fun and i dont want a drink because i cant afford the consequences.
I kept thinking about Alan Carr and the plant. Slowly falling into abyss.
I had a fun sober time and everyone got home safely.
Success!!
People like to have a drink and unwind.
I want to be social and people appreciate a designated driver. I need to face it head on. No being on the fence. No living scared in sobriety or hiding from alcohol. Its there like it or not.
I had a strong urge being at the bar seeing drinks and shots. The urge was quick and impulsive. I didnt need to drink. Its simple that it takes a long time to unlearn something.
The pulses were mental and psychological cues from a long history of use and abuse. I kept my sobriety on the my mind. I can go out. I can have fun and i dont want a drink because i cant afford the consequences.
I kept thinking about Alan Carr and the plant. Slowly falling into abyss.
I had a fun sober time and everyone got home safely.
Success!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Auckland
Posts: 2,548
Great, leitgo! I've really admired you over these last 3 months - all the effort you've put in to maintain your sobriety and watching your dedication has been a pleasure. Here's to another hundred days, and more!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Congrats on your upcoming 100 days letitgo.
As you go on tho you might find as I did that being at a bar wasn't a place for me.
I'm not even talking about relapsing - although I did that many times with a moments bad decision - but I really find bars depress me now.
Outside of the odd gig, I have no reason to be there.
D
As you go on tho you might find as I did that being at a bar wasn't a place for me.
I'm not even talking about relapsing - although I did that many times with a moments bad decision - but I really find bars depress me now.
Outside of the odd gig, I have no reason to be there.
D
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
I don't mind going to a pub or a bar but the focus for me is the social thing on special occasions . When that peters out i leave .
I don't offer to be the designated driver as i might end up feeling obliged to be somewhere i don't want to be surrounded by alcohol and that stinking thinking might start up if i can't escape .
If i were there in the same old places doing the same old things "hanging out" i'd stop it as being this sober drunk sat at a bar is asking for trouble if I'm there for no reason .
Keep on with sobriety
m
I don't offer to be the designated driver as i might end up feeling obliged to be somewhere i don't want to be surrounded by alcohol and that stinking thinking might start up if i can't escape .
If i were there in the same old places doing the same old things "hanging out" i'd stop it as being this sober drunk sat at a bar is asking for trouble if I'm there for no reason .
Keep on with sobriety
m
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,697
In retrospect it was not the smartest thing to do.
I am a big sports fan and its more to watch games in that heated environment. Unfortunately most establishments revolve around sports and alchohol. I will not try to make that a common occurrence. I did go to a wedding a few weeks ago and bailed early. After so many hours of watching people drink and socializing i was just bored.
We were watching baseball and usa vs mexico football/soccer. I am generally not into soccer but it was a great environment. People so up and down and the ending was so exciting.
But watching (NFL) football at buffalo wild wings is cool because they have every game on tv. But their advertisement is wings, beer sports.
The two are so intertwined in the usa. I feel comfortable enough in my sobriety i would get out of the situation if neccessary. I also feel strong enough in my sobriety and have the tools to know the tricks of my own mind.
Thank you all for your support.
Thank you Dee and Mecanix because i value your thoughts and wisdom. I certainly dont want to make this a habit but once in a while i am good.
I am a big sports fan and its more to watch games in that heated environment. Unfortunately most establishments revolve around sports and alchohol. I will not try to make that a common occurrence. I did go to a wedding a few weeks ago and bailed early. After so many hours of watching people drink and socializing i was just bored.
We were watching baseball and usa vs mexico football/soccer. I am generally not into soccer but it was a great environment. People so up and down and the ending was so exciting.
But watching (NFL) football at buffalo wild wings is cool because they have every game on tv. But their advertisement is wings, beer sports.
The two are so intertwined in the usa. I feel comfortable enough in my sobriety i would get out of the situation if neccessary. I also feel strong enough in my sobriety and have the tools to know the tricks of my own mind.
Thank you all for your support.
Thank you Dee and Mecanix because i value your thoughts and wisdom. I certainly dont want to make this a habit but once in a while i am good.
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
A lot of the stuff I love often involves alcohol being present, as well -- camping, art openings, speaker events, silly costume parties. I agree with your approach... not seeking it out, but not having to live in fear, either, is my goal. Congrats on getting through it, and on 100 days!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: North Ga
Posts: 251
I hate to keep posting so much. But this thread raises a question. Is part of the process of recovery to face these kind of situations at some point, or is the consensus to just avoid them in general? Seems like going to a bar even with no intentions of drinking seems risky, but I can also see going and being successful could be a big confidence booster and a bridge to cross in the overall recovery process.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Kids, you're fine posting and asking questions. In fact, asking question is a lot of what early recovery is about.
My own two cents: Early recovery and bars are not a good mix. There's a term in sobriety/recovery call "sober muscles." Like many things, I don't know that there's a set-in-stone definition but the general principle is that you need to develop strength in being comfortable with sobriety. There have been many times here on SR when a well-intended poster went to a bar "to face the situation" and wound up drinking.
Keeping ourselves out of situations that tempt us early on is a way of building sobriety -- and, thus, sober muscles.
None of this is to take away from letitgo making it through the night sober. But as noted in a later post, it really wasn't the hottest idea.
Sobriety prevails upon us to make changes. As Mecanix -- who has amassed some pretty serious sober time -- notes, bars tend to lose their appeal.
My own two cents: Early recovery and bars are not a good mix. There's a term in sobriety/recovery call "sober muscles." Like many things, I don't know that there's a set-in-stone definition but the general principle is that you need to develop strength in being comfortable with sobriety. There have been many times here on SR when a well-intended poster went to a bar "to face the situation" and wound up drinking.
Keeping ourselves out of situations that tempt us early on is a way of building sobriety -- and, thus, sober muscles.
None of this is to take away from letitgo making it through the night sober. But as noted in a later post, it really wasn't the hottest idea.
Sobriety prevails upon us to make changes. As Mecanix -- who has amassed some pretty serious sober time -- notes, bars tend to lose their appeal.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: North Ga
Posts: 251
Originally Posted by Venecia 
Kids, you're fine posting and asking questions. In fact, asking question is a lot of what early recovery is about.
My own two cents: Early recovery and bars are not a good mix. There's a term in sobriety/recovery call "sober muscles." Like many things, I don't know that there's a set-in-stone definition but the general principle is that you need to develop strength in being comfortable with sobriety. There have been many times here on SR when a well-intended poster went to a bar "to face the situation" and wound up drinking.
Keeping ourselves out of situations that tempt us early on is a way of building sobriety -- and, thus, sober muscles.
None of this is to take away from letitgo making it through the night sober. But as noted in a later post, it really wasn't the hottest idea.
Sobriety prevails upon us to make changes. As Mecanix -- who has amassed some pretty serious sober time -- notes, bars tend to lose their appeal.
My own two cents: Early recovery and bars are not a good mix. There's a term in sobriety/recovery call "sober muscles." Like many things, I don't know that there's a set-in-stone definition but the general principle is that you need to develop strength in being comfortable with sobriety. There have been many times here on SR when a well-intended poster went to a bar "to face the situation" and wound up drinking.
Keeping ourselves out of situations that tempt us early on is a way of building sobriety -- and, thus, sober muscles.
None of this is to take away from letitgo making it through the night sober. But as noted in a later post, it really wasn't the hottest idea.
Sobriety prevails upon us to make changes. As Mecanix -- who has amassed some pretty serious sober time -- notes, bars tend to lose their appeal.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Originally Posted by KidsEverywhere
I hate to keep posting so much. But this thread raises a question. Is part of the process of recovery to face these kind of situations at some point, or is the consensus to just avoid them in general? Seems like going to a bar even with no intentions of drinking seems risky, but I can also see going and being successful could be a big confidence booster and a bridge to cross in the overall recovery process.
Noone lifts 300 pounds the first time they try weights.
I stayed away from alcohol centered places and events until I felt secure in my recovery.
That point and how long it takes you to get there will always be different for everyone - for me it was 3-4 months and even then I was tentative for a while....I *really* wanted to stay sober.
Now, I can go anywhere and do anything...but I worked up to that.
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,580
My first few months, I avoided it completely. Now I'm ok to go, but I only do so if I have a good reason (mandatory business events, important family occasions). I plan for it too ... make sure I have eaten before I go, have soft drinks with me, have my own ride home, plan to leave after an hour or two, and have sober friends that I can text. On the one hand I'm fine, on the other hand I don't want to take it for granted. My sobriety is too important.
D♭7♭9♯9♯11♭13
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 336
Originally Posted by KidsEverywhere
I hate to keep posting so much. But this thread raises a question. Is part of the process of recovery to face these kind of situations at some point, or is the consensus to just avoid them in general? Seems like going to a bar even with no intentions of drinking seems risky, but I can also see going and being successful could be a big confidence booster and a bridge to cross in the overall recovery process.
The first couple of days felt odd, and the first gig was a corporate event where the guy was offering us whatever we wanted from expensive bottles of whiskey before the last set since a ton was going to be left over, which was like a "wtf, picked the wrong time to quit drinking" situation, but it wasn't like I never had any Blue Label before, so whatever.
I haven't had any real desires/cravings the last 2 or so months I've been on the wagon, since I decided I'm just done with it for at least my goal period (6 months), but last night presented a situation where a couple of shots followed by a high-octane IPA would have made the next 2 sets go by much better and since it's a matter of a 2 second walk to "paradise" that could potentially be dangerous.
Had that been my first week or two clean, I certainly would have kicked a few back and glided through the night; as is, it's whatever... job done, and those kinds situations don't occur much at all, so I'm not particularly worried about it.
Sometimes you have people who buy, or want to buy you drinks so that requires a special tact as to not offend people, but I have a standard go to excuse that works well.
It gets easier and easier and the surrounding booze becomes more and more like anything else in the establishment - just something you don't really think much about.
If I had the choice, I would have spent the first couple of weeks completely removed from it. On the other hand, maybe my resolve is as strong as it is because I am surrounded by it all the time. Dunno, but I know if an impulsive slip is going to happen it will be super easy to do, however, I like the freedom I have now, so...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,697
lol thats why i like being the dd. The choice is leave when i want to or a $60 cab ride 
i have no intention of making this weekly occurrence. Every tourist location in SF sells beer and wine. Its everywhere but not for me.
I would say do what feels comfortable in your own recovery. As Mecanix stated and i learned it just gets boring spending several hour sober while others drink. I would rather be on the couch with a good book.
i have no intention of making this weekly occurrence. Every tourist location in SF sells beer and wine. Its everywhere but not for me. I would say do what feels comfortable in your own recovery. As Mecanix stated and i learned it just gets boring spending several hour sober while others drink. I would rather be on the couch with a good book.
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