LikeAFish

This is my Day 1
So after 3 years or more of daily blackout drinking, you can understand what I'm going through now. That part I can deal with.
I just can't face doing the things that need to be done that my alcoholism caused me to hide from. Finances and paperwork mostly.
Do you think it's a good idea to get it all done so I can reset it all now or should I wait until I'm feeling more human lol ?

Feeling positive about not drinking though, I have to do the weekly shopping without my wife soon, so that's going to be the real test. Normally I'd stop by the local beer shop and buy a few for the journey (I know I know) then load up at the supermarket and carry on drinking the whole weekend for every waking hour.
Whilst in care of my child who is 5.

Instead I'm taking him to the park this afternoon to build a den. I have a lot of making up to do with my family and myself.

Dee74

If you've been putting off stuff for ages, will putting things off a few more days matter.LikeAFish?

D

NestWasEmpty

I would wait on the paper work to keep your stress down , way too early . Could you shop at a different store or even not take the same route . Trick your brain (AV) not to see anything familiar ( triggers) that really helps in early recovery . Post often & ask for ideas .. SR'ers are wonderful to come up with plans ! Congrats on day 1

ast1

Congratulations!!

LikeAFish

I want to drive the same route and shop in the same store. I know it's dangerous to try and prove that I can do it.
To be honest any store I could go to has booze everywhere so I can't avoid it.

On a positive note - my house is looking better already. Compulsive housework to keep myself busy.
I was cleaning out my empties (secret drinker and beer drinker so you can imagine the volume) earlier and stumbled across two cans still unopened of my favourite extra strong beers that I had forgot about.
Temptation!
Straight down the sink, it was hard to do it but easy not to drink it. I just hated throwing it away.

This cup of tea is way better.

FreeOwl

Focus on yourself and your family....

All that stuff that is backlogged; paperwork, finances, the rest of it - it will get caught up. Sooner than you can imagine, you'll find your life is turning around for the better and bit by bit things are on the mend.

But start with making sure your sobriety stays sound, making sure you're supporting yourself with the right tools to develop into your new, improved life.... and spend as much time with your child and your family as you can - showing them the best parts of you. These will be the most rewarding places to put your energies.

All the other stuff will fall in place in due time. Yes it will take effort - but allow yourself patience and time. Sometimes there'll be frustrations, but it all gets caught up.

It took time to get yourself buried, it'll take time to get unstuck. Two years down the sober track almost - and i'm still setting things right with regard to finances and back taxes and responsibilities neglected. But bit by bit, a lot of it is improved. I'm out of debt and my credit is getting better and I'm going through the steps to resolve tax issues and I've done all my legal penance for DUIs and I'm working on a few bits and bobs to resolve impact to my life of that (like having to go through a long process to reinstate my pilot's license).... etc.

But you know what? For those nearly-two years I have always been present and conscious and aware... I've BEEN with my kids and my family and I've been a man I can look upon with honor and confidence and pride. Not the braggadocious kind of pride... but the quiet, humble pride that comes with knowing I've done the right things today, I'm a good man, I'm responsible and caring and a positive force in the flow......


And THAT is where it's at.

You can do it, keep it up.

LikeAFish

Thanks freeowl
I intend to be in your shoes and can say the same in that timescale.
For now, I'm doing it minute by minute.
I can't believe how much hard work and planning it takes to be an alcoholic. It was exhausting I suppose. I already have achieved this morning what would've taken week whilst being hammered.

I may even dig out my running shoes this evening and do a lap or two of the lakes. That's how good I feel.

ccam1973

Great job Like. I agree with the others, give yourself some time before tackling too much. The worst thing you can do is to overload and give your AV more room to negotiate. That stuff can wait for a few more days imo.

I've only been sober for just over a year, but I will tell you I've been way more productive as a dad, husband and overall person in that year than I was in the previous 21 years in the bottle. You never know when you will run out of tomorrows. Stay strong, everyone else in your presence will benefit from your decision to not drink today! You'll love how being sober simplifies your life.

We are here whenever you need us.

dru1085

LikeAFish

Im on day 6 man, so I feel your pain. I used to hide alcohol better than anyone could .. sneak it in before drinking some more , it does get exhausting man. Get past a few days, keep track of your successes and when that urge crosses your mind after a few days of not drinking you will have more ammunition and ull be thinking a lot clearer ! Good luck to ya mate. have a sober weekend

Dru -

On The Road

Like others have said, when I quit drinking my relationship with my family really improved. It makes all the difference in the world NOT being hungover and craving the next drink. Now I'm up early and coaching sports for my kids. And spending time with everyone without acting like an a-hole.

NestWasEmpty

That's true every store has alcohol - I just put that out there , cause some have said ( in here) it helped them not to take the familiar route . Would make their AV start chattering .
Even after 2 years there are still events I won't stick my toes in to test the waters . I don't want to fall in & drown .. That AV is sneaky can grab you up no matter how your feeling . Be on the look out at least for awhile .
Glad you tossed out that beer !!

Berrybean

I agree that it can probably wait a few days. I needed to get my partner to sit with me and open envelopes initially - the anxiety was too much. I was literally breaking out into cold sweats and shaking. Typically enough, although it wasn't great when I looked at it all, it was more manageable that I'd projected in my mind it would be. One of the things I've realised over the last 18 months (sober) is that the fear of things is usually far more uncomfortable than the thing itself.

But, this weekend is about starting your sober journey, and getting a plan together. Maybe the bills could go on a 'Stuff I want to sort out' list, and you can gradually start tackling things as you feel able to.

Well done on chucking the alcohol down the sink, by the way. I'm a bit of a tea fan. Luckily for me there is a wonderful tea house not far from my home. The tough part is choosing which tea to have as they have over 100 different varieties. This afternoon (as it's my birthday) I treated myself to 1001 Nights Tea ('a magical fusion of dark Celyon and grassy mild Sencha, complimented with oriental jasmine and rose petals') and a slice of Chai sponge cake. Mmmm.

Jsbodhi

Have fun at the park!
I'd wait on the paperwork, I've put mine off a bit until I settle into a normal life

thomas11

Interesting question. I can see both sides. One, it would be gnawing at me all the time if it was lingering and would make me want to drink to forget about it. On the other hand, if I did it, and got it done, I would want to reward myself with a drinking session. So I guess it depends on you, and what you think would be best. I probably would hold off until you've got a clear head and strong mind. Its waited this long, it can wait a couple more days. Just my 2 cents.

teatreeoil007

To me, that's a tough question. If I get behind on bills/finance, I feel stressed or have increased stress. And stress is one of my triggers. But sobriety has got to be you main focus. Can your spouse do the finances until you feel more stable? Good job on housework...that's got to feel good! The weekly shopping is pretty much a must-gotta eat. Can you wait and do it when your wife can come with you?

Blaizze

Congrats keep it up! It may be best to wait a bit for the paperwork and stuff. Your emotions and anxiety can go all over the map the first few days if you were blackout drinking for several years. Keep the stressors down, and possibly pass off the shopping chores to the wife, is she supportive of you not drinking? if she is, she may understand the hesitation in going. You could also bring her with too.