Lilro

Yes, it's true, I, the non-A OBVIOUS Codie relapsed but I'm back.

I'm not sure how many kick's in the butt I need for me to finally get the message that I am the only one that can change no matter how many EMPTY PROMISES of sobriety from my once again EX I receive. It was a nice almost 4 weeks of reconnecting, no drinking ( or at least I thought ) time spent rebuilding slowly all for it to ONCE AGAIN come crashing down.

I guess it's what I finally needed to realize that the only person I can change is myself.

Lessons that I will walk away with and know now to be true?
The only one I can and should be helping is myself.
When someone shows you who they are believe them the first time. - thank you Maya.
Whether someone truly wants recovery is none of my business.
Listen to my gut instinct.
How do you know when an alcoholic is lying? His lips are moving.

What can I say? I had hope, faith, belief that what he was saying was true. Now it's time to switch the focus on me and me only. NC I go...again. Only this time a little wiser.
Thanks for listening, you guys are my touchstone. Xoxo

Pia

Be gentle to yourself it is hard I know. I am guilty for trying one to many times also. There will come a time where you reach a point that you realize that going back would mean you are cheating yourself out of happiness and you don't want that anymore. Hugs!

healthyagain

Lilro, I think you are a bit too harsh to yourself. It takes sometimes almost superhuman strength to let go. You might be a codie, but alcoholics lie, manipulate, play games, and sometimes, it is simply hard to accept that someone you love treats you that way. And there is a disappointment, after disappointment, after disappointment. And then it finally hits us. And we do indeed let go.

Katchie

We've all been there done that!! Goodness, I don't have enough fingers and toes to count how often that has happened to me over the years. Here's to a wiser you!!!

Liveitwell

Been there done that!! Truest statement I've learned through all of this-how do you know an alcoholic is lying? His lips are moving. 100%. You are now that much stronger and wiser to his antics-peace to you today!!

maia1234

L- This is a success story, you are choosing not to have him in your life....

"My success story is about me, not the alkie that was in my life. I could not deal with him any longer, he was depressing, manipulative, argumentative, confusing as well. Finally I went no contact with him when I realized he was bringing me down every time I interacted with him, it just had to stop. I feel so much better now with him out of my life." from SR

Hugs Lilo, everything is a stepping stone to where we are going. You wouldn't be here if you hadn't spent those 4 weeks with him. Its all GOOD!!

AnvilheadII

I had hope, faith, belief that what he was saying was true.

and if it was true, what would that mean FOR YOU? IF he got sober then your life would be....................what? you don't have to answer that here, just take time to reflect...........

now, get busy getting that life that you want so bad, only do it without him in the recipe.

knowthetriggers

Just keep working your program, or whatever works for you. You are on the right path to your own recovery. Just believe in yourself and reach for the life YOU want.

(((hugs))))