Busted sober!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Maryland
Posts: 321
Busted sober!
We've been friends since we were five years old....so 45 years. BFF's for many years, and as life does, lost touch here and there, but always there for each other no matter the space in time. I still consider her my best friend, no matter the time spent apart. We partied HARD together in our late teens and 20's, and 30's for that matter.....even though our friendship has endured, she sort of started going a bit spiritual (not a bad thing by any means) but she naturally (spiritually?) cleaned up her act. Just grew up I guess (lucky her!)
She had just gotten back from a trip w/her mother (love her mother too!) While on vacay, she met with two friends who we all have known for many years, both now sober over 10 years. Her mother said to her, "You know, out of all your friends, the sober ones seem the most content, happy with their lives. Happy just to be where they are, to be present. Interested and engaged in the moment not always stressing about something else or what's next to do". (something to that extent).
Before she told me this, after about 1/2 an hour on the phone, she asked "Have you quit drinking"? I was a little startled, then I said "Yes, it's over a month now".......She said "I KNEW IT"! She could tell something was different, she said I sounded "grounded". WHAT? ME? I've always been the crazy, hyper one....now I'm thinking maybe I was the crazy one because of alcohol (though the last few years the crazy was all in my head, spent alone, on my couch). One of the first times in my life I thought to myself "Hey, maybe you are normal InTheEnd....how would you know after years of drinking distorting every single thought?"
She was so proud of me and for the first time, I opened up about everything. She was aware of my "occasional" depressed feelings over the years, but I never told her about the drinking wine every night, over drinking, getting drunk alone. I told her it all and she asked if I had something awful happen or hit a bottom. I told her "No, but I was on my way, got off that elevator on the floor just above".
It felt wonderful to get it out. With each day I'm getting stronger and will guard my sobriety with all I have. I don't ever want to be that person again.
So, instead of getting noticed for being the "sloshed old lady in the room".........I got noticed for being the real me, the me I like. The me it seems that has been MIA for years. It was awesome! I'm teary eyed this morning as I type this.
Love you all here at SR! I know my posts are long and rambling. Please accept my apologies.
She had just gotten back from a trip w/her mother (love her mother too!) While on vacay, she met with two friends who we all have known for many years, both now sober over 10 years. Her mother said to her, "You know, out of all your friends, the sober ones seem the most content, happy with their lives. Happy just to be where they are, to be present. Interested and engaged in the moment not always stressing about something else or what's next to do". (something to that extent).
Before she told me this, after about 1/2 an hour on the phone, she asked "Have you quit drinking"? I was a little startled, then I said "Yes, it's over a month now".......She said "I KNEW IT"! She could tell something was different, she said I sounded "grounded". WHAT? ME? I've always been the crazy, hyper one....now I'm thinking maybe I was the crazy one because of alcohol (though the last few years the crazy was all in my head, spent alone, on my couch). One of the first times in my life I thought to myself "Hey, maybe you are normal InTheEnd....how would you know after years of drinking distorting every single thought?"
She was so proud of me and for the first time, I opened up about everything. She was aware of my "occasional" depressed feelings over the years, but I never told her about the drinking wine every night, over drinking, getting drunk alone. I told her it all and she asked if I had something awful happen or hit a bottom. I told her "No, but I was on my way, got off that elevator on the floor just above".
It felt wonderful to get it out. With each day I'm getting stronger and will guard my sobriety with all I have. I don't ever want to be that person again.
So, instead of getting noticed for being the "sloshed old lady in the room".........I got noticed for being the real me, the me I like. The me it seems that has been MIA for years. It was awesome! I'm teary eyed this morning as I type this.
Love you all here at SR! I know my posts are long and rambling. Please accept my apologies.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Newtown, CT USA
Posts: 58
InTheEnd, I'm glad you shared that - - we often need to focus on what's going wrong in a forum like this, so hearing about what's going right with one of us is uplifting. Congratulations on over a month!
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
That is great IntheEnd. It does feel really good to just give up the fight pretecting the addiction. Being in recovery is something to be proud of. And it helps with accountability when we're open with people we are close with.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Somewhere in California
Posts: 1,136
When I went home to visit this summer my parents noted a big difference, which they mentioned to my wife. Heavy alcohol consumption really affects is in more ways than we realize.
What you said about alcohol distorting every thought is true. Our brains distort everything- even when we are not drinking at a particular moment. The distorted thinking that comes from drinking is one of the biggest deterrents for me to never go back to drinking again.
What you said about alcohol distorting every thought is true. Our brains distort everything- even when we are not drinking at a particular moment. The distorted thinking that comes from drinking is one of the biggest deterrents for me to never go back to drinking again.
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