jennym

Hello all. I have posted a few times about my ex. After almost 3 years, I finally put my foot down. After almost 2 years drug free, he went back the first chance he got. We broke up over his erratic emotional behavior and his not wanting to see how he was acting. It is so sad that he went straight back. I loved who I thought he was. Makes me sad too. Now that I cut him off he send me long emails how its my fault because I made him leave and if I never did this he would still be sober. I know the game amd I'm not responding. Thank you for all your advice. I'm finally listening. Hopefully he will work a real program, use God, and get it together. That was the longest most strenuous 2.5 years of my life.

Anaya

Good for you, jennym. Hoping you find peace and happiness.

FeelingGreat

Well done Jenny, you're off the treadmill. I know you'll have sad times, but I'm glad you're not buying into your exabf's attempts to pass the guilt for his decisions onto you.

Ann

Although it is hard for you right now, the pain of leaving is far less than the pain of staying would be.

You are a strong woman with a bright future ahead of you, one day soon you will take the lesson from all this and find a happier healthier life.

Hugs

Charioteer

Congrats and stay strong. You've taken the first big step, but save that email and remember exactly how you feel right now, because once he's done being mad there's a chance he's going to turn on the manipulation and use every means at his disposal to try and get you back. Just remember that you are doing the right thing!

smartass1379

Congrats and I hope you can keep this going! I can sympathize with the erratic emotions. My ex went from calling me and addict to claiming I was codependent to anything under the sun to make me come off like a bad person. Its been a month and he is now being nice about our relationship but it will never be the same.

We love these people and care about them but just think of how exponentially harder life will be with them in our lives and how we could miss out on a chance to fall in love with someone healthy.

Stay strong

JOIE12

thank you Jenniem - as FeelingGreat wrote - 'you are off the treadmill'

it's sad but you have learned a lifetime of knowledge about yourself in 3 years. Please don't ever forget and keep reading about codependency. It will creep up often or every once in awhile - and needs attention, for it is OUR addiction. You seem to have a good handle on what is not acceptable. Thanks for sharing. Hugs to you, Joie

jennym

Thank you everyone for your responses. I will learn to see people for who they are instead of who the wish they or or who I want them to be. Codependency is something I struggle with but at least I recognize it now so I can learn to be better!