Breathalyzer refused, is he drunk?
Danielle G.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Alexandria, VA
Posts: 13
Breathalyzer refused, is he drunk?
My AH got out of rehab 2 months ago. He's relapsed a number of times and sometimes I thought he was drunk when he said he wasn't - the problem, he couldn't prove his sobriety and I couldn't believe a lie I had heard too many times before. So, we agreed to buy a breathalyzer - we've had it about 4 weeks. The agreement was that if he refused to take a breathalyzer than I could assume he was drunk. I've asked him to blow three times - all three times he blew .2 or higher. Tonight I got home from work and I thought he had been drinking (he has all the telltale signs). I asked him to blow and he said no - something about he promised himself that if I asked him again he would say no (not sure I follow the logic given everything he has put me through with his drinking and our agreement that he would blow or be considered drunk). He's adament that he hasn't been drinking - I believe just as strongly that he has. Tomorrow he is moving out and because he refused to blow, I am refusing to help him move all of his stuff (or take any money out of my account to help him pay for things) - he has a friend coming to help him. I'm tired of being lied to! Tomorrow he will be gone and I can start putting my life back together. But, in the meantime, am I wrong not to help him move or take money out of my account? Danielle G.
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Beaver, WA
Posts: 1,346
((((((((Danielle :rose ))))))))
Great read. Sounds like your holding him accountable but as for advice, I would suggest talking to other Al-Anon's. I would love to speak one on one with your Alcoholic Husband though as I can surely relate to his self-imposed situation. :Flush: Sounds like his life is going in the crapper and now might be a good time to talk with a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Worked well for me when the tidy bowl man finally appeared as I was going down for quite possibly the last time.
((((((((Danielle)))))))))) Kiss Heart of Spirit In Love & Service,
Three Legs
:tri
Great read. Sounds like your holding him accountable but as for advice, I would suggest talking to other Al-Anon's. I would love to speak one on one with your Alcoholic Husband though as I can surely relate to his self-imposed situation. :Flush: Sounds like his life is going in the crapper and now might be a good time to talk with a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Worked well for me when the tidy bowl man finally appeared as I was going down for quite possibly the last time.
((((((((Danielle)))))))))) Kiss Heart of Spirit In Love & Service,
Three Legs
:tri
Member
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Boston
Posts: 710
Originally Posted by Dkstinem00
My AH got out of rehab 2 months ago. He's relapsed a number of times and sometimes I thought he was drunk when he said he wasn't - the problem, he couldn't prove his sobriety and I couldn't believe a lie I had heard too many times before. So, we agreed to buy a breathalyzer - we've had it about 4 weeks. The agreement was that if he refused to take a breathalyzer than I could assume he was drunk. I've asked him to blow three times - all three times he blew .2 or higher. Tonight I got home from work and I thought he had been drinking (he has all the telltale signs). I asked him to blow and he said no - something about he promised himself that if I asked him again he would say no (not sure I follow the logic given everything he has put me through with his drinking and our agreement that he would blow or be considered drunk). He's adament that he hasn't been drinking - I believe just as strongly that he has. Tomorrow he is moving out and because he refused to blow, I am refusing to help him move all of his stuff (or take any money out of my account to help him pay for things) - he has a friend coming to help him. I'm tired of being lied to! Tomorrow he will be gone and I can start putting my life back together. But, in the meantime, am I wrong not to help him move or take money out of my account? Danielle G.
And you do not need anyones permission to make healthy decisions that affect your life. If you do not want to help him move out and/or give him money from your bank account, then don't. What you do or not do is not dependent upon what he does, thinks, or says. What you do is up to what you think, do and say. Trust that the decisions that you make are based on your experiences, and do not need validating from him, or anyone else. There your choices, your decisions, so trust your gut, and what its telling you in how to take care of YOU.
Alanon meetings are great source for taking care of you, and for learning to trust yourself, your own gut, choices and decisions.
God Bless,
Patsy
we're all mad here!
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: a padded room with bars
Posts: 1,681
Everyone's already said to go to Al Anon, and that's what I say. The forum with Al Anon on this website is called Friends and Family of Alcoholics.
Sounds to me like you are taking positive steps towards YOUR life. That's all you have to worry about...... your life.
Wishing you lots of luck, Danielle!
Sounds to me like you are taking positive steps towards YOUR life. That's all you have to worry about...... your life.
Wishing you lots of luck, Danielle!
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