Roller Coaster
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 626
Roller Coaster
Wow!! What a ride this has been. 38 days today.
The thing with my husbands work is still on going but I think I might have hit on why it has been bothering me so much.
In all my years of taking/abusing pills, I never got them off the street. It was usually thru a doctor then pharmacy. I have always hated doctors, dentists and pharmacists because I've always thought them to be dictating what I can have, how much and when. And always the waiting game...... Always. The not knowing.
That's whats bugging me about this situation. I got home and unloaded on my husband. It had been nagging at me for the whole day and I was pissed. I demanded what he was going to do, when was it going to happen. Plus, it's a moral thing. Thiefs should be fired, not hung onto. If I feel I have the moral high ground, there is going to be a fight!! =)
But the not knowing, it all just triggers me when I was waiting for prescriptions. I felt the same anxiety and it was all consuming. Days were ruined. Weeks maybe.
Now, it's bedtime and I feel much better. Even tho nothing has been worked out with husbands situation. I just feel better. Maybe that I got it out into the open or maybe that I figured out why it was bugging me so much.
What a roller coaster this 38 days has been. Rough and tumble but definitely a learning experience and if I can hang on long enough, I'll know I can make it thru anything!!!!
The thing with my husbands work is still on going but I think I might have hit on why it has been bothering me so much.
In all my years of taking/abusing pills, I never got them off the street. It was usually thru a doctor then pharmacy. I have always hated doctors, dentists and pharmacists because I've always thought them to be dictating what I can have, how much and when. And always the waiting game...... Always. The not knowing.
That's whats bugging me about this situation. I got home and unloaded on my husband. It had been nagging at me for the whole day and I was pissed. I demanded what he was going to do, when was it going to happen. Plus, it's a moral thing. Thiefs should be fired, not hung onto. If I feel I have the moral high ground, there is going to be a fight!! =)
But the not knowing, it all just triggers me when I was waiting for prescriptions. I felt the same anxiety and it was all consuming. Days were ruined. Weeks maybe.
Now, it's bedtime and I feel much better. Even tho nothing has been worked out with husbands situation. I just feel better. Maybe that I got it out into the open or maybe that I figured out why it was bugging me so much.
What a roller coaster this 38 days has been. Rough and tumble but definitely a learning experience and if I can hang on long enough, I'll know I can make it thru anything!!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 464
Congrats on the 38 days!
I know your pain with the roller coaster feelings its horrible! If you're up you're okay but then you know its going down then you're anxious then you're up again and you're okay!
After around 50 days or so I still feel the roller coaster, its getting less up and down but its still a ride.
Hang in there
I know your pain with the roller coaster feelings its horrible! If you're up you're okay but then you know its going down then you're anxious then you're up again and you're okay!
After around 50 days or so I still feel the roller coaster, its getting less up and down but its still a ride.
Hang in there
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 626
Yes, I'm starting to get the feeling that i can do this. Kind of humbling.
I honestly don't think i could've been as successful without this website and you people.
Even tho nothing has happened, still, with my husband's job, i have found a small bit of peace with it to where maybe i can start supporting my husband a little instead of being angry all the time.
I was joking about it last night saying, look at me drinking that poison and waiting for her to die. Gah!
I'm in a decent place today and grateful for it.
I honestly don't think i could've been as successful without this website and you people.
Even tho nothing has happened, still, with my husband's job, i have found a small bit of peace with it to where maybe i can start supporting my husband a little instead of being angry all the time.
I was joking about it last night saying, look at me drinking that poison and waiting for her to die. Gah!
I'm in a decent place today and grateful for it.
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