First Time Sponsor
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: appleton,wisconsin
Posts: 77
First Time Sponsor
Hi everyone
I am sponsoring for the first time, I feel the time is right and this is a right situation. I have prayed, spoken with my sponsor seeking advice and also want to ask this forum.
What literature is out there for a new sponsor to read? Any advice you can give? Suggestions or comments?
I decided to do this from the BB starting at the beginning and working thru to pg 164 with the 12 and 12 as we go along.
I am curious to hear you comments.
thanks
I am sponsoring for the first time, I feel the time is right and this is a right situation. I have prayed, spoken with my sponsor seeking advice and also want to ask this forum.
What literature is out there for a new sponsor to read? Any advice you can give? Suggestions or comments?
I decided to do this from the BB starting at the beginning and working thru to pg 164 with the 12 and 12 as we go along.
I am curious to hear you comments.
thanks
just j
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: chicago,illinois
Posts: 174
Congratulations, Al! That is great!
Sorry I have no advice, but I did attend my first AA meeting last night. I liked it and will go back.
What do you look for in a sponser anyway?
thanx for any input, Jalyn
Sorry I have no advice, but I did attend my first AA meeting last night. I liked it and will go back.
What do you look for in a sponser anyway?
thanx for any input, Jalyn
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: appleton,wisconsin
Posts: 77
Jalyn
Congratulations on your decision to help yourself.
There is no black and white answer to your question but here is what I suggest to people on how to pick a sponsor.
1 – First off, a man sponsors a man and a woman sponsors a woman without exception.
2 – Go to meetings and listen to people share. Those that have a message of hope and have something that you want are those that should go on your short list of candidates to be a sponsor.
3 – When you decide on a candidate for a sponsor ask them the following questions
a) How long have you been sober? Length of sobriety to be a sponsor is subjective but I think one year is a minimum. Others would disagree with me.
b) Have you worked the Steps?
c) Do you have a sponsor?
d) Will you have me work the Steps?
If the answers to b, c, and d are “yes� and you feel comfortable with them and want what they have then go for it.
Al
Congratulations on your decision to help yourself.
There is no black and white answer to your question but here is what I suggest to people on how to pick a sponsor.
1 – First off, a man sponsors a man and a woman sponsors a woman without exception.
2 – Go to meetings and listen to people share. Those that have a message of hope and have something that you want are those that should go on your short list of candidates to be a sponsor.
3 – When you decide on a candidate for a sponsor ask them the following questions
a) How long have you been sober? Length of sobriety to be a sponsor is subjective but I think one year is a minimum. Others would disagree with me.
b) Have you worked the Steps?
c) Do you have a sponsor?
d) Will you have me work the Steps?
If the answers to b, c, and d are “yes� and you feel comfortable with them and want what they have then go for it.
Al
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Beaver, WA
Posts: 1,346
Al:
Another helpful book my Sponsor used was Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age. "Some of US" need to find greater humility by better understanding why Unity in Alcoholics Anonymous is so important. Thus, when I was asked and it was suggested I start sponsoring others, I too needed to continue my personal spiritual growth in A.A.
My Sponsor took lots of assaults from me but stood firm on AA 12 Steps, AA 12 Traditions, and AA 12 Concepts
Recovery Unity & Service
in Alcoholics Anonymous.
Today, I try to do the same & understand better why he did so. After all, newcomers are OUR Lifeblood, polluting them with outside programs, etc... is not being responsible. Sponsoring folks in merged, generic recovery often causes dangerours skips in our heart beat. The links in our chain are easily broken if we forget the gift we were given in all of our Three Legacies.
((((((((((Wisconsin AL)))))))))))
Kiss Heart of Spirit
In Love & Service,
Three Legs
Another helpful book my Sponsor used was Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age. "Some of US" need to find greater humility by better understanding why Unity in Alcoholics Anonymous is so important. Thus, when I was asked and it was suggested I start sponsoring others, I too needed to continue my personal spiritual growth in A.A.
My Sponsor took lots of assaults from me but stood firm on AA 12 Steps, AA 12 Traditions, and AA 12 Concepts
Recovery Unity & Service
in Alcoholics Anonymous.
Today, I try to do the same & understand better why he did so. After all, newcomers are OUR Lifeblood, polluting them with outside programs, etc... is not being responsible. Sponsoring folks in merged, generic recovery often causes dangerours skips in our heart beat. The links in our chain are easily broken if we forget the gift we were given in all of our Three Legacies.
((((((((((Wisconsin AL)))))))))))
Kiss Heart of Spirit
In Love & Service,
Three Legs
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Colorado Springs CO
Posts: 889
Sounds like a good plan Al! You're in for a lot of fun if he lasts and follows instructions! Don't blame yourself though, if he doesn't. For me, sponsoring someone is a little like working the steps again. Giving those step instructions helps keep them fresh. I'm reminded of everything I did and learned. I see myself in him; in the things he does, writes and says. That old "terminal uniqueness" idea of mine is becoming all that much harder to justify. Last, but certainly not least, it is extremely gratifying to play a small part in saving someone from the horror of our old way of life!
Good plan, Jalyn! Each one of those steps is a process requiring one to perform specific actions, all of which are contained in AA literature. My sponsor taught me the steps straight out of the big book (titled Alcoholics Anonymous). Other people I've met seem to have used the book "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions", which was written a few years after the big book. The thing I want to say is that there's no way I would have found/done/do the instructions for these steps on my own, and without the work from these steps I'd be drunk (I tried not doing the steps before, and wound up drunk). IMHO, that's the value of a sponsor! Also, as 3Legacy points out, I'd be extremely skeptical of anything that doesn't come out of our literature.
Good plan, Jalyn! Each one of those steps is a process requiring one to perform specific actions, all of which are contained in AA literature. My sponsor taught me the steps straight out of the big book (titled Alcoholics Anonymous). Other people I've met seem to have used the book "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions", which was written a few years after the big book. The thing I want to say is that there's no way I would have found/done/do the instructions for these steps on my own, and without the work from these steps I'd be drunk (I tried not doing the steps before, and wound up drunk). IMHO, that's the value of a sponsor! Also, as 3Legacy points out, I'd be extremely skeptical of anything that doesn't come out of our literature.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Fl.
Posts: 34
Want to try on line?
Hi, I am looking for a sponser. Would you like to try being an online sponser? I have been going to AA for 6 months and can't find anyone in my group I am comfortable with. I think an online sponser would be good for me as I am very shy and it is very hard for me to call someone in person. I am also embarassed about my disease. Are you interested?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: appleton,wisconsin
Posts: 77
Hi Humble
I appreciate being asked but I am not comfortable being an online sponsor. For me this is something better done face-to-face. I am not saying online sponsorship will not work I am just saying it’s not for me.
Also I read a few of your posts and see you are a woman. The first rule of sponsorship is a man sponsors a man and a woman sponsors a woman without exceptions. I would never suggest to anyone that a man sponsors a woman or the reverse.
I too was very shy when first in AA, still shy today but its different in AA. And picking a sponsor was difficult for me. The first person I asked said "No" and that almost ended by attempts to get a sponsor but I persisted. But I did find a sponsor and it worked out great.
See my suggestions above for picking a sponsor and I hope these help.
God bless .. good luck and keep posting.
Thanks .. al
I appreciate being asked but I am not comfortable being an online sponsor. For me this is something better done face-to-face. I am not saying online sponsorship will not work I am just saying it’s not for me.
Also I read a few of your posts and see you are a woman. The first rule of sponsorship is a man sponsors a man and a woman sponsors a woman without exceptions. I would never suggest to anyone that a man sponsors a woman or the reverse.
I too was very shy when first in AA, still shy today but its different in AA. And picking a sponsor was difficult for me. The first person I asked said "No" and that almost ended by attempts to get a sponsor but I persisted. But I did find a sponsor and it worked out great.
See my suggestions above for picking a sponsor and I hope these help.
God bless .. good luck and keep posting.
Thanks .. al
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Colorado Springs CO
Posts: 889
Everyone is shy about asking, Humble. The sponsor gets helped just as much as the sponsee. People with good, quality sobriety are always looking to sponsor, and the best way is f2f. Don't fall for that terminal uniqueness routine. One of the really astonishing things about this program is how we alcoholics think and act alike. Why not go to different meetings then? Maybe a closed big book or step study? Or perhaps pray first? It worked for me!
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