Trying not to stress but I caused it...
Trying not to stress but I caused it...
It's been a few days since my last post, and just trying to not let the stress get to me. My fault for it all. I chose to drive drunk again and blow out my wheels I assume on a curve. My fault I go to jail and risk losing my jobs. My fault I put this financial burden on myself and my family (lawyer, truck repairs, new wheels and tires, bail). DUI arrest number 3 in the last 15 months! I'm going to court for the 2nd one in late October(lawyer thinks I can get a wreckless driving since my blood was taken outside the time line they have set). I'm starting my 90 day out patient therapy this coming week. I'm not only stressing myself out but my wife who is in school. Sigh...I swear I hate this disease with every bone in my body.
My wife is a rock and I say it often on here. She wants me to continue to live life and be happy. Happy that I still have my jobs, happy that I didn't kill anyone or myself driving drunk again! I just find it difficult to be in a good mood with all this hanging over my head. I try I really do.
Just a stressed filled day and need to let if off my chest.
My wife is a rock and I say it often on here. She wants me to continue to live life and be happy. Happy that I still have my jobs, happy that I didn't kill anyone or myself driving drunk again! I just find it difficult to be in a good mood with all this hanging over my head. I try I really do.
Just a stressed filled day and need to let if off my chest.
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,087
Ohhh dude, no driving drunk. If you want to drink, go for it, but DO NOT DRIVE. There's a very good reason I don't own a vehicle any more.
Come on dude, how would you feel if you had to wake up every morning for the rest of your life knowing you killed some 8 year old kid, because you decided to get behind the wheel drunk? I don't know about you, but that would totally devastate me to the point of suicide.
No drinking and driving, alright? That's beyond what's acceptable.
Come on dude, how would you feel if you had to wake up every morning for the rest of your life knowing you killed some 8 year old kid, because you decided to get behind the wheel drunk? I don't know about you, but that would totally devastate me to the point of suicide.
No drinking and driving, alright? That's beyond what's acceptable.
I'm not even drinking and I haven't since I got out of jail over a week ago. I'm just waiting on finally going to treatment!
Ohhh dude, no driving drunk. If you want to drink, go for it, but DO NOT DRIVE. There's a very good reason I don't own a vehicle any more.
Come on dude, how would you feel if you had to wake up every morning for the rest of your life knowing you killed some 8 year old kid, because you decided to get behind the wheel drunk? I don't know about you, but that would totally devastate me to the point of suicide.
No drinking and driving, alright? That's beyond what's acceptable.
Come on dude, how would you feel if you had to wake up every morning for the rest of your life knowing you killed some 8 year old kid, because you decided to get behind the wheel drunk? I don't know about you, but that would totally devastate me to the point of suicide.
No drinking and driving, alright? That's beyond what's acceptable.
I would imagine it is. That feeling will eventually wear off, it always does. Coming here for support now is a good idea, have you given any thought as do what kinds of things you can do now to help supplement your upcoming treatment?
I think I should've explained myself a bit better, but my mind was moving faster than my typing. The last time I drank was the day I was arrested for the DUI. I regret it for sure and everything that has come along with it.
That's a great start, have you been doing anything specific to recovery in prep for your treatment?
Actually I have been prepping by switching my so that I can start treatment. I was on Klonopin for anxiety and ambien for sleep. They want me to be clear headed and using not addictive medications. My psychaitrist switched me to some other meds as she wants me to do the IOP (Intense Out Patient) therapy.
Hey GIR. No-one says you have to be in a good mood. That might be a bit of an ask at the moment!
You have some big gratitudes right there, listed, that you can focus on (almost like meditating to refocus the mind on the positives). Those gratitudes can be key to getting through this thing, because the alcoholic default for problem solving, in my experience, seemed to be my head replaying it over and over (because reliving it countless times obviously really helps), and sometimes trying lots of different negative emotions out on it. Anger. Guilt, Shame. Remorse. Self-pity.... you know the kind of stuff. This process is energy / strength zapping and isn't at all good for your recovery. Sometimes it helps to write it down. (Write what you did. Write how your actions did / could affect others. And then write what you intend to do in future.) Sometimes that process of writing it, and owning it can be really helpful. Also, if your recovery programme is a 12-step one then you'll be able to refer back to that piece of paper when you do step 4.
Wishing you well for your recovery.
You have some big gratitudes right there, listed, that you can focus on (almost like meditating to refocus the mind on the positives). Those gratitudes can be key to getting through this thing, because the alcoholic default for problem solving, in my experience, seemed to be my head replaying it over and over (because reliving it countless times obviously really helps), and sometimes trying lots of different negative emotions out on it. Anger. Guilt, Shame. Remorse. Self-pity.... you know the kind of stuff. This process is energy / strength zapping and isn't at all good for your recovery. Sometimes it helps to write it down. (Write what you did. Write how your actions did / could affect others. And then write what you intend to do in future.) Sometimes that process of writing it, and owning it can be really helpful. Also, if your recovery programme is a 12-step one then you'll be able to refer back to that piece of paper when you do step 4.
Wishing you well for your recovery.
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