Magellan

I know the answer, I just need to let it out there....
I lost focus at day 25 and can't seem to get it back. I know what I want but the life I have created over the last 25+ years is vastly different with how I envision the next 25. I've been on SR for a while and have been hiding in my old Nov class, I guess I am just comfortable with being forgotten, a bit less intimidating to announce to an anonymous world I have a problem. No one in my real world seems to believe me, so here I am posting on the main board, not sure what good it'll do but I'll keep going.

blueberry2015

Key is to focus on what you want today! If you break it down on a daily basis, it wont seem so overwhelming x x x Hope your okay x x x

Dee74

I think change is a process rather than an event Magellan - sometimes we have to trudge a little and have faith that things will turn out ok so long as we keep doing the right thing and stay sober.

Why do you think you've lost focus - fear, apathy, lack of self confidence?

D

doggonecarl

When I see the word comfortable in a post about struggling to get and stay sober, I translate that as, "I'm not willing to change."

You need to accept you can't drink--ever, commit to never drinking again, and do everything in your power to support that decision to quit. If nothing changes, you'll be looking back over the subsequent 25 years and wondering what happened.

Fly N Buy

I like your signature - what does that mean to you??

I had a lot of grand thoughts and ideas about who I should be, how I should love others and respect myself. I had a vision - smoke and mirrors mostly - always out of reach. A way of life that was barely visible with the image burning off with morning sunrise like a fog.

Then slowly I stacked a little bit of time. The vision turns to a level of reality - when I smile at loved ones, they smile back. Despair turns to hope, darkness to light - sorrow to joy.

Maybe that's why you posted Magellan - cause you know sobriety is there for us all. You can take the steps friend to change.

Glad you're here with us

Hevyn

I'm glad you posted here Magellan. You're never alone.

sugarbear1

a sober life can begin at age 50..... I am proof of that

ScottFromWI

Most people in the "real world" don't understand addiction, and most likely never will. So it's not surprising that some of them don't "believe"'us. But the bottom line is that it doesn't matter if they believe you or not. What you know and believe is what matters most. Many of us here DO understand though because we've been there. The same can be said about other recovery communities.

So please do keep posting....I found my way back here on SR by listening and looking inside myself. If you can accept your issues with alcohol for what they are and be honest with yourself about it, you can go as far as you want .

Marcher13

Magellan the way you want to live your life for the next 25 years can be yours if you are willing to work for it and go for it a step at a time.

You say you've lost focus, I''m not sure how to interpret that -- do you mean you are drinking again or that you don't feel the fire of recovery so much? If it's the former then you know what you must do -- stop, work out why you went back and tighten up the plan. If it's the latter then build that fire of recovery again -- take a step toward your new wanted life, make a plan for that life, go to the gratitude threads here at SR, eat something to heal your body, take a walk or go for a run.

Other people in your life may not understand purely because they are not addicts themselves so they can't fully appreciate the nature and hold of our addiction. And, if you're anything like I was, they may not perceive how bad your addiction is simply because they see you getting up every day and -- apparently -- functioning.

Recovery can be a solitary journey for these reasons but it does not have to be a lonely one. The passion, the energy and support of SR comes from that place that dwells inside of us -- we know what addiction is, how it tears apart our lives and we who have come through to the other side want to help others through too.

Magellan you can be that person you want to be, you can get back the zeal for recovery, keep talking -- we're here for you.

DitzyDandelion

I think your posting because that little spark of optimism isn't dead you just need us to remind you that it will take time to get here you want to be. Good luck on your journey.

PS. It will take time to get where you want to be but the journey is an incredible new adventure. One without hangovers and shame.

FreeOwl

Focus for a while on that next 25 years you envision.

What is different? What have you learned that you will honor and magnify? What are your hopes, dreams and goals?

You have immense power to create that life, and it begins by simply envisioning it and then CHOOSING it.

Our dreams mostly remain dreams because we forget the most important parts of the process; CHOOSING and ACTING in the direction of those dreams.

Get clear on that life you want. Wrote it down, talk about it, set goals - long term and short... And then today, choose in that direction.... Today and every day, one day at a time

Soberwolf

Mag