Spacegoat

So I was awake all night and all day yesterday. A normal eh, 'day' for me. But now I am tired, it is 1pm. But I have to travel to see my kid tomorrow.

But if I fall asleep now I will awake this evening and be up all night again. So the plan is the struggle on until tonight where I should get a few hours.

But I am exhausted now! & it's not like I can do anything productive at all. & I do this all the time it's the same if I have an appointment or anything.

It's really F'n miserable, I have to try and stay awake now for as long as possible barely able to function. And that is the entirety of my life basically.

Alynn

This was me last week. I couldn't sleep at all. Today is day 6 and sleeping much better

Alynn

In very sorry I know it's miserable.

Upwardspiral

Stratman, that was my first two weeks. But then one night at 9:30 I felt ready to drop. I put away the movie I was about to watch, laid down, and slept till 6:30a.m. I think our bodies will sort themselves out once we remove obstacles.

BringingBackB

I've struggled with insomnia for years but the once thing that does help is to set a rigid bed time structure. I get up at 7am even if I have been awake all night, and I don't allow myself to sleep during the day.

After a few months my body seemed to naturally adjust to this rhythm and I sleep much better now, better than I ever have in fact.

I know it is miserable when you are dog tired. I also found that dwelling on it makes it much worse. Some country in Europe did a study not long ago which I found quite interesting. The people who knew how long they had slept, felt that they had much less sleep than they actually did, whereas the people who were not told how long they had slept, in general slept longer than they thought they had. The point that I'm trying to get at is, much of it is all in our heads. When I stopped worrying about how much sleep Ihad gotten the previous night, in general I felt more rested.

I've confused myself even with that..... I'm sure it makes sense somewhere.

ScottFromWI

Unfortunately insomnia goes along with withdrawals and there's really not much you can do about it other than try to rest when you can.

Have you had any success in contacting or seeing a doctor or therapist for all the issues you've been sharing with us Stratman?

bookmaven

That schedule sounds just like me. My mom told me I even did that as a kid, and I still do it now and I'm old enough to know better lol.

I've tried everything, medication, diet, exercise, routines.

Finally I just accepted it as the way my body works and stopped fighting it. It doesn't make it any easier to push through the rough days, I just don't have all the stress and anxiety over it like I used to before I found acceptance.

Hope you stay awake until a good time for sleep so tomorrow goes well for you.

PurpleKnight

Hang in there Strat!!

Spacegoat

Scott I probably should have posted this in the mental health forum as it has nothing to do with alcoholism, withdrawals etc although everything to do with my recovery or lack of.

Apart from the fact I have only drank once this year (which was an attempt to get rest because of this ironically as it always was) this is exactly where I was at before I took to drinking every day, granted I was suffering with clinical depression and had every last symptom of c/ptsd also which I do not now for the most part.

I have addiction counselling coming up and although I've rarely drank in years and only smoked cannabis once, I guess there is no such thing as insomnia counselling so I should be happy about that. I think?

Thanks, well it's not so much for me than the kid. I was passing out earlier so I set my alarm and had an hours nap, I feel totally rested now so I do indeed hope to sleep tonight (may well not happen mind).

I'm the same, I used to flip out over this. Drink myself crazy, go total hulk with everyone (from behind a computer which I though was a better idea than real life lol) and it is all over this. Fact.

As you said, I just don't sweat over it anymore. Anytime I am on here I am awake for 2-3 days at a time. I just don't complain as I accept that's the way things are, it's nobodies fault and snapping at people online is not going to help my insomnia much.

The only times I stress over it now is when I have to be somewhere at a particular time because I am either showing up wrecked or I may doze off and miss the train/appointment etc.

I travelled the other day to see my kid with 2 days no sleep, but as thats been several times this summer I knew I would get an energy balance/charge from being with him (strange but true) so thats what kept me going on my journey.

BBB, appreciate the comment but don't even go there man, I know my sleep problems. I'm awake here all the time, day and night. I don't ever complain until things are gone way beyond a crisis situation.

I've been thinking about keeping an insomnia log here for the past while but know what, that would be focusing on the problem which would fuel resentment for me as again I am familiar with.

Instead I post music or items not related to recovery from xyz specifically when I am insomnia tripping usually, although I try to limit that too now as it adds to a false perception of me and unnecessary distractions. Peace.

Anna

Strat, I hope your insomnia eases up and you get some rest tonight.

ScottFromWI

Hope you can find some peace. Do you currently see a therapist for any of these issues?

Spacegoat

Thanks Anna, thats what I've been working towards here it's what I struggled all day here doing nothing for as I often do. I think I will but I cant focus on it either way.

I've never seen a therapist actually Scott, I'm a bit bemused when I read about other people's sessions. I think I could get along with any therapist when rested and really not otherwise (same goes for anyone). I don't interact well with other people at all with my insomnia, I have to keep people at arms length which is why idea's that come up here such as volunteering, looking for work, housesharing and so on are totally not where I'm at at all.

I didn't even make a very good impression at my mental health appointments recently I know because of it, which was in stark contrast to how relatively relaxed, calm, focused and clear in my objectives I was when I made the appointment with the GP. And I had insomnia then it just wasn't nearly as chronic, I've been doing a lot of future tripping as a result of my family law dates even though that was a huge relief and a mission accomplished somewhat.

The psychiatrist when I questioned him about it said that the addiction counselling was a start. And while I was confused about it initially as that's not what I presented with plus my insomnia had gone turbo (which puts a negative spin on everything)having had time to reflect on it he was right. I have an addictive self destructive streak where alcohol is involved whereas I am really quite a responsible person otherwise, and I am definitely open to learning about that.

trachemys

Hey strat. Know the insomnia thing. Even some nights when I can sleep I wake up every hour on the hour.

Some things that might help:

Electronic devices: computers, tablets, phones, TVs emit a light that keeps us awake. Turn them off preferably an hour before you want to sleep.

Set a bedtime. Make going to bed a routine. Shower, pj's, bed at whatever hour.

Try something like chamomile tea to relax. There's a reason it's called Sleepy Time tea. Warm milk works for some. Avoid all stimulants for six hours before bedtime.

Hang in there, man.

Spacegoat

It's reassuring to know I'm not the only one with chunks of sobriety, believe in God, reads books (used toy anyway) etc who suffers with insomnia badly. I thought I was, thanks for that.

That said I was asleep and the other person just woke me once again. Had a listen and she went into the bathroom beside me nagging the toilet seat, blowing her nose and flushing the toilet- 3 times. Turns out its only 1am, and this happens every single time I get an early night. And pretty much in the middle of the night also on the rare occasion that I am asleep then. She is doing it on purpose obviously.

My solicitor is on annual leave, I've been trying to get a hold of her as I want to make a will before I go homeless or whatever. Because this is insane. Unlikely I'l be able to stay off the drink then but sure whatever.

Saskia

Strat, yes, insomnia is a bear!

About the doc's suggesting alcohol counseling first, that's not surprising. When people have addiction issues along with other needs, it's difficult to deal with those other needs when there is addiction. Even if we are not currently drinking, that is still a component.

Also, IMHO, it's not about making a good impression on a psychiatrist or other kind of counselor. For them to help us, we need to "come as we are". I had severe PTSD and went through extensive and intensive treatment for it. That has made a huge difference in my life. I, too, am an insomniac. My psychiatrist helps me deal with that also.

Jsbodhi

I get insomnia a lot too, try to make yourself cold, then get under covers, its weird but it works for me and other insomniacs
Or picture yourself in ice

Spacegoat

Thanks Jsbodhi I was doing that last night actually, I had a bad headache but and was trying to cool down. I got a few hours sleep anyway.

Saskia, yes it is! Also I have been thinking about the addiction counseling from a different standpoint and basically came to that conclusion.

I'm looking forward to it. As for making a good impression, well I don't mean that is my objective but I'm just so tetchy when I haven't slept!

I'm not quite myself, irritable etc and not in the present. Frustrated in trying to plan for the day let alone a future I guess, and restless also.

That's good to know and thank you for sharing it with me. I really feel mature enough now to deal with this stuff and I can't do it all alone.