Zufrieden

Hi all.
I accidentally posted this on a different person's thread earlier today.
That thread was discussing whether folks love or loathe alcohol in sobriety. The post below indicates that I hadn't become clear on that emotion
I'm really sad to admit a lapse in judgement this weekend. I considered keeping it to myself but feel that it violates the spirit of this site. I have too many years of keeping secrets as it is. I told my wife and will fess up at my meeting tomorrow. It's important to me.
I revisited my bold defiantly optimistic posts of the last month and feel ashamed that I brought this on myself. There was no compelling reason for my actions. I was in a good mood and just decided to drink while my family was away. It was such a poor decision. Noting dramatic happened outwardly but I'm torn up inside, torn up with contempt for myself. What a fool I can be.
That's it. I'm back at a high state of vigilance today, back for my second week of meetings and starting with today's date as the new one. June 16 th was such a better one!
A good day to all of you.
Don

p.s. I vote loathe.

least

I failed many times before I finally succeeded. Don't give up.

PurpleKnight

Welcome back Don!! You can do this!!

Ethos23

I don't loathe it. Definitely don't love it either. It is just not for me.

Soberwolf

You can do this Don Talon

Dee74

Many of us faltered a time or two Don - look at what happened, tweak your recovery plan and get straight back up on the right road

D

Boxer

I don't either loathe or love alcohol. I just know I can't allow any in my system because eventually I will loathe myself again if I do. Stay vigilant Don! It's a sneaky S.O.B.

Marcher13

Don you did the best thing, you admitted it, not only does that take guts it also means you're making yourself accountable to yourself and to SR which you obviously value.

Does being alone trigger you? If it does you may want to factor that into your plan.

thomas11

Your honesty is appreciated and will be valuable moving forward IMO. Glad to hear that you are mentally strong in your resolve towards sobriety.

Zebra1275

I told my wife and will fess up at my meeting tomorrow. It's important to me.

Good for you, that takes courage.

Zufrieden

Thanks all!
I appreciate the support.
D

Fly N Buy

Hi Don!

You are well aware you're not alone. Meetings = AA?? If so, have you spoken to or do you have a sponsor at this point?

Honesty in our program is huge as it is for all of us in sobriety. But figuring out what went wrong is the issue.

Keep working, a slip is not the end of the world and 7/20 has a nice ring to it my friend~

keep coming back!

Saskia

Don, I also slipped more times than I can count. What matters is that I am sober now - and I don't want to experience those awful feelings ever again!

Soberpotamus

Don, sometimes it takes more than one try. Don't let it get you down though. Above all, don't let it hinder you getting sober again. It has taken some of us quite a few years of "trying" to get it right. Keep trying.

Zufrieden

Thanks all for the encouragement. Day two again.
Flynbuy...yes, I began AA meetings Saturday one week ago. The experience was great and I've been to several meetings at this point. I am currently re-working my life "schedule" to allow for consistent attendance which I honestly will do but find complicated by work, kids, wife...all of those kinds of already scheduled obligations. I started AA last week because I was not feeling very solid for the first time since quitting. Ironically I then drank? Back at it.
I have some questions about AA that I will post in a separate thread. I don't know folks there well enough to take up meeting time asking.
Thanks all,
D