Le dernier pour la route (the last drink)
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 70
Le dernier pour la route (the last drink)
Hello. So I'm just about to have the 'last drink' and climb out of this self imposed pit that I appear to be lingering in....
For those that say you just need to avoid that first drink, I say yes it's exactly true. If I had of avoided that first drink 3 weeks? ago I would have avoided this vortex of insanity that has seemed to encapsulate me.
I can pinpoint the moment and I can pinpoint the thoughts if that's something.
That first drink spiralled so out of control and led to an avalanch of drink and drugs.
This must stop.
For those that say you just need to avoid that first drink, I say yes it's exactly true. If I had of avoided that first drink 3 weeks? ago I would have avoided this vortex of insanity that has seemed to encapsulate me.
I can pinpoint the moment and I can pinpoint the thoughts if that's something.
That first drink spiralled so out of control and led to an avalanch of drink and drugs.
This must stop.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 70
...and the first test
**** and the first test already...
Just received a whatsapp 'we're going out to a party tonight....come' 23 year old brazilian girl...
but I shouldn't....they left me stranded for dead the last time...
Just received a whatsapp 'we're going out to a party tonight....come' 23 year old brazilian girl...
but I shouldn't....they left me stranded for dead the last time...
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,575
Good to meet you KJ. It sounds like you know what needs to happen. That first drink always led to 10 for me. I had no control once it was in my system. It was becoming dangerous. Glad to have you with us - this is a great place for encouragement.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
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Hi Kerry,
This could be a good time to decide not to respond to texts like that. As Dee said, the lifestyle changes are hard, but necessary. I'm glad you're ready to live a sober life.
This could be a good time to decide not to respond to texts like that. As Dee said, the lifestyle changes are hard, but necessary. I'm glad you're ready to live a sober life.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 70
wrong move Kery
Firstly, thanks for taking the time to respond. I checked the website on my phone this morning and it was a strange and nice thing to see that the thoughts I put out there were acknowledged and responded to. It's appreciated.
Secondly, unfortunately I made the wrong decision. And I'll say this: my instinct/my gut knew it was the wrong decision and I still took it. granted I was under the influence but still.
This girl that contacted me: I met her a few weeks ago in the first five days of this binge (they were the worst, everything after has felt like a sort of maintenance). I was out with a friend and we started talking to her and her group of friends. Long story short, my friend went home and I went to some underground rave type thing in a warehouse. I'm in my late thirties. Substances were taken and I ended the night falling asleep on a couch in the corner of the warehouse. When I woke up there was workers coming in. Nobody who I came with stayed. I said to myself later "I could have OD'ed, I could have been dead and every one of them went without checking"
I swore to delete numbers and change my decision making. Yet I went out with that girl again tonight. Surprise, surprise she wanted someone to buy her booze for the night......
I need to wake the hell up. seriously.
Secondly, unfortunately I made the wrong decision. And I'll say this: my instinct/my gut knew it was the wrong decision and I still took it. granted I was under the influence but still.
This girl that contacted me: I met her a few weeks ago in the first five days of this binge (they were the worst, everything after has felt like a sort of maintenance). I was out with a friend and we started talking to her and her group of friends. Long story short, my friend went home and I went to some underground rave type thing in a warehouse. I'm in my late thirties. Substances were taken and I ended the night falling asleep on a couch in the corner of the warehouse. When I woke up there was workers coming in. Nobody who I came with stayed. I said to myself later "I could have OD'ed, I could have been dead and every one of them went without checking"
I swore to delete numbers and change my decision making. Yet I went out with that girl again tonight. Surprise, surprise she wanted someone to buy her booze for the night......
I need to wake the hell up. seriously.
Not my real name.
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 119
Definitely time for new friends. When I stopped drinking last time (I am only on day 1 now), I realised that my friends were just drinking buddies, and when the booze stopped flowing they were nowhere to be seen. Those are not real friends.
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
They don't sound like real friends to me. Maybe delete some contacts from your phone so you won't even get to hear about the latest party or rave?
Really sorry to hear they just left you anyway, but then drunks can be cruel and thoughtless. Time for change?
I wish you well.
xx
Really sorry to hear they just left you anyway, but then drunks can be cruel and thoughtless. Time for change?
I wish you well.
xx
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 44
whaaat ? paying for her drinks and not even a shag or a little bit of ooh lala?? 
The brazilians I know here at least seem nicer for their men ( we girls call them girls bad names).
Yup, not a good friend to have. Seems like you know what to do
The brazilians I know here at least seem nicer for their men ( we girls call them girls bad names).
Yup, not a good friend to have. Seems like you know what to do
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Join Date: Jul 2015
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Originally Posted by isabelles 
whaaat ? paying for her drinks and not even a shag or a little bit of ooh lala??
The brazilians I know here at least seem nicer for their men ( we girls call them girls bad names).
Yup, not a good friend to have. Seems like you know what to do
The brazilians I know here at least seem nicer for their men ( we girls call them girls bad names).
Yup, not a good friend to have. Seems like you know what to do
The reason I mentioned her nationality was to do with my temptation.....a young hot brazilian texting to go out....just for the record, most brazilians I've come across in my life have been really cool people
anyway, the point was that I should have known after the last time...left stranded...
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
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Glad you checked back in and wishing you the best on day one. There is a better way of life out there waiting for you in recovery.
And, yep, there is a big difference between drinking buddies and my real friends. I have had to change the people, places and things I associate with in sobriety.
And, yep, there is a big difference between drinking buddies and my real friends. I have had to change the people, places and things I associate with in sobriety.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 70
Originally Posted by CaseyW
Glad you checked back in and wishing you the best on day one. There is a better way of life out there waiting for you in recovery.
And, yep, there is a big difference between drinking buddies and my real friends. I have had to change the people, places and things I associate with in sobriety.
And, yep, there is a big difference between drinking buddies and my real friends. I have had to change the people, places and things I associate with in sobriety.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,575
Kery - sometimes we need further proof. It sounds like you're on your way to being ready to take control of your life. Please make it soon, and please be careful. We care about you.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum Kery!! 
For me Sobriety never happened until I made it happen, and that was with some radical change to my actions and activities, getting a plan together, plenty of support in my daily routine and getting revolutionary in my decision making!!
You can do this!!
For me Sobriety never happened until I made it happen, and that was with some radical change to my actions and activities, getting a plan together, plenty of support in my daily routine and getting revolutionary in my decision making!!
You can do this!!
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 70
Let the good times roll, let the good time roll..
Last night Thursday the 9th of July at 11pm I finished my last alcoholic drink. It was a horrible beer and it was rank. Yesterday was the last day for consuming nasty toxinous poisouns. I could feel the beer being absorbed into my body, my organs like sponges drawing in the mucky liquid, which was then pouring out in equal measures from ever pore in my overworked carcass. I felt like shite, but hopeful. I won't ever drink again. Ever. Fact.
If I was to drink, I would get sick. It's a simple as that. I don't want that. I did a little bit of cleaning before going to bed last night and putting bottles and cans into bags, rum vodka jegar beer........and I asked my self what did I get out of it? It's a liquid that gets me addicted, on my knees while my world turns into a mess around me. The food rots in the fridge and my bank account depletes. And for what? and I'm only talking about my own consumption when I say I don't see the point in it anymore.
That liquid can't do any harm to me once I don't put it into my body. I can not be addicted if I'm not consuming it. But if I was to put that first drink into my mouth, that addictive cycle would start up again. Just like smoking, I can only be addicted if I'm putting nicotine in my body. I'm not playing this game anymore.
I want the opposite of addiction: health, happiness, vitality, energy, peace of mind, courage, love, harmony....
Three days of rest and then from Monday I become a Muay Thai fighting, meditating, buddha warrior.
If I was to drink, I would get sick. It's a simple as that. I don't want that. I did a little bit of cleaning before going to bed last night and putting bottles and cans into bags, rum vodka jegar beer........and I asked my self what did I get out of it? It's a liquid that gets me addicted, on my knees while my world turns into a mess around me. The food rots in the fridge and my bank account depletes. And for what? and I'm only talking about my own consumption when I say I don't see the point in it anymore.
That liquid can't do any harm to me once I don't put it into my body. I can not be addicted if I'm not consuming it. But if I was to put that first drink into my mouth, that addictive cycle would start up again. Just like smoking, I can only be addicted if I'm putting nicotine in my body. I'm not playing this game anymore.
I want the opposite of addiction: health, happiness, vitality, energy, peace of mind, courage, love, harmony....
Three days of rest and then from Monday I become a Muay Thai fighting, meditating, buddha warrior.
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