Kimmi0087

My husband, who I have been with for 9 1/2 years, just went through the 28 day program for alcoholics. I am so happy he did.

Last month on the 21st I had finally had enough of the hurt, being ignored, lied to, etc.. that comes with living with an alcoholic and told him I was leaving. The morning of the 22nd he was finally ready to put the beer down and get on the road to recovery.

During his stay there, after the first week, he called me everyday. The first phone call he made to me I told him I would be here when he got back and would be as long as he was willing to make this sobriety work.

It has been a week since I picked him up and brought him home. He is happy now, going to his meetings, making new friends. I am happy for him.

Then there's me. All the hurt, anger, etc.. I kept to myself, because there was no use talking to him, it just fell on deaf ears, has come to the forefront. I have had a couple hard cries. I have thought to myself, "how dare he come home all happy like he didn't cause all this hurt, etc"??? Then I stop and think, this is the way it is suppose to be. But, it still doesn't take away all the hurt I still have inside me from the past years.

I have done a lot of reading on the disease, how to help him through this, how to help myself. I want to be strong again, because I am nowhere near that right now, to be able to be strong for him.

The day I brought him home was the beginning of our new life together. Please help me to heal. I love him so very much and am proud of him for doing this. I want this to work.

changeneeded

Glad you're here, Kimmi. Hoping your Husband recovery continues.

You are right, you are hurt, and it is hard to forget. In fact, you probably won't forget. Did the treatment center he was at encourage counseling for the pair of you in addition to the same for just him? Have you considered counseling for just you?

Trust me, I would feel the same way you are and I bet others here would also.

BlueChair

I had tons of fears and emotions too. I started seeing a therapist on my own, and the rehab also suggested we see one together and do family therapy. Both have helped me process what happened, accept it, share my feelings with my husband, and move on from it.

I also found healing by sharing with my closest friends and family who know me best, know my husband, , and could understand our situation.

Using some of the behavioral tools over at Smart Recovery to help me break down my feelings, see what was behind them, and learn how to keep moving forward.

and last hut not least, falling back on my faith and religious beliefs through church. My husband and I go together.

Kimmi0087

Thank you Changeneeded. If they mentioned it to him, he hasn't said anything. I am going to my first Al Anon meeting tonight to see if that helps me. It was my fault I let it go as far as it did before telling him I was leaving. It allowed me to get more broken down.

I am glad I found this site because it seems it will also help.

ajarlson

Welcome here. But you were not at fault for any of it. We do our best with the bad situations that are handed to us. You did your best, you're still doing your best. And if you have feelings you need to feel, Alanon is a safe place to discover those. Good luck on your journey, we have all either done it, or are in the process of doing it.