Funny 12 Steps
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Funny 12 Steps
12 Steps of Pre-Program ~ 12 Steps Before You Work The 12 Steps ~ Hilarious!!
~ Foreword: In the the profoundly wise immortal words of Bill Wilson: "Please, Lord, teach us to laugh again; but, God, don't ever let us forget that we cried." ~
1. We admitted we were powerless over nothing - that we could manage our lives perfectly and those of anyone else who would allow us.
2. Came to believe there was no power greater than ourselves and the rest of the world was insane.
3. Made a decision to have our loved ones and friends turn their wills and lives over to our care even though they couldn't understand us at all.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral and immoral inventory of everyone we knew.
5. Admitted to the whole world at large the exact nature of everyone else's wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to make others straighten up and do right.
7. Demanded others to either "shape up or ship out."
8. Made a list of all persons who had harmed us and became willing to go to any lengths to get even with them all.
9. Got direct revenge wherever possible. Except when to do so would cost us our own lives or at least a stiff jail sentence.
10. Continued to take the inventory of others and when they were wrong promptly and repeatedly told them about it.
11. Sought through bitching, complaining, and nagging to improve our relations with others as we couldn't understand them at all, asking only that they knuckle under and do things our way.
12. Having had a complete physical, emotional and spiritual breakdown as a result of these steps, we tried to blame others and to get sympathy and pity in all our affairs.
~ Foreword: In the the profoundly wise immortal words of Bill Wilson: "Please, Lord, teach us to laugh again; but, God, don't ever let us forget that we cried." ~
1. We admitted we were powerless over nothing - that we could manage our lives perfectly and those of anyone else who would allow us.
2. Came to believe there was no power greater than ourselves and the rest of the world was insane.
3. Made a decision to have our loved ones and friends turn their wills and lives over to our care even though they couldn't understand us at all.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral and immoral inventory of everyone we knew.
5. Admitted to the whole world at large the exact nature of everyone else's wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to make others straighten up and do right.
7. Demanded others to either "shape up or ship out."
8. Made a list of all persons who had harmed us and became willing to go to any lengths to get even with them all.
9. Got direct revenge wherever possible. Except when to do so would cost us our own lives or at least a stiff jail sentence.
10. Continued to take the inventory of others and when they were wrong promptly and repeatedly told them about it.
11. Sought through bitching, complaining, and nagging to improve our relations with others as we couldn't understand them at all, asking only that they knuckle under and do things our way.
12. Having had a complete physical, emotional and spiritual breakdown as a result of these steps, we tried to blame others and to get sympathy and pity in all our affairs.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
There are a couple guys in my group who are fond of saying (when we read the Steps at the beginning of the meeting) "Sought through beer and medication...." It kinda stops being funny after a while.
Although I always liked "Were entirely ready to have God remove these defective characters."
Although I always liked "Were entirely ready to have God remove these defective characters."
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
