new phase?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 3
new phase?
First time post. 35 yo male. Just hit 3 years sober 2 months back. Those three years started of rough but i fought the fight. If i handt quit i would be divorced homless and kid less but luckily i saw the written on the wall. I progessed nicely and life improved over time. New car. New house. New position at work. Alls good. Now. Im in a rut. I plateaued. Just back to the daily grind with no real progression. I find my self being irritable short tempered cant have fun cant relax cant stop over analyzing everything. Anexity. Over just not to happy.
Is this a new phase of recovery? How can i get out of my head and relax.
Is this a new phase of recovery? How can i get out of my head and relax.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi and welcome flipper 
did you make any other changes apart from not drinking?
I really had to embrace change because my old life was a lot about drinking - trying to live that old life was impossible for the sober me I was becoming?
I have a life that 'fits' me now and I love it
D
did you make any other changes apart from not drinking?
I really had to embrace change because my old life was a lot about drinking - trying to live that old life was impossible for the sober me I was becoming?
I have a life that 'fits' me now and I love it
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 3
I quit smoking a few months before drinking. Other than that just work stress increased. I find myself thinking about the days before drinking then about the 15 years i was in a dark cloud. I will say part of me misses the care free go with the flow attutude. Im hard on myself and always compare my lufe to others. Where should i be vs where i am type stuff. Its tiring
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 1,972
Originally Posted by flipper0512 
I quit smoking a few months before drinking. Other than that just work stress increased. I find myself thinking about the days before drinking then about the 15 years i was in a dark cloud. I will say part of me misses the care free go with the flow attutude. Im hard on myself and always compare my lufe to others. Where should i be vs where i am type stuff. Its tiring
Did your work stress increase because of a promotion? Do you like your new position?
I had reached a point a couple of years ago where no amount of vacation was leaving me refreshed and ready to go back to work. I resigned and took an extended vacation. I like my new job much better. It's more interesting and less stressful.
I left the competitive me behind, but I am much older than you. Oddly enough, I seem to have more opportunities for advancement now. Go figure.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,055
The feeling of being in a rut is not nice, I think they can lead to a sort of depression.
A vacation sounds nice, something to look forward too.
I like a new project..Is there something that you are interested in and haven't yet got around to it!
A vacation sounds nice, something to look forward too.
I like a new project..Is there something that you are interested in and haven't yet got around to it!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
Congratulations on your 3 years.
My feelings were a lot earlier than yours but this disease affect us differently.
Yes stopping was a great accomplishment but my “system” needed to be refilled with something healthy due to alcohols departure. I was what they called a dry drunk, at times feeling, acting and reacting like I was still drinking.
Friends in the fellowship strongly suggested to overcome this stagnation by action and work by participation in working on the 12 steps of the program. Step one is the hardest for many but I had accomplished that a few months previously so the rest were logical even for this NON religious person.
For many it’s not a one time shot and each time becomes a time of rediscovery and satisfaction.
BE WELL
Congratulations on your 3 years.
My feelings were a lot earlier than yours but this disease affect us differently.
Yes stopping was a great accomplishment but my “system” needed to be refilled with something healthy due to alcohols departure. I was what they called a dry drunk, at times feeling, acting and reacting like I was still drinking.
Friends in the fellowship strongly suggested to overcome this stagnation by action and work by participation in working on the 12 steps of the program. Step one is the hardest for many but I had accomplished that a few months previously so the rest were logical even for this NON religious person.
For many it’s not a one time shot and each time becomes a time of rediscovery and satisfaction.
BE WELL
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Welcome to the family. Can you start a new hobby? Or what about volunteering in your community? That's a good way to get out of your own head and make new friends.
Congrats on over three years sober!
Can you start a new hobby? Or what about volunteering in your community? That's a good way to get out of your own head and make new friends.Congrats on over three years sober!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 3
Ive always had hobbies but past few years just no time. I got back into reef keeping which is nice and distracting but a chore as well. I honestly think i have add or something along the lines of a focus and attenion disorder. I can not look far ahead enough to focus on large task but cant focus on task at hand cause im to busy thinking about everything else.
Calenders and planner and daily task trackers help but i easiler get overwhelmed with nonimportant mundane low lying task and not the important things in life. All this leads to anxeity and furstration. Grrrrr.
Thanks for listening.
Calenders and planner and daily task trackers help but i easiler get overwhelmed with nonimportant mundane low lying task and not the important things in life. All this leads to anxeity and furstration. Grrrrr.
Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 80
I, too, am feeling in a rut and feel trapped in my own head. The best advice I was given was to try to find a small reward each day. A show, a walk, a bowl of ice cream, anything.
I know about the over scheduling as well. Constantly thinking about what comes next.
I really think that doing something outside helps a lot. Horseback riding for me has been the best stress reliever and escape from reality. Taking a vacation soon, will be my year anniversary. In fact, it was on this annual vacation last year that I decided to quit. I was blacked out (again), yelling profanities to some neighbors at our beachfront condo. I almost fell over the balcony. That feeling in the morning, wine stained teeth, pounding headache, regret.
Now I remember why I am doing this, but it's so hard. But nothing worth doing is ever easy, right?
I know about the over scheduling as well. Constantly thinking about what comes next.
I really think that doing something outside helps a lot. Horseback riding for me has been the best stress reliever and escape from reality. Taking a vacation soon, will be my year anniversary. In fact, it was on this annual vacation last year that I decided to quit. I was blacked out (again), yelling profanities to some neighbors at our beachfront condo. I almost fell over the balcony. That feeling in the morning, wine stained teeth, pounding headache, regret.
Now I remember why I am doing this, but it's so hard. But nothing worth doing is ever easy, right?
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
