Girlie928

Caution: I am only 5 days without alcohol; BS might follow.

I have tried to get sober so many times that I now do not trust my own thinking. I realize I don't know anything about sobriety, except that alcohol must be removed from the equation before I have any chance at sobriety. The last 5 days it seems I have had several revelations about myself. 1) Nothing that I have thought or tried has led me to sobriety. 2) A lot of what I have said and done about achieving sobriety has been BS. 3) I have several self-destructive behaviors, consumption of alcohol being one of them.

The good news is although I engaged in a couple of self-destructive behaviors today, consumption of alcohol was not one of them. In a few hours I will lay my sober head on my pillow one more night.

Peace and calm to everyone.

Yazzylove

Hey Girlie

I found that being sober is really starting to rock! A concept I always heard people say but always rolled my eyes thinking 'yeah for them but not for me' but it turns out that waking up over and over and over again sober for 55 days has been such a blessing!

Stick around!

least

Congrats on five days sober! In a week I'll have five and a half years, and yes, living sober really rocks.

Ruby2

Well done on five days. When I stopped I realized that removing alcohol from the equation was only the first step. I had to replace the drinking with healthier choices. Coming here is part of that. I also had to relearn living without relying on the bottle.

Keep going.

ishallnotwant

Agree with Ruby2. Stopping drinking is the first step; getting sober is a lifelong learning process. I have to learn to identify what I'm feeling and then reach out to others and look up strategies to learn how to manage those feelings instead of hiding from them by drinking. I have a very long list of emotions written down to help me identify how I'm feeling because a lot of times I think I'm "angry" or "lonely" and discover that I'm actually "afraid". I drank through the years when I should have been learning this, so have to learn it now, but it helps me stay sober

SunriseSky

I think it's great that you are being so honest with yourself - not an easy thing to do in those early days without alcohol. Best of luck Girlie. We are all cheering you on!

Dee74

I couldn't trust my thinking for a while either Girlie - I'd been polluting my mind for years...but it soon cleared up and I found that I was a lot more reliable than I ever though I was.

I still make mistakes but I know I can trust my gut now...more or less

D