question for you
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question for you
Hi there,
I've read a few times about significant times in early sobriety. 30, 60 and 90 days have been mentioned a few times and I'd like to know more and what they mean to people with more experience.
Tomorrow I will have achieved 9 weeks, (63 days), so I've passed the 30 and 60 heading ( I really hope ) towards the 90, but seems a way off.
Are they risky times for relapse? Does the 90 mark mean the poison has left your body completely? Are these known times for particular struggles? All that sort of stuff I'd love to hear from others about their experience.
I'm very emotional compared to when I was drinking every day and whilst feel proud of myself and physically much better, my problems seem bigger and I don't feel I've any new / better ways to deal with them. Just know drinking never helped me.
I've read a few times about significant times in early sobriety. 30, 60 and 90 days have been mentioned a few times and I'd like to know more and what they mean to people with more experience.
Tomorrow I will have achieved 9 weeks, (63 days), so I've passed the 30 and 60 heading ( I really hope ) towards the 90, but seems a way off.
Are they risky times for relapse? Does the 90 mark mean the poison has left your body completely? Are these known times for particular struggles? All that sort of stuff I'd love to hear from others about their experience.
I'm very emotional compared to when I was drinking every day and whilst feel proud of myself and physically much better, my problems seem bigger and I don't feel I've any new / better ways to deal with them. Just know drinking never helped me.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 122
Originally Posted by FarToGo 
Hi there,
I've read a few times about significant times in early sobriety. 30, 60 and 90 days have been mentioned a few times and I'd like to know more and what they mean to people with more experience.
Tomorrow I will have achieved 9 weeks, (63 days), so I've passed the 30 and 60 heading ( I really hope ) towards the 90, but seems a way off.
Are they risky times for relapse? Does the 90 mark mean the poison has left your body completely? Are these known times for particular struggles? All that sort of stuff I'd love to hear from others about their experience.
I'm very emotional compared to when I was drinking every day and whilst feel proud of myself and physically much better, my problems seem bigger and I don't feel I've any new / better ways to deal with them. Just know drinking never helped me.
I've read a few times about significant times in early sobriety. 30, 60 and 90 days have been mentioned a few times and I'd like to know more and what they mean to people with more experience.
Tomorrow I will have achieved 9 weeks, (63 days), so I've passed the 30 and 60 heading ( I really hope ) towards the 90, but seems a way off.
Are they risky times for relapse? Does the 90 mark mean the poison has left your body completely? Are these known times for particular struggles? All that sort of stuff I'd love to hear from others about their experience.
I'm very emotional compared to when I was drinking every day and whilst feel proud of myself and physically much better, my problems seem bigger and I don't feel I've any new / better ways to deal with them. Just know drinking never helped me.
The 30 day milestone is a really significant one IMHO because by that point you're through most of the physical effects of withdrawal.
After that point, the milestone are mainly psychological. They give you something to aim for and celebrate.
There are some tendencies. The first 90 days offers a strong grieving process imho. Drink has been a significant portion of your life for so long and you are coming to grips with the fact of all the things you were using drink to hide from are still there. The first two years are a rebuilding process with regular steady progress that isn't always visible. By the end of this process your life will be much better. After that your long term sobriety stage kicks in when your problems are ordinary problems and you find out life isn't all fluffy bunnies and pink unicorns but you are able to deal with the problems without drinking.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi and congratulations.
As we know this alcoholism we have reacts differently yet has common reactions among us.
When we get the alcohol out of our system and our mental and emotional side START to get repaired by not feeding ourselves alcohol we act/react differently.
I and most who are in recovery find we need to concentrate on recognize and repair the reasons we ended up the way we did and that can be time consuming but very rewarding.
I needed the fellowship of the AA PROGRAM on a continual basis because of the people contact and discipline I learned. There are other programs that we can get sober with but I question the longevity of them as people have a tendency to get busy and drift off.
We need reminders of others that we are not cured of this disease as it’s progressive but we hold it in check if we don’t drink.
I keep thinking that alcohol is powerful, baffling, cunning and insidious always ready to take us down so we need protection from it’s aggressiveness.
BE WELL
As we know this alcoholism we have reacts differently yet has common reactions among us.
When we get the alcohol out of our system and our mental and emotional side START to get repaired by not feeding ourselves alcohol we act/react differently.
I and most who are in recovery find we need to concentrate on recognize and repair the reasons we ended up the way we did and that can be time consuming but very rewarding.
I needed the fellowship of the AA PROGRAM on a continual basis because of the people contact and discipline I learned. There are other programs that we can get sober with but I question the longevity of them as people have a tendency to get busy and drift off.
We need reminders of others that we are not cured of this disease as it’s progressive but we hold it in check if we don’t drink.
I keep thinking that alcohol is powerful, baffling, cunning and insidious always ready to take us down so we need protection from it’s aggressiveness.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 1,972
Originally Posted by lighter
There are some tendencies. The first 90 days offers a strong grieving process imho. Drink has been a significant portion of your life for so long and you are coming to grips with the fact of all the things you were using drink to hide from are still there. The first two years are a rebuilding process with regular steady progress that isn't always visible. By the end of this process your life will be much better. After that your long term sobriety stage kicks in when your problems are ordinary problems and you find out life isn't all fluffy bunnies and pink unicorns but you are able to deal with the problems without drinking.
This second go at sobriety feels very different from the first. My relapse wasn't that bad in terms of the overall amount of alcohol I drank. I understand that this is not typical. Most people try to "catch up" on their drinking. Anyway, my point is that I was in better physical shape this time around. I seem to be much more aware of the psychological and emotional changes this time. I am also doing more to constructively cope with stress. The first time around, I simply ran away from stress.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Recovery is a journey not a destination. I think time is a very bad measure whether it is 2 days or 20 years.
I prefer to look at accomplishments. Do I have a sober network of friends? Have I dealt with my shame and guilt? Have I replaced my drinking time with healthy sober activities? Have I repaired relationships with loved ones? Am I working on the root causes of why I drank.
Putting the plug in the jug is only the first step in a lifetime of work but the rewards are well worth the effort
I prefer to look at accomplishments. Do I have a sober network of friends? Have I dealt with my shame and guilt? Have I replaced my drinking time with healthy sober activities? Have I repaired relationships with loved ones? Am I working on the root causes of why I drank.
Putting the plug in the jug is only the first step in a lifetime of work but the rewards are well worth the effort
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
Originally Posted by lighter
I've been thinking about this post a little.
The 30 day milestone is a really significant one IMHO because by that point you're through most of the physical effects of withdrawal.
After that point, the milestone are mainly psychological. They give you something to aim for and celebrate.
There are some tendencies. The first 90 days offers a strong grieving process imho. Drink has been a significant portion of your life for so long and you are coming to grips with the fact of all the things you were using drink to hide from are still there. The first two years are a rebuilding process with regular steady progress that isn't always visible. By the end of this process your life will be much better. After that your long term sobriety stage kicks in when your problems are ordinary problems and you find out life isn't all fluffy bunnies and pink unicorns but you are able to deal with the problems without drinking.
The 30 day milestone is a really significant one IMHO because by that point you're through most of the physical effects of withdrawal.
After that point, the milestone are mainly psychological. They give you something to aim for and celebrate.
There are some tendencies. The first 90 days offers a strong grieving process imho. Drink has been a significant portion of your life for so long and you are coming to grips with the fact of all the things you were using drink to hide from are still there. The first two years are a rebuilding process with regular steady progress that isn't always visible. By the end of this process your life will be much better. After that your long term sobriety stage kicks in when your problems are ordinary problems and you find out life isn't all fluffy bunnies and pink unicorns but you are able to deal with the problems without drinking.
Never had a life of bunnies and fluff, I drank for 30 years to cope / block out plenty..... a common story I know.
thanks
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
Originally Posted by sugarbear1
Every 30 days marks new changes in our bodies and we can often become really emotional....
Keep moving forward in recovery and discover the changes in yourself!!
Keep moving forward in recovery and discover the changes in yourself!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
Originally Posted by IOAA2
Hi and congratulations.
As we know this alcoholism we have reacts differently yet has common reactions among us.
When we get the alcohol out of our system and our mental and emotional side START to get repaired by not feeding ourselves alcohol we act/react differently.
I and most who are in recovery find we need to concentrate on recognize and repair the reasons we ended up the way we did and that can be time consuming but very rewarding.
I needed the fellowship of the AA PROGRAM on a continual basis because of the people contact and discipline I learned. There are other programs that we can get sober with but I question the longevity of them as people have a tendency to get busy and drift off.
We need reminders of others that we are not cured of this disease as it’s progressive but we hold it in check if we don’t drink.
I keep thinking that alcohol is powerful, baffling, cunning and insidious always ready to take us down so we need protection from it’s aggressiveness.
BE WELL
As we know this alcoholism we have reacts differently yet has common reactions among us.
When we get the alcohol out of our system and our mental and emotional side START to get repaired by not feeding ourselves alcohol we act/react differently.
I and most who are in recovery find we need to concentrate on recognize and repair the reasons we ended up the way we did and that can be time consuming but very rewarding.
I needed the fellowship of the AA PROGRAM on a continual basis because of the people contact and discipline I learned. There are other programs that we can get sober with but I question the longevity of them as people have a tendency to get busy and drift off.
We need reminders of others that we are not cured of this disease as it’s progressive but we hold it in check if we don’t drink.
I keep thinking that alcohol is powerful, baffling, cunning and insidious always ready to take us down so we need protection from it’s aggressiveness.
BE WELL
You be / stay well too.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 122
Originally Posted by FarToGo
Many thanks for your thoughtful reply, not sure what IMHO is?
Never had a life of bunnies and fluff, I drank for 30 years to cope / block out plenty..... a common story I know.
thanks
Never had a life of bunnies and fluff, I drank for 30 years to cope / block out plenty..... a common story I know.
thanks
Lots of people think one of two things subconsciously - either getting sober will return them to their pre-drinking days - or that everything will be great if they just give up drinking.
Neither is really true.
For a start, the world has moved on since you started drinking.
The second is trueish, but there are still lots of problems, it's just that you've got a better chance of solving them than if you are drinking.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
Sobriety is very much a process.
30 days-The first 30 days were pretty rough for me. I had to learn new strategies to cope with emotions, started developing new habits that would keep me from drinking, and there was a lot of physical healing going on. I was very tired the first month. The cravings (psychological) were very intense the first 2 weeks for me. Everything was new.
60 days-still had a lot of cravings some days and they could be hard. I was starting to feel like I was getting into a rhythm, although there was still a lot of newness in terms of dealing with emotions without alcohol. The tiredness for me wore off around 40 days continuous sobriety.
90 days-same thing as 60 days, but dealing with the emotions was getting to feel more normal versus abnormal. However, I noticed about this time I was getting stronger. It wasn't an automatic anymore for me to think of alcohol when something went wrong, but there were some really hard days in there, which I got through.
I've noticed a lot of people do pretty well until about 4 months. I am not sure what it is about 4 months, but I had some hard early days at 4 months of continuous sobriety. Part of it for me was the change in weather. Cravings still popped up and could be hard at 4 months.
After a really rough patch at 5 months in terms of feeling like I was in early recovery (tiredness and cravings) and getting through it, the cravings are really just background noise. If I see alcohol it just doesn't have the draw or the power it once did. I am now at over 6 months of continuous sobriety.
30 days-The first 30 days were pretty rough for me. I had to learn new strategies to cope with emotions, started developing new habits that would keep me from drinking, and there was a lot of physical healing going on. I was very tired the first month. The cravings (psychological) were very intense the first 2 weeks for me. Everything was new.
60 days-still had a lot of cravings some days and they could be hard. I was starting to feel like I was getting into a rhythm, although there was still a lot of newness in terms of dealing with emotions without alcohol. The tiredness for me wore off around 40 days continuous sobriety.
90 days-same thing as 60 days, but dealing with the emotions was getting to feel more normal versus abnormal. However, I noticed about this time I was getting stronger. It wasn't an automatic anymore for me to think of alcohol when something went wrong, but there were some really hard days in there, which I got through.
I've noticed a lot of people do pretty well until about 4 months. I am not sure what it is about 4 months, but I had some hard early days at 4 months of continuous sobriety. Part of it for me was the change in weather. Cravings still popped up and could be hard at 4 months.
After a really rough patch at 5 months in terms of feeling like I was in early recovery (tiredness and cravings) and getting through it, the cravings are really just background noise. If I see alcohol it just doesn't have the draw or the power it once did. I am now at over 6 months of continuous sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
The 90 day mark is where I got cocky last time, I thought I could handle an occasional glass of wine. I gradually returned to wine every night again, I just stopped again two weeks ago. Most people I know think 2-3 glasses of wine at night is fine and not a problem, however, it was my outlet, and not a positive one.
Welcome to SR.!
Welcome to SR.!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Some people do believe in cycles and some of us do have tropuble on those milestone days - often tho I think it's because they've planned to do 90 days or whatever and haven't really thought beyond that...
like someone else said often the sense of achievement, couple with no firther plan, can lead to auto pilot and thoughts of a drink.
I'd hate anyone to think relapse was inevitable tho - that's just not true
D
like someone else said often the sense of achievement, couple with no firther plan, can lead to auto pilot and thoughts of a drink.
I'd hate anyone to think relapse was inevitable tho - that's just not true
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
There was definitely a rather strange feeling of Wait a second, this is......for real? Like, really? Like forever?
It took me quite awhile to simply understand that I was on a different path and I was not going to go back.
As somebody who has struggled with my weight and used to go on fad diets I was always looking forward to that piece of cheesecake on Christmas or my birthday, like the diet had an endpoint. And debates about silly diets aside, I knew that I would have cake every now and then, just not like I did before.
Long story shirt, it took me quite a while to accept that there would be no "cake" at Christmas or any other day for that matter. I think I was going through mourning.
However, what made this time different was simply that I wanted sobriety. I wanted sobriety and all the positives more than I wanted to drink. In all my past failed attempts I still looked forward to that drink at Christmas even if my sobriety started on valentines day. That "Christmas drink" always came within 72 hours.
Anyways, back on topic, I think it's a mourning process and realizing holy moly, this is forever. But forever is good.
It took me quite awhile to simply understand that I was on a different path and I was not going to go back.
As somebody who has struggled with my weight and used to go on fad diets I was always looking forward to that piece of cheesecake on Christmas or my birthday, like the diet had an endpoint. And debates about silly diets aside, I knew that I would have cake every now and then, just not like I did before.
Long story shirt, it took me quite a while to accept that there would be no "cake" at Christmas or any other day for that matter. I think I was going through mourning.
However, what made this time different was simply that I wanted sobriety. I wanted sobriety and all the positives more than I wanted to drink. In all my past failed attempts I still looked forward to that drink at Christmas even if my sobriety started on valentines day. That "Christmas drink" always came within 72 hours.
Anyways, back on topic, I think it's a mourning process and realizing holy moly, this is forever. But forever is good.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
Originally Posted by MelindaFlowers
There was definitely a rather strange feeling of Wait a second, this is......for real? Like, really? Like forever?
It took me quite awhile to simply understand that I was on a different path and I was not going to go back.
As somebody who has struggled with my weight and used to go on fad diets I was always looking forward to that piece of cheesecake on Christmas or my birthday, like the diet had an endpoint. And debates about silly diets aside, I knew that I would have cake every now and then, just not like I did before.
Long story shirt, it took me quite a while to accept that there would be no "cake" at Christmas or any other day for that matter. I think I was going through mourning.
However, what made this time different was simply that I wanted sobriety. I wanted sobriety and all the positives more than I wanted to drink. In all my past failed attempts I still looked forward to that drink at Christmas even if my sobriety started on valentines day. That "Christmas drink" always came within 72 hours.
Anyways, back on topic, I think it's a mourning process and realizing holy moly, this is forever. But forever is good.
It took me quite awhile to simply understand that I was on a different path and I was not going to go back.
As somebody who has struggled with my weight and used to go on fad diets I was always looking forward to that piece of cheesecake on Christmas or my birthday, like the diet had an endpoint. And debates about silly diets aside, I knew that I would have cake every now and then, just not like I did before.
Long story shirt, it took me quite a while to accept that there would be no "cake" at Christmas or any other day for that matter. I think I was going through mourning.
However, what made this time different was simply that I wanted sobriety. I wanted sobriety and all the positives more than I wanted to drink. In all my past failed attempts I still looked forward to that drink at Christmas even if my sobriety started on valentines day. That "Christmas drink" always came within 72 hours.
Anyways, back on topic, I think it's a mourning process and realizing holy moly, this is forever. But forever is good.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
Originally Posted by Delilah1
The 90 day mark is where I got cocky last time, I thought I could handle an occasional glass of wine. I gradually returned to wine every night again, I just stopped again two weeks ago. Most people I know think 2-3 glasses of wine at night is fine and not a problem, however, it was my outlet, and not a positive one.
Welcome to SR.!
Welcome to SR.!
thank you x
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
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Originally Posted by strategery
Sobriety is very much a process.
30 days-The first 30 days were pretty rough for me. I had to learn new strategies to cope with emotions, started developing new habits that would keep me from drinking, and there was a lot of physical healing going on. I was very tired the first month. The cravings (psychological) were very intense the first 2 weeks for me. Everything was new.
60 days-still had a lot of cravings some days and they could be hard. I was starting to feel like I was getting into a rhythm, although there was still a lot of newness in terms of dealing with emotions without alcohol. The tiredness for me wore off around 40 days continuous sobriety.
90 days-same thing as 60 days, but dealing with the emotions was getting to feel more normal versus abnormal. However, I noticed about this time I was getting stronger. It wasn't an automatic anymore for me to think of alcohol when something went wrong, but there were some really hard days in there, which I got through.
I've noticed a lot of people do pretty well until about 4 months. I am not sure what it is about 4 months, but I had some hard early days at 4 months of continuous sobriety. Part of it for me was the change in weather. Cravings still popped up and could be hard at 4 months.
After a really rough patch at 5 months in terms of feeling like I was in early recovery (tiredness and cravings) and getting through it, the cravings are really just background noise. If I see alcohol it just doesn't have the draw or the power it once did. I am now at over 6 months of continuous sobriety.
30 days-The first 30 days were pretty rough for me. I had to learn new strategies to cope with emotions, started developing new habits that would keep me from drinking, and there was a lot of physical healing going on. I was very tired the first month. The cravings (psychological) were very intense the first 2 weeks for me. Everything was new.
60 days-still had a lot of cravings some days and they could be hard. I was starting to feel like I was getting into a rhythm, although there was still a lot of newness in terms of dealing with emotions without alcohol. The tiredness for me wore off around 40 days continuous sobriety.
90 days-same thing as 60 days, but dealing with the emotions was getting to feel more normal versus abnormal. However, I noticed about this time I was getting stronger. It wasn't an automatic anymore for me to think of alcohol when something went wrong, but there were some really hard days in there, which I got through.
I've noticed a lot of people do pretty well until about 4 months. I am not sure what it is about 4 months, but I had some hard early days at 4 months of continuous sobriety. Part of it for me was the change in weather. Cravings still popped up and could be hard at 4 months.
After a really rough patch at 5 months in terms of feeling like I was in early recovery (tiredness and cravings) and getting through it, the cravings are really just background noise. If I see alcohol it just doesn't have the draw or the power it once did. I am now at over 6 months of continuous sobriety.
You've done brilliantly x
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Join Date: May 2015
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Originally Posted by lighter
IMHO - means "in my humble opinion" - or, in other words, other people might disagree with what I think and that's all good.
Lots of people think one of two things subconsciously - either getting sober will return them to their pre-drinking days - or that everything will be great if they just give up drinking.
Neither is really true.
For a start, the world has moved on since you started drinking.
The second is trueish, but there are still lots of problems, it's just that you've got a better chance of solving them than if you are drinking.
Lots of people think one of two things subconsciously - either getting sober will return them to their pre-drinking days - or that everything will be great if they just give up drinking.
Neither is really true.
For a start, the world has moved on since you started drinking.
The second is trueish, but there are still lots of problems, it's just that you've got a better chance of solving them than if you are drinking.
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