lighter

I've been thinking about this step...

I'm a blackout drunk. I know that. I know that if I drink a single shot, then I'll drink until I vomit and black out.

But I haven't taken that first drink for six years... so am I powerless over alcohol?

I think I am. Even though I can choose to not drink the only way I can do it on my own isn't healthy. It hurts me, hurts those around me. Replacing alcohol with other addictions, isolating, lying, being irresponsible. Being not as good a human as I could be. In its own way just giving up drink by my own willpower is just a slower death sentence...

So, I'm powerless over alcohol.

And my life was unmanageable even before I took my first drink...

Boleo

I suffered from alcohol-issues as a result of drinking.

I suffered from alcohol-ism as a result of not-drinking.

The only long-term solution that I found was to work an end-of-suffering program.

"If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves."
(page 83-84)