Riverbird

So my friend just admitted to me that she relapsed. Well, she said that she's, "not sure" and that it's "maybe a relapse." For my sobriety even the smallest sip would have to be considered a relapse because otherwise there would be too much potential wiggle room for me. (Unless it's a case of being given the wrong drink at a restaurant and not knowing what it is or something like that...).

My friend told me that she had been out with another friend (not in recovery) who had gotten a drink with alcohol in it and she had asked for and taken a sip of it. She said that she didn't like it at all, but it made her realize she wasn't in a good place so she started going to lots more meetings.

We were talking about low points we'd hit in sobriety and she just said it out of the blue, so it really caught me off guard. She didn't directly ask my thoughts on it, but said something like, "I don't know if that means I relapsed. Maybe I did?" I just said, "You've got to be careful with that kind of thing." I really didn't know what else to say. Should I say anything else or just let it go? It happened a while ago and she's been doing well now; going to meetings and as far as I can tell working a solid program with her sponsor (don't know if she's told her sponsor about this). This probably sounds like i'm over-inserting myself into her business, but I don't know if being a good friend here means focusing on my side of the street or helping her hold herself accountable.

This is my best friend in sobriety and we talk about EVERYTHING, even when it's tough stuff. If the tables were turned I think I'd want her to knock some sense into me, but at the same time she's doing all the right things now so maybe just letting it go isn't a big deal? (Though it would personally drive me crazy to know I'd had a drink after my sobriety date!)

Thanks for listening to my ramblings.

Gottalife

I might call it a lapse in judgement, a small aberation but no harm seems to have been done.

She was honest with you about it, and seems to have learned a good lesson. Don't read too much into it. If it was a bigger mistake, it will catch up and there would be nothing you could do about that anyway. If she was honest with you, the chances are she has been honest with her sponsor.

You are a good friend

Music

Yup, I agree with Mike. Seems like she's being honest and concerned enough to come clean with you. A SLIP is said to be "a sudden lapse in priorities". Could be she just wasn't thinking. I'd say if it bothers her, she can start over, or if she can resolve it without guilt, just move on and don't do it again.