Spouse New to Recovery
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 8
Spouse New to Recovery
My spouse just recently came home after 4 months at a treatment program for alcoholics. While residing in there we wrote, and spoke ALL the time, and all counselors said he did great, and everything seemed to be on track.
Now that he is home, there are MANY challenges we are facing. He found a new job within two weeks of being home and now works A LOT. We are trying to work on his new work stress and his new "habits". Some of which are his mood swings, and what seems like a lot of anger towards myself. I am trying to be supportive, yet it seems most of everything i do aggravates him.
Is this normal? is there anything i can do, or stop doing? I thought since he was doing so well in treatment, this would be a breeze...now seems everything, especially our relationship, is so difficult. Even more so than when he was drinking before.
Now that he is home, there are MANY challenges we are facing. He found a new job within two weeks of being home and now works A LOT. We are trying to work on his new work stress and his new "habits". Some of which are his mood swings, and what seems like a lot of anger towards myself. I am trying to be supportive, yet it seems most of everything i do aggravates him.
Is this normal? is there anything i can do, or stop doing? I thought since he was doing so well in treatment, this would be a breeze...now seems everything, especially our relationship, is so difficult. Even more so than when he was drinking before.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,787
Welcome! 
Early recovery is a very emotional time. Mood swings are common. Is counseling an option for the two of you? Have you asked him how you can best support him? If not, ask him.
We also have a friends and family forum for alcoholics' loved ones going thru what you're going thru.
Try not to take it personally. He is going thru a lot of changes.
Early recovery is a very emotional time. Mood swings are common. Is counseling an option for the two of you? Have you asked him how you can best support him? If not, ask him. We also have a friends and family forum for alcoholics' loved ones going thru what you're going thru.
Try not to take it personally. He is going thru a lot of changes.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,205
As Least says there is a Friends and Family thread where you can get a response from people in the same situation.
You are being supportive (and your not the one with 5he drink problem) so tell your partner that his mood swingsare one thing but anger directed at you is not acceptable.
I am an alcoholic in recovery , that doesn't exempt me from civilised behaviour or give me freedom to abuse those closest to me
You are being supportive (and your not the one with 5he drink problem) so tell your partner that his mood swingsare one thing but anger directed at you is not acceptable.
I am an alcoholic in recovery , that doesn't exempt me from civilised behaviour or give me freedom to abuse those closest to me
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
A common thread I hear from friends in the rooms is the challenge to adjusting to life after treatment. They state it is difficult to go from highly structured, supportive environment back out in the real world.
What did they suggest as continued treatment on the outside??
What did they suggest as continued treatment on the outside??
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 831
In the treatment center he was in a safe environment. He was told what to do and how to do it. Now that he's out he has to learn how to cope and navigate the real world without his previous method of dealing with stress and emotions. It's like starting recovery from the very beginning.
I recommend you go to either a Codependents Anonymous or an Al-Anon meeting.
We are powerless over others. We cannot control them, only how we react and interact with them.
I recommend you go to either a Codependents Anonymous or an Al-Anon meeting.
We are powerless over others. We cannot control them, only how we react and interact with them.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,205
As Least says there is a Friends and Family thread where you can get a response from people in the same situation.
You are being supportive (and your not the one with 5he drink problem) so tell your partner that his mood swingsare one thing but anger directed at you is not acceptable.
I am an alcoholic in recovery , that doesn't exempt me from civilised behaviour or give me freedom to abuse those closest to me
You are being supportive (and your not the one with 5he drink problem) so tell your partner that his mood swingsare one thing but anger directed at you is not acceptable.
I am an alcoholic in recovery , that doesn't exempt me from civilised behaviour or give me freedom to abuse those closest to me
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 8
He did mention that not too long ago. Thank you for the reminder. To me it feels like he's been good for over five months, when in reality he's own been back to civilizations for over a month. And thank you to everyone here for their added advice. We are each in our own counseling but maybe we SHOULD go together. And yes i'll look into the other forums as well!
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