I Need Help Focusing
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 3
I Need Help Focusing
I've recently quit drinking and decided to go to rehab.
I can't stop thinking about other things, I want to focus on myself but I can't.
My kids are mad at me because I left them with my mother for two weeks to party.
My mother is mad at me and about to kick me out
My school is about to discontinue me, and now I'm waiting to see if they'll allow me to write the finals. (I'm trying to change my career)
My friend with benefits; who I've fallen for, I know there's no future with her because she's my partner in crime. We see other people and now I'm starting to get jealous.
My relatives; my grandmother was recently hospitalized and everyone was there except for me because I was drinking.
Co-workers; they're mad at me because I've missed a few meetings regarding some projects we need done asap.
My friends; all the ones who I've treated like **** and got into fights with and some of the girls I've been with outside of my fwb while I was partying. Now none of them are replying to my messages.
So, I don't figured out, but I need to dig myself out of this hole before I go to rehab.
But I can't focus and I'm easily distracted with one problem after the other.
I can't stop thinking about other things, I want to focus on myself but I can't.
My kids are mad at me because I left them with my mother for two weeks to party.
My mother is mad at me and about to kick me out
My school is about to discontinue me, and now I'm waiting to see if they'll allow me to write the finals. (I'm trying to change my career)
My friend with benefits; who I've fallen for, I know there's no future with her because she's my partner in crime. We see other people and now I'm starting to get jealous.
My relatives; my grandmother was recently hospitalized and everyone was there except for me because I was drinking.
Co-workers; they're mad at me because I've missed a few meetings regarding some projects we need done asap.
My friends; all the ones who I've treated like **** and got into fights with and some of the girls I've been with outside of my fwb while I was partying. Now none of them are replying to my messages.
So, I don't figured out, but I need to dig myself out of this hole before I go to rehab.
But I can't focus and I'm easily distracted with one problem after the other.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,087
First off, clear your mind. Don't worry about anyone or anything right now. The only thing that currently matters is you, your feelings, and that's it. Empathy is out the window for this exercise.
Start by writing a list with two sections. Things that make you happy & fulfilled, and sad / frustrated / angry (don't include drinking & promiscuous drunken sex in the happy column).
Now go through your "happy & fulfilling" column one item at a time, and write down ways to strengthen those aspects of your life. Then go down the sad & frustrated column, and write down the reasons it makes you feel like that, and what actionable steps you can take to lessen those feelings.
Last, write a list of goals, short, mid & long-term to achieve those things. Both, making yourself happier & more fulfilled, and also on making yourself less sad & frustrated. Begin by following through with one short-term goal at a time, until you build up a momentum.
If you manage to get a decent momentum, everything else will most likely fall in place. Family & co-workers won't be constantly disappointed in you, you won't feel frustrated, etc.
Either way, welcome to SR, and all the best!
Start by writing a list with two sections. Things that make you happy & fulfilled, and sad / frustrated / angry (don't include drinking & promiscuous drunken sex in the happy column).
Now go through your "happy & fulfilling" column one item at a time, and write down ways to strengthen those aspects of your life. Then go down the sad & frustrated column, and write down the reasons it makes you feel like that, and what actionable steps you can take to lessen those feelings.
Last, write a list of goals, short, mid & long-term to achieve those things. Both, making yourself happier & more fulfilled, and also on making yourself less sad & frustrated. Begin by following through with one short-term goal at a time, until you build up a momentum.
If you manage to get a decent momentum, everything else will most likely fall in place. Family & co-workers won't be constantly disappointed in you, you won't feel frustrated, etc.
Either way, welcome to SR, and all the best!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Hi there J,
Welcome to SR. Congratulations on your decision to stop and to go to rehab. That is a big first step. You need to concentrate on you now mate. Get yourself better and things will start to fall in place.
Keep on posting here on SR. You are going to get some great advice and you will get better. You just got to take it one day at a time now.
Cheers,
ZAB
Welcome to SR. Congratulations on your decision to stop and to go to rehab. That is a big first step. You need to concentrate on you now mate. Get yourself better and things will start to fall in place.
Keep on posting here on SR. You are going to get some great advice and you will get better. You just got to take it one day at a time now.
Cheers,
ZAB
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi josiv 
I tend to agree that maybe rehab needs to come first? with some sober time behind you and a clearer head, I think you'll be in a far better position to know what to do about all these issues
Welcome to SR
D
I tend to agree that maybe rehab needs to come first? with some sober time behind you and a clearer head, I think you'll be in a far better position to know what to do about all these issues
Welcome to SR
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 3
Thanks guys and gals.
The only ones that matter in my life and I know are going to be there, are my kids and my mom. They're both supportive and are going to help me with A.A. meeting.
Figure that would be a good place to meet other sober people, most of friends drink so, I'm gonna have to pass on our weekend excursions from now on.
To Troy: I'm going to work on that tonight, while I watch the Washington Capitols win
The only ones that matter in my life and I know are going to be there, are my kids and my mom. They're both supportive and are going to help me with A.A. meeting.
Figure that would be a good place to meet other sober people, most of friends drink so, I'm gonna have to pass on our weekend excursions from now on.
To Troy: I'm going to work on that tonight, while I watch the Washington Capitols win
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914
Welcome Josiv!
Are you just trying to get sober or are you going to enter a rehab facility?
A lot of those places offer therapy sessions, which sounds like it could be useful to help you work through some of these issues and figure out how to deal with them...
Are you just trying to get sober or are you going to enter a rehab facility?
A lot of those places offer therapy sessions, which sounds like it could be useful to help you work through some of these issues and figure out how to deal with them...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 3
I feel I need rehab, been meaning to check myself in, and am making progress.
Been to a couple AA meetings already but I also think I may need some therapy as well. I have some issues I have to deal with, when I drink I can get reckless and don't care about anything, not even my own well being.
as it is, I'm just going to try and focus on school but my mind wanders and I think of scenarios that will most likely never happen.
I've made it up to most of the people who were mad at me, everyone is understanding.
Been to a couple AA meetings already but I also think I may need some therapy as well. I have some issues I have to deal with, when I drink I can get reckless and don't care about anything, not even my own well being.
as it is, I'm just going to try and focus on school but my mind wanders and I think of scenarios that will most likely never happen.
I've made it up to most of the people who were mad at me, everyone is understanding.
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