TerpGal

RAH remains sober and will have 9 months in a little over a week. I'm not thinking about divorcing him anymore.

What has become apparent are our very, very sucky communication skills. In addition to being a RA, he is as bad a codie as I am. We often can't make decisions because we won't say what we want. We are often passive aggressive toward each other when the other party can't read our mind. As a result there's a lot of resentment. On both sides. I see the issues pretty clearly. RAH does not. I'm not f really feeling up to resuming marriage counseling as I really need to focus on getting my head together. I wonder what we can do in the mean time? I know he won't be interested in CODA. He abandoned AA in favor of SMART recovery because the 12 step model was not working for him.

amandamarie

Try texting, emailing, writing, ect. My boyfriend sucks at talking, but if I text him I seem to be able to get an answer out of him. Some things are easier to write than say.

CodeJob

Ah my Terrapin, you are in my world!

This is Gottman territory.

http://www.azgrowth.com/4Horsemen.pdf

Duckygirl1

My ex husband was a sucky talker, but he could write., sometimes he'd just leave me a note. It worked. It's worth a try