MJane91

So being 23 and living sober how did people deal with people asking why you don't drink ?!

I mean I have guys asking to go on dates etc and friends talking about going out which generally involves drink in every situation so im just curious how people dealt with that "why don't you drink?" question... Lol

Kris47

I have an allergy to drink and feel better when I don't.

least

If anyone asks me why I don't drink, I just say I've had my fill of drinking for a lifetime and no longer want to do it.

Cauliflower

Good question. I am thinking about what I will say. I think i will say, "I am on a slippery slope, and not going anywhere but up!" Or something like that.

cambie03

This has been a tough one for me, also in my 20s and literally everyone else drinks so I've been asked this A LOT.

The first few times I answered weakly "I'm on a no drinking cleanse to be healthier" or "I'm tired" or "I'm not in the mood". Sometimes my friends would grill me and be like yeah but it's just one drink, it's friday night, etc. It was really hard to say no and I clenched my teeth and fists a LOT. I didn't want to tell people I had an alcohol problem - talk about a way to shut down a conversation. So I basically just put up with it being awkward for a little bit.

But now that I'm more comfortable with my sobriety, I'm a lot stronger mentally and so these questions just don't bother me like they used to. I still go out a lot, and every time I was asked the question it got easier with practice. Now I just answer truthfully, I'm not drinking tonight, and if anyone pushes me, I just shrug it off. Eventually people stop asking.

Long story short... just saying "I'm not drinking tonight" is sufficient, the truth, and if anyone pushes you on it they're a jerk anyway

tomsteve

Could be varying responses from me.
Just because I don't.
Because there isn't enough if I do.
Because I don't want my allergies to kick in and break out in hand cuffs and/ or black eyes.
Do you want to stop being my friend?

Butt he simplest is simply
Because I don't. No more explanation needed.

ScottFromWI

You are right that this is a very common question. I have found that there are basically 2 answers I use for 2 distinct groups of people.

1. People I used to Drink with: Some of these people i simply don't hang around with anymore as all we really had in common was drinking. The few that I do see i simply tell them that I don't drink anymore.

2. Everyone Else: Quite frankly i've never been asked as to "why I don't drink". I've been offered drinks but I simply say no thank you and that's pretty much it.

The misconception I had ( and most of us have ) in early sobriety is that people actually care if we are drinking or not. They don't, and in fact most of them don't even think about it. Our Alcoholic mind wants us to think they do to trick us, but they truly don't.

Soberwolf

i dont drink

Findingtheway

If i'm answering someone else...I say i choose not to.

If i'm answering myself...As to why i don't drink anymore.

A) It almost killed me
B) It made me act quite insane
C) It almost cost me my job of 10 years
D) And a whole list of others.

nymets86

Yeah, I'm also in my 20s and it's definitely tough. It's also definitely mostly in our heads since as others have pointed out above, most people simply don't care if you are drinking.

For me, with coworkers, I've just said "not tonight" or "I have homework to do when I get home," etc.

With friends, I've not really gotten directly asked, but I know it will come up. Since I don't want to admit to a problem, I think it'll be easier to just say stuff like "I'm on a diet and not drinking," "I'm on allergy medication," or "I have bad heartburn tonight and don't feel like drinking." My obsessing over getting asked is problematic, and causing undue stress. It seems like it is for you too. Let me know how things go.

ArtFriend

I agree that it can be harder to handle when you are younger. More peer pressure I think. I am 57 and no one bothers me about it. I just decline the offer. The end.

mecanix

Makes me very sick and i throw up.

People tend not to bother to ask again

countrygirl2014

1. I don't like it.
2. I wasn't good at it.
3. I just don't. Period.

Jennifer

waveridermke

"You don't want me to drink... trust me."

"I've had enough to drink for a lifetime."

"I don't drink... I just don't. *changes topic*"

firstymer

For me this is one of those questions that I worried about more than I needed to. Just pick an excuse, any excuse, from the ones suggested and you will be fine. People will accept whatever excuse you give them. How can they not, right?

In reality people are concerned more about what THEY are doing or not doing, than they are concerned about what YOU are drinking or not drinking.

It'll be fine.

JT0626

Funny you ask this......I encountered this situation several weeks ago at my daughter's b-day party. A casual friend of mine was talking about going out for drinks with her husband & mine. My husband chimed that I don't drink anymore. So my friend pulled me aside & asked me about it. I simply said, "My drinking was becoming more than "just a drink" and I didn't like that". My friend nodded & said "Good for you for recognizing that". No fuss, no drama. A simple "I don't drink" should suffice, if you ask me....I don't understand why people think they need to have drawn out explanations.

SoberCAH

I tell people I am a recovering alcoholic.

I don't need anyone else's approval of what I do, what I decline to do, what clothes I wear (or don't wear - underwear) or what car I drive.

FreeOwl

I use some variation on the response;

I've decided alcohol isn't compatible with the way I prefer to live.

On the rare occasion I've been pressed for more information, depending on the person I'm speaking with I may share more - or I may simply respond with things like "I've found life without alcohol to be more joyful, deep and meaningful".

These are all true - and I prefer to focus my responses on the reasons WHY I choose not to drink rather than the struggles I had while drinking.

This way, my responses carry integrity, are true and are honoring to myself and my sobriety - without having to open discussions about "having a problem" or "being an alcoholic".

I'm not ashamed to have those discussions - but I prefer to have those discussions with other alcoholics and / or people whom I can deeply trust not to misuse, misinterpret or misrepresent me as a result.

Imabuleva

Most normal people don't really care who is drinking.

If someone presses you after a "No thanks," they're either someone close that has noticed a change in behavior and probably understand, or they're comparing their own drinking to the drinking of others which is a symptom of an alcohol use disorder.

But "No thanks, alcohol makes me dizzy." or something similar should suffice if you want to plan a response.

GirlGoneBad

I've already had to think about this as well. I am going to tell my friends "I am working out a lot and it really interferes with that." It's simple and I don't commit myself to a half marathon or super restrictive diet. It's also true; those who are active can attest.

Plus, I also have dizziness issues and being hung over really makes those worse.