wpainterw

I recall a group therapy session back in 1988 where I first came to sense the presence of the “beast” within, how dangerous it was to me and it was then that I resolved to put it back in its cage permanently. Ever since then I hope that the more rational parts of my brain have evolved towards that objective. It is harrowing to learn that a part of one’s own brain can be your worst enemy and miraculous that another part of the brain may achieve greater control. Thus the battle for recovery becomes a struggle within to regain one’s true “self”. Fighting that darkness can be the greatest challenge of all. The Greeks knew this over two thousand years ago when, over a portico at Delphi, they wrote “Know Thyself!” It seems important not only for recovery from alcoholism but for any other form of addiction, such as addiction to food, gambling, money, sex, fame, power or other forms of compulsive behavior. It is not only the “beast’ but it is the “child within”, dangerous and, at times, even deadly, as may have been so in various terrorist homicide-suicides, where the perpetrator seeks to destroy himself and others.

Stiv

I needed that, Thanks!

Nonsensical

Nailed it.

That was one of the most difficult things for me to learn to deal with; part of my own brain is actively betraying me.

anattaboy

Yup, We have met the enemy and he looks a lot like Us'm.

wpainterw

P.S.And the good part of it is that it is scientifically verifiable. It's not just "theory" or intuition. It's there because it was useful, particularly for beasts in a prehistoric jungle. Today it must be adapted to other ends, love, emotion, stamina, "guts', Note, however, that facing up to the "beast' takes stamina, "guts". Ironic. Wheels within wheels. Whether you want to think about this or not, the main thing is sobriety. And any way you can get that is the right way for you.

W.

freshstart57

I am with you 100% on this one, WPW. I have long recognized this internal struggle and from a young age too. I could or maybe should do this certain thing, but I am doing that instead.

There is indeed a structural model of addiction that places the origin of these wonky survival drives in the prehistoric brain. It does what it does and will always do so. However it is under the ultimate control of the rational brain and exerting that control can be difficult, but it is never impossible. It happens all the time.

wpainterw

I agree, but note the obvious, that the degree of "control' by the rational part of the brain diminishes greatly with prolonged drinking of alcohol. Thus it becomes increasingly vulnerable to ''witch messages" from the Beast. And, in the period after drinking has been discontinued, that is in the early stages of recovery, this vulnerability poses a high risk of relapse. The cerebral cortex is still numb and ineffective and can be easily "set up" by the Beast. In a sense it's a sitting duck. This is the famous "pink cloud" period. Although the Greeks said, "Know thyself", it's better also to warn a beginner, "But never trust yourself. Always watch your back, particularly at the beginning of your journey out of the jungle." As Satchel Paige used to say, "Somethin' may be gainin' on you!"

W.

Nonsensical

Indeed, we see it daily here on SR. Especially in the Newcomer's forum where people have come to realize their drinking is wreaking havoc on their lives, but part of their brain keeps telling them I gotta have it or next time will be different. Don't believe everything you think!