daydreamer0217

Finally after all this pain, and roller coaster of emotions and all the wondering.. all the questioning.. I now know the real truth.

He didn't break up with me because he was newly sober and needed to focus on recovery. He didn't need to get better. He just wanted someone else and I was in the way. An old friend and I talked yesterday, she had no idea about anything that had happened. She just started talking about the old neighborhood and who we still talk to and it came to light that my xab, the one that I completely, and by my own will, gave all of me to these last 16 months, is just a cheater.

So, all the anger, all the tears, i shed. all the emotions, the guilt.. none if it matters. I am not even really that shocked. I am mostly numb, but hey, I let him treat me like crap. I let him use me, I let him cheat, steal , and lie to me. I stayed and I knew better.

He is a cheater and a drunk. and I , my friends, am done. At least I know. at least , now, I know.

SparkleKitty

I'm sorry, daydreamer, I know that hurts. You're right, though, at least now you know, and you can begin to move on. Hugs.

MrsVain

thank God that it was only 16 months and NOT 16 years!!!! i am not discounting your pain. i have been dealing with heartbreak for 16 months after being with XA for 14 years. i guess that is the reason i thought this way.

you deserve better and now you have even MORe reason NOT to go back....
hope you find your peace soon.

amberly

I am so sorry Daydreamer. He doesn't sound like he deserves one more iota of your thoughts or feelings. I hope you have terrific new beginnings just around the corner.

daydreamer0217

i would never go back,especially after he told me he had no respect for me for staying. He actually tried to make me feel bad. whatever. DONE

lillamy

As much as it hurts, now you know. Now you won't have to waste another minute of your life on someone who doesn't deserve you. (((hugs)))

LeeJane

I am so sorry this has happened but thank goodness you found out the truth and don't need to waste any more thought or time on this person.

You deserve far better.

marie1960

It's true, the truth can be a harsh reality, still I would much rather live knowing the truth, and not commit myself to a meaningless relationship.

It's a super crappy feeling to know someone betrayed us. Not an easy pill to swallow.

i felt numb for a bit, somehow being numb, helped to ease the hurt of the betrayal.

i made a few short term goals for myself, it was just what I needed to shift the focus, and a good reminder that I matter too.

I know where you are coming from, when you say " I let him treat me like crap" I have felt the same way.

I have come to accept the fact, that at that moment in time, for whatever reason, that is exactly what I chose to do. Generally speaking, people only do what they choose, we really can't force anyone into a relationship, we go into it willingly, all happy, positive for the future, we are in the moment, living a good life, and then somehow the rug gets pulled from under us. Next thing we know, we are the doormat.

I am sorry that you were deceived, and if there is a silver lining, it has to be, knowing what you will never accept as an acceptable standard of life again.

Hang in there, better days ahead.

Hangnbyathread

Mine swore it was the alcohol that caused the cheating.

I'll never know. Doesn't really matter.

amberly

I will apologize ahead of time because this probably won't be helpful. But the more I think about your posts, the more I just have to say "what a twit!". I only know you from your posts and I can tell you are way too good for this guy.

NYCDoglvr

Of course it hurts, but it's a reality check. I'd rather have a bad reality than feel-food lies anytime.

AliWProk

Just a suggestion, but getting tested for STIs might be a good next move.

maia1234

when people show you who they are, believe them the First time!!

Sorry!!