Mac1

One of the fundamental principles to recovery seems to be that we need to do more than just stop drinking. This makes a lot of sense, for so long (decades in my case) alcohol has been there to cope with everything life throws at us. The advice is we need to do new things or end up feeling deprived and frustrated.

I’ve been sober now for over a year apart one very brief relapse. Its going way better than I could have imagined and don't have any desire to go back to my old lifestyle.

I attend an aftercare group one evening per week which is a follow on from a 6 week rehab programme in March 2014. It has been a wonderful aid in my recovery.

Some of the group members go to AA regularly and see it as essential; others stopped attending after a period of time. All are agreed that you need to do something! And that’s where I’m kind of stuck. I went to AA for the first few months, then started missing the odd week but don’t bother at all these days. I don’t mean to detract from AA, I know that it has been an enormous help to many many people, just for me it got too much hearing the same stories repeated week after week. I get a lot from regularly visiting SR but apart from this and aftercare that’s it in terms of engagement with other people in recovery. I’m torn between whether I should start attending AA again or press on without it.

Has anyone had a similar experience? I would love to hear your thoughts.

FreeOwl

I go to AA at least once every few weeks.

The 'same old stories' are important for me to hear... Lest I too readily forget.

The warm and familiar faces...

The place to safely vent my challenges to sobriety to real people in an understanding environment.

The guidance as I work the steps - in my way....

Without AA as part of my sobriety net, I know it would be weakened.

biminiblue

I went for the first four months and stopped. I previously had 18 years of sobriety with no meetings. SR is my only sobriety support for the last eight months. I feel like it is enough, but I do still read AA's Big Book.

I can say that I had stepped away from spiritual principals during those sober years, and I needed that part again.

Can you try different groups at different times? I actually like the stories. I just didn't want to share mine.

jazzfish

For me, sobriety requires nothing more than to never drink again. The more complex I make it, the more conditions I add, the more I am setting myself up for failure. That said, there is a need to create a satisfying life and the equip myself with effective skills for living. AA does not have a corner on that, nor do they claim to. For me, I found more support for sobriety by learning about and taking control of my personal financial situation and career. This really surprised me at first, but it makes increasing sense to me now. Those skills are focused much more on where I want to be with my life and how I am going to get there. That does NOT diminish sobriety as THE fundamental element of my future life. You will need to decide which path is the right one for you.

LaTraviata

Hi, Mac. I've only been sober a few weeks. Been attending AA daily. For me, it's very useful to connect with others who are working on sobriety. It also gives me an alternative to drinking at night.

Dunno if I'll continue to go forever. I think eventually I'll still participate, but not daily.

Maybe you're at that point, where it still holds some value but is redundant when you attend on a daily basis?

Mac1

Thanks, there is one only a few miles away which would be worth a try.

Anna

I agree with you that recovery is much more than just stopping drinking. For the first few years of my recovery, I relied on books and then I found SR and have been here ever since. Coming here daily always inspires me and it's good to know that people here do understand.

I think your motivation for recovering is more important than the program you choose. Whatever works for you is great.

TomTom75

I am two weeks in and been to 3 meetings . One yesterday cos I was bored and that can lead to trouble for me. I enjoy the welcome, the stories although I may feel the same after a while that I can't take too much of them. I stand at the prayer at the end out of respect but I won't ever say that . The twelve steps I'm not going to do but a lot of the prinples I will use. I mentioned this to the "sharer" at the break and she said said to her friend "this one thinks he can do it himself without the steps", basically saying I will fail. So I am going to meetings when and if I want and taking from them what I need for as long as I need. When I'm there I will help others as much as I can on here and in life.I'm the kind of person who needs that. I'll not sit at the table and share although I may speak from my seat. I need opinions . Sorry if I'm hijacking your post but it made me think , so thanks .

Zebra1275

My AA attendance has decreased as the length of my sobriety has increased.

When I first went to AA I was pretty desperate and the program and the fellowship of others helped me a lot.

Now that I've got a few years of sobriety, I attend about 1 meeting a week just to keep in touch. However, I know that if I get desperate again I've got a place to go.

Mac1

Thats a good point LaTraviata. Here people tend to be very regular AA goers - 3 or 4 meetings a week. I got a lot out of it in early recovery so definitely you should stick with it. Think I will try it once every 2 or 3 weeks, cheers

IOAA2

Hi.
I’m the type of alcoholic that realizes that I need a lot of reminders because my past shows I’ve got a built in forgetter and I try to “keep it green.”

That being said I haven’t had a desire to drink in over 35 years so MAYBE it works or I’m sicker than most.

Mt remember when is remembering so many hot shots figured they’d do it their way and are not breathing any longer.

Please try to understand it’s not just the meetings that keep us sober, it’s the program of recovery and listening to suggestions and feelings at the meetings that keep us sober.

BE WELL

Komplex

Hi Mac. I have also been thinking about AA, but am nervous. I read through an archive thread this morning titled " I wish I had the courage to go to AA". It is old, but a great read.

Bmac

So true. You have to have a plan and change your perception and understanding of yourself and the world around you. That plan could be AA, group therapy, aftercare, reading spiritual books etc. etc.. There is no one way, there are many and you can choose any or all of them. Just remember, change is necessary. I said this in another post this morning and will say it again, you can't solve a problem using the same understanding of yourself and your world that caused the problem in the first place.

IOAA2

Even if I had the greatest addiction education in the world there are things I must do anyway.
Be honest with myself about my drinking.
Accept the fact I cannot drink in safety.
I’ve got to want to stay sober, see and understand the reasons I drank then work on those reasons and change.
My addiction is separate from the reasons I drank, it took awhile for me to compulsively drink, as my drinking increased because of my feelings I ended up addicted to alcohol.

BE WELL

Joe Nerv

I could have posted this myself, with only changing the 35 to 30.

I don't go to AA nearly as much now as I did my first 20 years of sobriety, but I still make it a part of my life. And I believe it's because of my commitment and involvement those first 20 years that I got to this point. There are many times along the way where things came up that I believe may have caused me to drink if I didn't have the rock solid foundation (and continual reinforcement) I got from AA. I'm not sure had I picked up, that I'd have been as lucky as others and made it back to the sober side, either.

As for the boredom part, when I hit meetings nowadays I find there are some that I honestly can no longer tolerate. The ones that thrive on war stories, and venting. My 2 most recent meetings were of that sort. 75% of the meetings I've made over the past 30 years have been either step, or BB meetings. I'm about to commit to making that 100% for the future, lest if I have a speaking commitment or some other type of service I'm doing.

I'm quite certain at this point in my life and sobriety that I can stay sober without AA. I find however that I'm more centered and happier when I am going to meetings, so I see no reason to stop. I also enjoy the never ending stream of new friends, opportunities to help, and opportunities for new experience and learning. Yes, all those things can be found elsewhere, but what an awesome resource for all that AA has been for me. Gets me away from this computer and my cellphone too, which is something I've been working at as of late. I personally benefit much more from my interactions with living breathing people that I can see and touch, than I do getting involved in conversations on the internet. That's a whole nuther can of worms though. One that I've learned on other forums doesn't go over very well - on forums . For obvious reasons.

Thems are my thoughts.

MIRecovery

I know at least 40 people with 10+ years of continuous sobriety and they all attribute regular meeting attendance as critical part of their sobriety.

One of the primary reasons I am sober is I do what people with long term sobriety do.

Another reason I go to AA is the same reason I'm on SR. Giving back what was so freely given to me helps keep me sober.

FreeOwl

Yep, yep.... And yep.

Mac1

I’ve definitely heard enough to convince me that AA is worth another try. I guess the fact that I felt strongly enough to start a thread would indicate that I was uncomfortable that I’ve let it slip. Certainly many of the stories and advice I heard at meetings made a big impression - it would be nice to hear some more.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply

MIRecovery

I have found that I don't try AA. I do AA.

AA is a program of action. I got a sponsor, I worked the steps, I did service work, I came early and stayed late, I go to a lot of meetings, I got to know people and they are now the dearest friends I have ever had, I read AA literature.

For me sobriety is about what I do not about what I think

awuh1

Yes, for most of us there's more to not drinking than just not drinking. If your aftercare group is enough to sustain you I think that's fine, at least for the time being. My suggestion is to try to think really long term. I'll tell you what works for me.

I don't attend nearly the number of meetings I did in the beginning, nor do I share nearly as often. The reason I attend now is also quite different than the reason I attended in the beginning. In the beginning I went because I needed things from those people in order to help me stay sober. Now I attend mostly for the opportunity to be helpful. I believe that my specific experience or perspective might be just what someone needs to hear.

I attend now for the opportunity to experience freedom from the boundaries of self. For me, it's a good part of a long term plan.