Pride vs. Awe
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: TX
Posts: 481
Pride vs. Awe
Before coming into recovery, in brief moments of creativity, I would boast with pride. Boasting inside if I had no one to boast to outside. Look what I did!
Then came steps 2, 3, 6, 7, and 11. Believing that some Power beyond my personal will could restore sane thought and behavior. Making a decision to follow that Power. Asking that Power to remove the obstacle of self preventing my recovery, not to mention causing a lack of creative potential. And tapping into that Power for guidance on a daily basis. The creative thought and action I so desperately sought prior, finding only in rare moments, now seems to come with abundance. Of course, being the good alcoholic/addict I am, not as abundant as I would have it. But in a quantity any reasonable person would be content with.
Now, when I happen to do something creative, I recognize it for what it is. This Power creating through me. Expressing Its personality. Rather than Michael being an extraordinary human being. And while there is obviously work involved in cultivating any creative gift, the key lies in the word "gift". Without the initial gift, there is nothing to practice.
Today, I am not prideful of myself for any creative accomplishments I might enjoy. I am in grateful awe at That which works through me.
Then came steps 2, 3, 6, 7, and 11. Believing that some Power beyond my personal will could restore sane thought and behavior. Making a decision to follow that Power. Asking that Power to remove the obstacle of self preventing my recovery, not to mention causing a lack of creative potential. And tapping into that Power for guidance on a daily basis. The creative thought and action I so desperately sought prior, finding only in rare moments, now seems to come with abundance. Of course, being the good alcoholic/addict I am, not as abundant as I would have it. But in a quantity any reasonable person would be content with.
Now, when I happen to do something creative, I recognize it for what it is. This Power creating through me. Expressing Its personality. Rather than Michael being an extraordinary human being. And while there is obviously work involved in cultivating any creative gift, the key lies in the word "gift". Without the initial gift, there is nothing to practice.
Today, I am not prideful of myself for any creative accomplishments I might enjoy. I am in grateful awe at That which works through me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
Your words capture the essence of our recovery through the steps of AA.
When non-AA members want to congratulate me on my sobriety, I tell them that all of the credit goes to God and AA (which I believe to be an instrument of God) in that order.
I have been blessed with the gift of recovery and the ability to live a fairly normal life to a good purpose, all of which is a miracle for someone with the level of alcoholism I exhibited the last few years of my drinking.
When non-AA members want to congratulate me on my sobriety, I tell them that all of the credit goes to God and AA (which I believe to be an instrument of God) in that order.
I have been blessed with the gift of recovery and the ability to live a fairly normal life to a good purpose, all of which is a miracle for someone with the level of alcoholism I exhibited the last few years of my drinking.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: northern AZ
Posts: 796
Exactly! I credit both my sobriety and creativity/skill to God. I always felt I was channeling instead of originating if I would just get out of the way and what was strained came with ease when I did.
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