renee18

The past few days have been rough for me. I was away from my house for two full weeks. I was doing fine and working my program good. Then I had to come home. I thought I would be okay but this past Monday I prove to myself I was wrong. I came home from band practice and my dad was drinking and being a smart-a## again. I have not had to deal with this for awhile. I got mad but i did not stay mad long this time so that is an improvement from the old me. This time I said something to my mom and she really did not say anything. Than my mom started with the crap. I got my hair done yesterday and as soon as a walked in the door she did not like it. I think it looks good and so does my friends. Then I was talking about my dress for homecoming and she said I can not gain anymore weight. Then she asked if I have gained weight since I wore it last I said no. That really made me mad. I let her get to me all the time. Thinks were good between us then now they are not. I love my mom but I don't understand why she has to be so judgemental about how I look or what I do.
Love,
Shana, 18

sweeks

Hi. I totally know how you feel my mom was the same when I was younger...I eventually just learned to let it roll off my back because she treated everyone like that...It's all about how you feel about you...not your friends not your mom just you. I'm 22 and am finally starting to be more self assured. I hope you can find that place to! *BEST WISHES*

renee18

Sweeks,
Thanks. I know I can't look on the outside for love but I have to learn to love myself first and know that I deserve to love myself because I do not feel that I deserve to love myself yet. I am working on it. I have to find who i like inside me and that is the hardest challenge for me. Thanks
Love,
Shana, 18

Magichappens

((Shana))
You are loved and lovable. A lot of times the people in our families are not capable of loving us. That is the great thing about our meetings. There are people there and here that can love us when we can't love ourself. Try not to get frustrated with your family. Try to focus on the love that is being offered to you. Make a phone call, or post like you did here. We love you Shana. Don't let those negative messages get to you. You are a great person. Hugs, Magic

cwohio

(((shana))) - keep your chin up - like magic said - not everyone can show love but we're all here to support you and because we have a common bond - that makes it so much better.

you are way ahead of the game - stay focused - you are great!!!!!!
cwohio

renee18

Thanks Magic. I know I do have a lot of people that do love me and show love. Especially the friends that I have in my meetings and my sponsor. And friends outside of the meetings too. And all of you guy here to and it does help but the love a want needs to come from me and no one else. Tonight I am trying a new Al-Anon meeting because band practices are in my way of going to meetings so I hope and I think this new meeting will be just as great as my home meeting place. New people but we all have the same thing in common.
cwohio thanks for your message. Yes we all have a common bond and that helps I may not feel love from my family but my Al-Anon meeting and here are my second family to me.
Love,
Shana, 18

splendra

Shana-

I like what you said about wanting to come from a place of high self esteem. You are a good kid and I believe your parents know that you are but, honey they probably just don't know how to express it. You keep modeling for them what self esteem really is you are doing just great!! Don't forget to say your prayers...s

renee18

Thanks Splendra. Things are going a lot better today. I got my Senior Pictures taken todaqy and it was fun. I can't wait to get them back.
Love,
Shana, 18

best

Hello Shana

Now being a parent and looking back at how my mom did and said things.
I understand her intentions were good, she just didn't have a good way of sharing. At some points it was the alcohol at other points it was how she did things. Opened mouth before thinking at times. Still her intentions were good for the most part.

Great seeing you are dealing with it better. Keep up the good job