kmarie

Ok - Today stinks and so did yesterday. My husband just got official orders for deployment to Iraq. So....7 weeks and counting down. I now feel like my heart is being ripped from my soul. So very, very depressed right now. The only good part is that i'm still sober and haven't had a drink for almost a month. Sometimes when all of this war crap gets to be too much I think about how , even for a little bit, the booze would make me feel so much better and I can almost taste it again. At this point I don't think I could look at myself or go come back from the point of no return if i did it. So I don't . For some reason, I don't. Having to actually feel things now, my G.. it hurts.

In memory of miracle

I am sorry to hear about your husbands deployment , thats gotta hurt . My son will soon be going to basic training and that scares the heck outta me . Congradulations on your 30 days !! That is great , and for recognizing there is nothing a drink wont make worse . Keep the faith ! I will be praying that the war will end soon .Right here with you ..prayers ^ trish

Chy

Big hugs for you both. I've had several friends go, gratefully they've returned safe. You be strong okay? *hugs*

sam082602

Wow, Kmarie, my prayers are so totally with you and yours!! Just don't pick up that first, last, or any drink cuz' it will only make things worse, if not today, later on!! Lots of prayers, love, hugs, and support are coming from me to you & yours!! Remember your own prayers--pray your ass off--make your meetings--call your sponsor--hang with SR--continue to work your steps--be ever so grateful for the time that you have with yours--live in today & only today--journal--read the program's literature--do your gratitude lists--meditate--eat and drink healthy--exercise, take long walks with yours--and try to have fun with yours while smiling at & laughing with yours!! If you want, you can check out my website, do the stuff on it, sign my guestbook, and make any suggestions, comments, input, &/or criticism that you want about it!! Most importantly, relax & be ever so grateful for the time that you have with yours & also, be very grateful that you are sober at this very important time in ya'll's lives!! Please, know that my prayers, hugs, love, and support are with ya'll during this time in ya'll's life!! Should you ever need me, please, feel free to PM &/or to email me!! I will answer all of your PM's &/or emails!! Keep your chin up!! Love ya!! Luv, Samantha

Anna

Hi Kmarie,

I'm sorry to hear about your husband's orders too. I know it must be very scary for him and for you. But, you're right, it's not going to improve the situation if you drink. And it is hard to have to really feel things. But, just try to go with it. You know this is going to be hard, but you know you can do it.

Your situation made me think of my first crisis after I'd been sober for a couple of months. Before that, I thought I had to drink in order to get through anything and everything. My daughter who was only 19 at the time, but away at university and living alone, found out she was being followed by a stalker. This was not an ex-b/f, it was someone she's never seen before and it turned out he'd been following her for a full year and knew everything about her. It was terrifying. And, I so wanted to drink but I made it through that episode and you know what, it really made me feel a lot stronger after that.

You'll make it through this and you have friends at SR who will be here for you while your husband is gone.

Love, Anna