Day 1?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: morehead
Posts: 8
Day 1?
Right now I am in a motel room freaking out after spending 3 days at a conference where everyone kept pointing out or asking why my face was so red. I normally drink a 12 pack a day, or there about but on "special occasions" I treat myself to Wild Turkey. So, of course when I rolled into town for the conference the first thing I did was find the liquor store and get a half gallon of the stuff.
I'm so lost. I've tried quitting before, a lot. At one point I even joined AA but quit because I'm an atheist and didn't really fit in with all of the "higher power" stuff.
I'm stopping today, at least that's my plan if you can call that a plan but I'm worried. There seem to be so many reasons to keep drinking. I have chronic back and ankle pain, I can't sleep through the night unless I'm drunk, I get depressed and bored when I don't drink, and life seems flat, dull and like pointless drudgery.
But I need to quit. I just looked up the red face thing and know its a classic sign of alcohol abuse. ( Cutaneous adverse effects of alcohol )
In fact, that's how I found this site, doing web searches for this effect.
Anyway, I've got to drive back home now, I just had to post something before I got on the road. I hope this time I can actually keep it up and stop drinking for good.
I'm so lost. I've tried quitting before, a lot. At one point I even joined AA but quit because I'm an atheist and didn't really fit in with all of the "higher power" stuff.
I'm stopping today, at least that's my plan if you can call that a plan but I'm worried. There seem to be so many reasons to keep drinking. I have chronic back and ankle pain, I can't sleep through the night unless I'm drunk, I get depressed and bored when I don't drink, and life seems flat, dull and like pointless drudgery.
But I need to quit. I just looked up the red face thing and know its a classic sign of alcohol abuse. ( Cutaneous adverse effects of alcohol )
In fact, that's how I found this site, doing web searches for this effect.
Anyway, I've got to drive back home now, I just had to post something before I got on the road. I hope this time I can actually keep it up and stop drinking for good.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
All the negative things you described when you stop drinking are not permanent.
Bad sleep for example. It will pass if you give yourself a chance and your body to heal.
I had the red face as well. Now my face is fine. You can do this!
Glad you found us, and Welcome!
Bad sleep for example. It will pass if you give yourself a chance and your body to heal.
I had the red face as well. Now my face is fine. You can do this!
Glad you found us, and Welcome!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I've been where you are.
I went right off the deep end with vodka in Vegas one year at a conference and it very nearly cost me my job and god knows what else....
This can all be nothing more than a memory of the time when you turned the corner and opened to a brand new chapter - more joyous and beautiful than you ever imagined.
Day 1 is hard.... the days that follow will sometimes be harder.... but it will get better and it will all be worth it.
I went right off the deep end with vodka in Vegas one year at a conference and it very nearly cost me my job and god knows what else....
This can all be nothing more than a memory of the time when you turned the corner and opened to a brand new chapter - more joyous and beautiful than you ever imagined.
Day 1 is hard.... the days that follow will sometimes be harder.... but it will get better and it will all be worth it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
"I'm so lost. I've tried quitting before, a lot. At one point I even joined AA but quit because I'm an atheist and didn't really fit in with all of the "higher power" stuff."
Hi.
That’s obviously your choice but do you have a plan that works as well as AA for long term sobriety?
Many seem to fizzle out by just wishing to be sober without doing the work required to be sober.
I’ve never been religious but believe in a Higher Power and it certainly is not me. Personally if I had the choice of being a miserable drunk or going to church weekly I’d choose churchgoing.
BE WELL
Hi.
That’s obviously your choice but do you have a plan that works as well as AA for long term sobriety?
Many seem to fizzle out by just wishing to be sober without doing the work required to be sober.
I’ve never been religious but believe in a Higher Power and it certainly is not me. Personally if I had the choice of being a miserable drunk or going to church weekly I’d choose churchgoing.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 458
Welcome Alcanon! There is a lot of great support on this site. The first couple of days are the hardest, but you can do it. Being on this site, AA and some AVART helped me the most. There are some AA groups for atheists, which may be an option.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Welcome alcanon 
yeah that was me too. Trouble was I had no real experience of a sober life. I'd been drinking for 20 years - my longest time off was 2 months.
The sleep, the boredom, and the flatness do get better - it 's a tough transition but it's not impossible.
The chronic pain is much better handled by a medical professional. Alcohol was not terribly effective as pain relief, despite what I told myself - in fact it made things worse with the various drunken injuries.
If you find yourself depressed - really depressed - it's best to see a Dr there too.
It's not easy to get sober - those few weeks of transition are rough - but it really is worth it to get to where you'll end up.
There's always support here too - you're not alone
When you look at where you'll end up if you keep drinking - is there really a choice?
D
I have chronic back and ankle pain, I can't sleep through the night unless I'm drunk, I get depressed and bored when I don't drink, and life seems flat, dull and like pointless drudgery.
The sleep, the boredom, and the flatness do get better - it 's a tough transition but it's not impossible.
The chronic pain is much better handled by a medical professional. Alcohol was not terribly effective as pain relief, despite what I told myself - in fact it made things worse with the various drunken injuries.
If you find yourself depressed - really depressed - it's best to see a Dr there too.
It's not easy to get sober - those few weeks of transition are rough - but it really is worth it to get to where you'll end up.
There's always support here too - you're not alone
When you look at where you'll end up if you keep drinking - is there really a choice?
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: morehead
Posts: 8
Thank you all for the support. I'm on day 2 now, so there is that.
I still feel terrible and I have this low grade anger that keeps trying to peek its way out but I think that is really sadness and embarrassment at the realization of how crazy, insane stupid I've been for so many years.
BTW, has anyone used Ambien to help with the sleepless nights? I know the goal is to be off everything but those long sleepless nights and then the even longer following days of exhaustion and general depression and painful in deed. I looked it up on the Mayo clinic web site and that report stated that its not addictive.
And hey, IOAA2, I'm of course keeping all of my options open, including AA, hence my chosen name of Alcanon. I think I still know where my blue book is and plan to break it out when I get home tonight.
Thank you all again.
I still feel terrible and I have this low grade anger that keeps trying to peek its way out but I think that is really sadness and embarrassment at the realization of how crazy, insane stupid I've been for so many years.
BTW, has anyone used Ambien to help with the sleepless nights? I know the goal is to be off everything but those long sleepless nights and then the even longer following days of exhaustion and general depression and painful in deed. I looked it up on the Mayo clinic web site and that report stated that its not addictive.
And hey, IOAA2, I'm of course keeping all of my options open, including AA, hence my chosen name of Alcanon. I think I still know where my blue book is and plan to break it out when I get home tonight.
Thank you all again.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Originally Posted by Alcanon 
And hey, IOAA2, I'm of course keeping all of my options open, including AA, hence my chosen name of Alcanon. I think I still know where my blue book is and plan to break it out when I get home tonight.
Thank you all again.
Thank you all again.
Even for us old timers it’s often amazing how many answers are in that “old blue book” that are many times life saving If we do the reading.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: baltimore, maryland
Posts: 463
Alca,
In my early recovery I used Lunesta for sleep. It helped out immensely, I was able to get a good nights rest. I figured if I was tired all the time this would eventually lead back to drinking. The last letter in "H. A. L. T." is T=tired. Just one less thing to be worried about during early recovery. Always confer with your Dr. first....Best Wishes
In my early recovery I used Lunesta for sleep. It helped out immensely, I was able to get a good nights rest. I figured if I was tired all the time this would eventually lead back to drinking. The last letter in "H. A. L. T." is T=tired. Just one less thing to be worried about during early recovery. Always confer with your Dr. first....Best Wishes
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Arizona
Posts: 111
Originally Posted by Alcanon
Right now I am in a motel room freaking out after spending 3 days at a conference where everyone kept pointing out or asking why my face was so red.
I've seen it happen to other people I know who are heavy drinkers.
Good luck in your journey to sobriety.
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